GIVE IN?? or NOT??!! That's the question!!

As usual, I was running today, a hot and rather sultry morning - and trying to complete a distance of 10 km, and I was lucky, maybe more. Being a Sunday, the road was empty with almost no traffic and the usual crowd of morning walkers was also absent. As it happens, after about 3 km, parts of my body, starting with the legs started to protest and whine and groan and squeak. (I was, admittedly, running after a gap of 3 weeks. But that was no excuse, I thought, since I have now been running regularly for more than 4 years). The usual urge was to slow down or stop. Catch a breath, walk some distance and then again start the run. "What should I do, I thought"? Do I give in? Surrender? Or should I plod on? Wellll, we'll see what I did eventually, but first, dear friends, I am hoping to take you through the thoughts that went through my head as I was trying to wrestle with this decision.

First, some perspective. I am currently reading a book called 'Atomic Habits' by James Clear (for the second time). The book talks about how small improvements in our daily lives can add up to big results, provided one practices these small improvements on a regular basis and for a given period of time. One interesting insight which the author gives - and I agree with him - is that our behavior is a function of our self image. Which means, that if I think, I am a runner, then I will behave accordingly. I will avoid greasy food, sleep well, partake liquids, exercise and generally try and adopt a more healthy lifestyle. So, this one fact will impact not just the act of running but everything that impacts running indirectly. For starters, I have to start running, sure. But as the habit get repeated, my sense of identity gets reinforced and a virtuous cycle starts. The cycle can also be vicious, depending on the behavior, but lets talk about the good stuff here!! Another interesting book that I read/heard recently is 'Deep Work' by Cal Newport. This book talks about the power of focus and distraction free work, and how, if one can avoid shallowness in life and focus on things that matter, it can be a 'good life'. So, if my self image is that of a 'deep worker', then probably I will not waste time on small talk, gossip, social media etc and focus on things that produce results that are valuable to the world, and by extension, to me. Some amount of shallow activities, to my mind, are required to let off steam and to stay connected with friends, but even there, maybe I will prefer a face to face (current times not withstanding!) interaction than a simple 'Hi' or 'Bye' on whats app. Coming back, if I think I am someone who does not waste time in trifles, then I will behave accordingly and avoid activities that are shallow.

What's this got to do with my decision? Hmm. Patience, my dear friends, is a virtue!

I am also listening to 'Geeta Saar', which is a verse by verse interpretation of the shlokas of the Bhagavad Geeta - all 18 chapters - by Sh. Shailendra Bharti. Its a 14 hour audio/video clip available for free on You Tube. It is pure serendipity that this link came to my notice and I started listening to it (I normally listen to it during my walks, generally in the evening). The narrator has explained each couplet of the treatise in simple Hindi and also English. Honestly speaking, some of the stuff is too dense and difficult for me to comprehend, but I am trying. In The Geeta, in chapter 2, there is a verse, which means that for the enlightened, day is night and night is day. This essentially means that people who are driven by their deeds, who are 'karma yogis', work irrespective of the hour of the day. So, while other people sleep or waste time, the enlightened, with a single minded dedication, work towards their objectives. Time has no meaning for them. They don't see whether it is day or night, weekday or weekend, rain or sunshine. They are focused on their goal and are working towards its attainment. This is one interpretation of the verse, I am sure there could be many more. There are further verses which talk about how the process - the work - itself is the source of joy and while having a goal is important, but to tie in our happiness to the attainment of the objective, that is what causes sorrow and ironically, prevents us from achieving the objective!! These are the shlokas, the meaning of which, I am trying to grasp in their entirety. Some portions are clear, but most are not. I guess, time and tide will impart some wisdom. The lacuna is decidedly in my intellect and not in the text, since these teachings have stood the test of time. Let's leave that for another time, though.

Now, back to my predicament. Do I given in, do I stop, slow down, capitulate? Or do I keep running at the same pace? Well, the bigger question is, what am I? Someone who buckles down at the first sign of trouble? Or am I a person who, is resilient in the face of adversity, how so ever trivial that 'adversity' might be? Sure, I am not advocating suicide or being overly stubborn. There is merit, given the circumstances, in retreating, and living to fight another day. It was a question of deciding whether to run hard at a good pace, enjoy the process, and maybe run lesser than 10 km. Or simply to plod on, run, stop, walk and somehow reach the 10 km mark. So, is the goal the distance or is the goal to give my best? Whatever the distance, the feeling of putting in my best and not giving in, that feeling is what I wanted to have. So, maybe, the goal was not the distance, but the effort, the process. Well, anyway, as things turned out, I did finish running 10 km. I decided to ignore the aches and pains and continue, but my body simply gave way after the 8 km mark and by the time I touched 8.5 km, I was ready to drop dead!!! So, I slowed my pace, but did not stop, or walk. Was I sad or was I happy. Frankly, I was happy that I burnt more calories by running 8.5 km to the best of my ability than I would have had I 'walked' 10 km. And the best part was that I had fun doing it! It would have been good if I could have touched the 10 k mark with the same intensity. But as I said, we live to fight another day. Tomorrow is a new day and hopefully, the day after as well.

We choose to focus on the process. We try and live 'in the moment', and run, cook, eat, work, or do whatever, to the best of our ability. We try not to deviate from the positive self image and act accordingly. In my view, this is not a bad way to live, and more importantly, not a bad way to live HAPPILY!

Until next time ladies and gents!

Take Care and Stay Safe!