The Give and Take of Networking

This is a photo of Jimmy Fallon the night he made his debut hosting The Tonight Show on Feb. 17, 2014. Ten years earlier he had departed a successful stint as a regular on the widely popular Saturday Night Live.

The deer in a headlights expression says it all. “Damn…Is this really happening?!”

In the span of almost ten years, Jimmy Fallon went from a SNL alum with a somewhat struggling career in Hollywood to the host of one of the most respected franchises in entertainment.

It was not by accident.

Without a doubt, Fallon's meteoric rise is partly due to his intense focus on developing relationships with the right people who could advance his career. His approach to networking was not some kind of cunning manipulation but rather came from a genuine interest in personally connecting with influencers.

Jimmy’s drive and passion to succeed caught the attention of many in the business and his network of influencers grew exponentially with each comedic hurdle he cleared. Whether it was with Lorne Michaels at SNL, or Conan O’Brien at Late Night, or Jay Leno at The Tonight Show, Jimmy never passed up an opportunity to ask for advice and gain valuable insights from the experts to help propel his career.

When asked about his networking tactics with other entertainment icons who assisted in enabling him to rise in the business, he simply says, “perhaps some of these folks were playing the same chess game that I was…perhaps more than I was, but, if this is the case, it was great move for me. We’re both winning”

And therein lies the essence of the mutuality of successful networking. The give and take dynamic which ensures both sides win.

The reality is that effective networking is an interactive and reciprocal form of connecting with others. Effectively engaging with your networking relationships needs to be a give and take, where all parties benefit in some way. To be successful with business networking, you should adopt the mindset that in helping others you will be helping yourself.

In his book, “Never Eat Alone”, Keith Ferrazzi, American author and entrepreneur, talks about networking as a “virtuous reciprocal circle.” It is a dynamic process which produces a multitude of benefits for many. Ferrazzi describes the network cycle as virtuous because the people you help will likely be willing to help you in return and connect you with people they know. When it works right, it’s a win-win for everyone involved.

While business networking can be accomplished in many ways, the data is universal in support of the tangible and intangible benefits to be derived from being an active participant.

According to a recent LinkedIn global survey, almost 80% of professionals consider professional networking to be important to career success, and 95% of professionals consider face to face communication vital for long term business. Not only that, 70% of the respondents were hired at a company where they had a connection, and 85% of all positions were filled through networking.  

While it is widely accepted that networking can enhance your career, networking attitudes don’t always match networking behaviors. Many professionals struggle with a sustained commitment to network building. Some younger professionals lack the confidence and skill to start networking in the first place. 

How can professionals begin to overcome these obstacles? Bottom line, it’s also about having the right approach and mindset before navigating the networking landscape. Here are a few practical tips to keep in mind:

Build it before you need it - start finding your future networking connections today. The potential upsides are much greater than you realize. Before you can tap into a network, you must first cultivate one, starting first with friends and colleagues. The biggest perceived hurdle of networking is usually awkwardness associated with meeting new people, but the first step has nothing to do with strangers; you start by connecting with people you know. 

Define your mission - the more specific you can be about the purpose and goals of your networking initiatives, the more successful you will be in developing strategies to ensure their success. A key component of your strategy is developing a roadmap of relationships with people who can help you get where you want to go. Once you have a clear understanding of the scope and usefulness of the people in your network, you need to consider two important questions: How will this person be able to help me? How can I help them? Putting goals on paper in the form of a relationship action plan, and visiting the plan frequently is recommended. 

Throw away the scorecard - a network functions optimally when there is a recognition of mutual need. There is an implicit understanding that investing time and energy in building the right relationships with the right people will pay dividends. To succeed, though, you must avoid keeping score of favors done and favors owed. We should be mindful that we have all been influenced by others, whose encouragement, kind deeds and acts of generosity have in some way shaped our character and impacted our success. Think of networking in terms of karma…if you do good by others, it will ultimately come back to you. 

Learn to listen - writer and physician, Oliver Wendell Holmes, Sr. once said, “It is the province of knowledge to speak and it is the privilege of wisdom to listen.” Learning to listen is a must-have quality of great networkers. Without a doubt, one of the greatest people skills is a highly developed and authentic interest in the other person. There are a few ways to signal to your networking contact that you are interested and listening actively: show empathy and understanding, ask questions that demonstrate you believe the other person’s opinion is worth seeking out, and focus on their accomplishments and achievements.

Following these guidelines, you will reap not just direct personal benefits, but you will connect people in your network as well, allowing you to indirectly earn a reputation of a “superconnector.” You build a reputation as someone who is focused on giving, not just receiving. This will make you a valuable connection to everyone in your network and will set you up for introductions in return.

It is never too early to start building a powerful network. The sooner you start building and leveraging your network, the sooner you are able to accelerate your career.