About Give and Take

Have you ever been in a relationship where one person did nothing but give and the other only received selfishly?

“Give and take” is a mechanism inherent to all personal relationships – you cannot expect to receive something if you don’t offer on your own turn. Once the balance between give and take is broken, difficulties arise and partners feel they are not getting too much from their relationship.

The real problem is, in fact, not giving enough – you reap what you sow, as the biblical saying puts it.

Healthy relationships are based on mutual caring. Whether its friendship or marriage, there has to be giving and receiving. We reach out to friends who could use support, make an effort to understand what they need and often go out of our way to give them what we sense they need. We know that is how to proceed.

Conversation.

Conversation is not just about exchanging information. People talk to each other to share feelings, to get relief, and to re-assure themselves when they are dealing with problems.

Common mistakes in a conversation are talking only about yourself and not being an active listener

Speak about your problems and concerns, but also offer the other person the chance to talk as well and really listen to them, instead of interrupting and focusing again just on your person.

Giving compliments.

Compliments are a vital part of a healthy relationship.

Oftentimes, your partner needs you to observe their personal growth and recognize their achievement or qualities. From telling your spouse how great they look before going out to dinner to showing your admiration for their results at work, a well-thought and honest compliment every day can make wonders in your relationship.

Accepting flows.

Nobody is perfect, that’s for sure, but some people react more negatively to their partner’s mistakes.

Each time you get angry because your spouse left home this morning without washing the dishes, think about a similar situation where you didn’t meet their expectations either, but they reacted less violently. Is the fight worth it, after all?

Giving space.

Being involved in a relationship doesn’t mean you should be together 24/7 and not accept your partner’s decision of spending time separately.

Understand that people in a relationship can have their own hobbies or do activities with other people as well, and also enjoy your time alone – it will do both of you good!

Putting these pieces of advice into practice may be difficult in the beginning, or make you feel awkward. But, if you feel your relationship needs improvement, doing things the same way as you always have won’t make a difference.

Think before you act, and before you ask.

That’s a great mind-set shift you can make if you want to never feel like you’re giving more where it’s not appreciated, and to make sure you’re investing as much as the other person in this.

Meaning, before doing a favour, rationalize. Think if that person would do the same for you. Only this way can you see when it’s unreasonable and it’s time for you to say ‘no’ and set some boundaries. Otherwise, people will start using you,

The opposite is also true.

When you’re about to ask for something (even if it’s for someone to spend more time with you, give you something, share stuff about his life, or else), think if you’ve given him the same.

This will lead to knowing what type of exchange there is in each relationship in your life, and where you should focus on giving more.

Everything that goes on inside you and that comes out of you has an impression of the other.

This kind of love is not empowering, energizing and healing, because in this kind of love, over a period of time, desires, wants and expectations from the other start emerging. All these emotions place you in a mental mode of taking instead of giving.

Also in such a kind of love, where love is mixed with a desire to possess, over a period of time you start wanting to control the other. From this control, you start exercising a power to influence the other. At first you are under their influence.

As more attachment builds up, this is followed shortly by your desire to bring them under your submission and influence them. That way, you feel that you have them and that they belong to you. This is love that wants to take and not give. In this kind of relationship of love, there is suffering and sorrow.

Even if joy exists, it is extremely short lived. Unconditional love or love that only wants to give and not take or expect, strengthens and is healing, it never hurts or inflicts pain on the other.

Disclaimer: The information on this POST is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional advice. The opinions expressed within this article are the personal opinions of the author. All content, including text, graphics, images and information, contained on or available through this article is for general information purposes / educational purposes only, and to ensue discussion or debate. 

Thank you …You don't have to understand it, you don't have to like it, you don't have to agree with it, you just have to do it, because that's what a real caring and loving relationship is all about.

It's all about give and take" is probably something you've heard of many times. It means to enact reciprocity, or simply put, to do a certain action that you might not really like, but helps out or is something that your partner likes. This is the "give" part.

This could be anything like going out of after work to pick them up their favourite snack, or it could be something bigger, like waking up earlier than them to make them their favourite breakfast. It's not only limited to buying things, it could be just checking up on them making sure they're okay, it can also be giving up time spent with your friends for time spent with them.

Want to add word or two? 

Life with you is going to get better and better the more he puts into it. Every stage of commitment feels better, richer, and more satisfying that the last phase, because at every step along the way he’s earning your investment in him.

He believes that the more time and energy he invests in the relationship, the better things are going to get. He comes to associate more pleasure with connection and commitment, because the more he commits, the better things get both emotionally and sexually, and the more available you become to him

Your comment ….?

Give me belonging, give me identity, give me continuity, but give me transcendence, and mystery and awe all in one. Give me comfort, give me edge, give me novelty, give me familiarity, give me predictability, give me surprise.

Assumes that all human relationships are a matter of costs and rewards and people evaluate the worth of their relationship to make a rational decision of whether or not to progress

It’s all about finding the balance between what we give and what we receive. Unfortunately, the balance in all areas of life is usually the hardest thing to achieve. Especially when talking about social life, when other people are involved and we rarely know what’s going on in their heads.

Thinking about what has been before, having regrets about letting someone get close to you too soon, or wondering what could be different, is a waste of time.

The best thing you can do, that’s great for both of you and anyone else involved, is to practice mindfulness.

What can you do today to improve your relationships, using what you just learned?

It’s about GIVE and TAKE.

Salespeople know better than anyone that you’ve got to give in order to get. And they give a lot. They give their time, their expertise, their commitment, their willingness to do whatever it takes to help customers succeed.

We expect our customers/ followers to reward us with their loyalty, their honesty, and their willingness to invest their own time, attention, and energy into the relationship.

Networking

Givers and takers grow and manage their networks differently. “While givers and takers may have equally large networks, givers are able to produce far more lasting value through their networks.”