Give more than you take

Four years ago I applied for a scholarship. It was something small like $1000. I put in an application and didn't think much about it. The section in the application to write about 'disadvantage' was quite large - looking down at the amount of space I needed to fill in made me cringe. Yes I ticked every category:

* having grown up in a small rural town - check

* attended a high school which was under-represented in university attendance - check

* financial disadvantage - check (In my eyes I never felt this way yet in Australia I met the "definition." I worked incredibly hard and always took up multiple jobs since I turned 14 as a waitress in restaurants, selling fruit and of course the good old call centres.)

For anyone who has applied for for these scholarships or grants, I feel how much you want to cringe at the question of "explain how your financial disadvantage has impacted your education". I'm not sure why we ask young people to reflect on this, but I do understand why it may be included, I wish it could be framed better. Perhaps "If didn't have to worry about money, what would you focus on?"

In this particular application the section on "how have you contributed to your community" left only a couple of sentences to fill in. So I attached another page and wrote about all the things I was passionate about and involved in within my community since moving to Melbourne - I visited elderly people at my local aged care facility since all my grandparents had passed away and I figured I should visit those who don't get visitors, I volunteered for a youth foundation that funded youth projects, at the local op shop and I had led the 40 hour famine challenge at my university spending my recess time convincing students to sign up. These things made me proud, I was happy that despite my situation I was able to meaningfully contribute to the community and make a difference albeit small.

A few months passed and a wonderful woman - Helen Worladge OAM, who administered the scholarship called me asking if she could nominate me for the Boroondara Young Citizen of the Year Award. I didn't know who she was. I was new to Melbourne having moved from a small country town and didn't know very many people, so I was confused why this stranger was being so nice. I made excuses. I told her I was leaving to volunteer in East Africa soon and wouldn't be able to provide two referees in time. She said "that's ok I already have that organised". This puzzled me even more, I didn't know her yet she knew my referees already. I made more excuses, I didn't think I was worthy but she persisted.

She went ahead with the nomination and I remember when I found out that I had won the Boroondara Young Citizen of the Year. I was on the other side of the world in Tanzania, walking back from my volunteer placement and looking at the beautiful Mt Kilimanjaro feeling incredibly grateful.

Upon reflection of Helen's influence in my life, here is what I've learned:

• Give more than you take- where in life can you recognise others? When was the last time you advocated for someone other than yourself? How much time do you spend truly giving vs taking. (Adam Grant's Book Give & Take is a fantastic read - in summary data shows those who give more are more successful in life)
• Whether you realise it or not, there is a community around you of people who actually care. Your actions and inactions are noticed. Whether you join in and contribute to the community or you don't, people do notice.
• You don't have to personally know someone to empower them, make it your responsibility to build up other people.

In every situation a guiding question could be "how can I empower others", rather than the traditional "what's in it for me".

Amongst all the noise on social media, it may feel like everyone is simply pushing their own agenda. However if you look carefully around you, in your community - your neighbours, acquaintances and friends you'll find people who quietly do the work that makes your community a better place to be and it starts with dedicated individuals.

Nowadays I do my best to nominate other people (especially women of colour) who are way too humble to self nominate for various awards, because I know they deserve it. It's pretty simple to notice the work of others around you but that extra mile of putting them forward may make a huge impact on their career/life/self esteem and the best part is it takes nothing but kindness.

This post is dedicated to Helen Worladge OAM, who works tirelessly at the Boroondara Cares Foundation, leading the CHANCES Scholarship Program which gives a hand up to young people in Boroondara - our community is a better place because of people like her who simply care.