Give me a break
Anti social?
We give our kids computors, X box, gaming sights, TV's, desks and then wonder why they dont want to leave their rooms. Then on top of that add another expense, the therapist, to help them because they seem anti social.
Give me a break.
Today parents want to make sure their children have the best available resources to them. They sign them up for after school activities. Sports seems to be the all important event for children expecialy boys. Trying often to fulfill their fathers dreams for athletics. Then the girls go to ballet, tap, or any other kind of activities so they will feel like princesses, the mothers dream. Dont forget piano lessons. Religious schools for religion on weekends, getting together with their classmates and of course going to the movies.
What happened to the times when there was family movie night. Making popcorn and laughing together. Or better yet,just plain talking to your kids. Sitting down having meals together and sharing experiences. Helping with the dishes could be the best time to talk.
Watching TV together. Staying in the same room to do homework, this would open up for conversation, instead of being alone in the bedroom. Togetherness is what is missing. As soon as our kids bcome teen agers the parents panic. They wont go out to eat with us. They will no longer go on vacation. Soon they will be going off to college. What happened to my child. Where did the years go?
My parents could not afford to have more than one TV. We sat together in one room. My mother sewing, my father reading, and the four of us children watching TV, the Ed Sullivan Show. Not having enough money made us closer. I felt a sence of security being there with my family. My parents could not afford tutors, nor did they even know such a thing existed. They spoke broken english. But I had a common sence that a lot of my class mates didnt. I was confident and proud. Maybe not having enouogh money is a good thing.
We look forward to having children. From the birth of our child we celebrate thier future. We put them in seperate inviornments as soon as possible thinking our little geniouses will thrive. The emotional makeup has been neglected. Connecting with another person is vital to well being.
A father needs to show his daughter what it is like to be respected, taken care of, spoken to and to be productive. So she can go out and find a partner in life to continue the same relationship. If a daughter does not get this, then she will be searching always for something that is not quit right. Picking the wrong men in her life that is similar to her father but may not be good for her.
If a father only validates his daughter when she is coming of age and only complements her on her looks then he is giving the message that looks are everything. His daughter may become anerexic wanting to please the father. If the father validates his daughter on her accomplishments, then she will see herself as someone who can be independent and liked for who she is not on what she looks like.
A mother needs to show her son love and affection. She needs to aprove and validate his nurturing side. So when he looks for a relationship he will look for someone equal who also wants to nurture and to be productive.
Children need to learn the emotional makeup in relationships. Putting them in seperate rooms prevents them from having the resourses to take from later on in life. That is why if there is a divorce the female looks to fulfill herself and the male looks to have a good relationship. The messages given to them, for the girls to be nurturers and the boys to be productive left them empty. Each person needs the other to be responsible, productive, nurturing and supportive of each others needs. Taking turns when neccessary.