To Give or Not To Give

It was a Sunday morning. My children were bundled up tight with mittens, hats and winter coats and were securely fastened in their car seats and seat belts; hot air blustered, on max, from my Ford Explorer which engendered a deep contrast of warm comfort from the frozen backdrop of crusted snow and ice that I was now chauffeuring into. It was cold. The digital thermometer, in the rear view mirror, read a dreary 17 degrees as a drizzle of icy rain began to pepper my cracked windshield. The wipers smeared streaks of frosty residue across my vision. I pushed the washer fluid button (despite the illuminated empty symbol on my dash) and was rewarded with only sound. I huffed quietly and switched the warm air to defrost in hopes it would thaw the windshield enough to melt the ice that was now accumulating. My wife hummed a hymnal in the passenger seat next to me; oblivious to my vexation. We headed down highway 115. It was early and the roads were void of traffic. I found myself humming along with my wife, smiling. We drove past the Fort Carson Army Base and made our way into Colorado Springs. As highway 115 turned into Interstate 25/Nevada Avenue something ahead, besides the yellow traffic light turning red, caught my eye. I came to a slow cautious stop. This part of town was sketchy, a bit run down and known for its crime. Fifty feet from my vehicle, to my right, was a relatively thin, grey bearded man clothed with nothing but a a tattered windbreaker, a stained t-shirt and dirty khakis keeping him from the hard wintry elements. With weathered eyes he rummaged through his shopping cart while rubbing his naked hands together catching the warm vapors of his breath which seemed to puff, float and then fade around him. The light turned green. I slowly pressed the gas pedal but not before my eyes locked with his.  I found myself cautiously pulling over to his side of the road...

We have all experienced similar circumstances like this one. To give or not to give? What would you do? There are many reasons why we don't give, however I would like to focus on a few biological reasons why we should.

A candle loses nothing by lighting another candle. ~James Keller

As it turns out, giving of ourselves whether it be of our time or money isn't just a benefit to those we are helping. There is an abundance of research that indicates that generosity can also have advantages for the giver. Those benefits range from gaining a better attitude to adding more years to our lives. Here are some research/science backed reasons to make generosity a regular part of our lives no matter the season.

1. When we give we experience happiness. Harvard Business School professor Michael Norton and colleagues did a study that found that giving money to someone else lifted participants’ happiness more than spending it on themselves. Sonja Lyubomirsky, a happiness expert and professor of psychology at the University of California, Riverside, recorded comparable outcomes when she asked people to perform five acts of kindness each week for six weeks. These good feelings are reflected in our biology. Jorge Moll at the National Institutes of Health found that when people give to charities, it activates regions of the brain associated with pleasure, social connection, and trust, creating a “warm glow” effect. Scientists also believe that participating in unselfish actions actually releases endorphins in the brain, producing the positive feeling known as the “helper’s high.”     
2. 
   Giving is good for our well-being. A wide range of research has linked different forms of generosity to better health, even among the sick and elderly. The book Why Good Things Happen to Good People written by Stephen Post, a professor of preventative medicine at Stony Brook University, informs us that giving to others has been shown to increase health benefits in people with chronic illness, including HIV and multiple sclerosis. Researchers suggest that one reason giving may improve physical well being and longevity is that it helps decrease stress, which is related with a variety of health problems. A study by Rachel Piferi of Johns Hopkins University and Kathleen Lawler of the University of Tennessee, showed that people who provided social support to others had lower blood pressure than participants who didn’t, suggesting a direct physiological benefit to those who give of themselves. 
3. 
   Giving stimulates cooperation and social connection. When we give, we are more likely to get back: Several studies, including work by sociologists Brent Simpson and Robb Willer, have proposed that when we give to others, our generosity is likely to be rewarded by others down the line. As researcher John Cacioppo writes in his book Loneliness: Human Nature and the Need for Social Connection, “The more extensive the reciprocal altruism born of social connection . . . the greater the advance toward health, wealth, and happiness.” Furthermore, when we give to others, we don’t only make them feel closer to us; we also feel closer to them. “Being kind and generous leads you to perceive others more positively and more charitably,” writes Lyubomirsky in her book The How of Happiness, and this “fosters a heightened sense of interdependence and cooperation in your social community.”  
   
4. Giving promotes feelings of gratitude. Whether we’re on the giving or receiving end of a gift, that gift can create feelings of gratitude. It is often a way of expressing gratitude or instilling gratitude in the recipient. And research has found that gratitude is integral to our happiness, health, and social bonds. Robert Emmons and Michael McCullough, co-directors of the Research Project on Gratitude and Thankfulness, discovered that teaching college students to “count their blessings” and cultivate gratitude caused them to exercise more, be more optimistic, and feel better about their lives overall. A recent study led by Nathaniel Lambert at Florida State University found that expressing gratitude to a close friend or spouse often strengthens our sense of connection to that person.    
5. 
   Giving is chemically contagious. When we give, we don’t only help the immediate recipient of our gift. We also spur a ripple effect of generosity through our community. Giving has also been linked to the release of (believe it or not) oxytocin, a hormone (also released during sex and breast feeding) that induces feelings of warmth, euphoria, and connection to others. Paul Zak, the director of the Center for Neuroeconomics Studies at Claremont Graduate University, discovered that a dose of oxytocin will cause people to give more generously and to feel more empathy towards others, with “symptoms” lasting up to two hours. And those people on an “oxytocin high” can potentially jumpstart a “virtuous circle, where one person’s generous behavior triggers another’s,” says Zak.

* * * * * 

So whether we are purchasing gifts, volunteering our time, donating our money to charity or a homeless person…our giving is much more than just a meaningless exercise in benevolence. It matters for both the recipient and the giver. It may very well help us build stronger social connections and even jump start a waterfall of generosity and benevolence throughout our communities. Many blessings and much love to you all. ~Jason Versey

 "You and I were born with a number of God given commodities that were intended to be shared. Among them is our time, friendship and love. These three things pay immeasurable dividends when shared with others. Freely giving of your time, your friendship and your love is the greatest gift you can give someone. Materially, it costs very little and yet there is nothing on this earth that yields a higher return.” ― Jason Versey 

ALSO RECOMMENDED FOR YOU...

The Garden of Your Mind

It's Time We Re-define Success

Something In Me Quit, Long Before I was Fired

Are You Really Stuck Where You Are?

Please follow me or add me on LinkedIn. I am the author of the book A Walk with Prudence Practical Thoughts of Wisdom for Everyday Living

I appreciate your feedback on these articles...good or bad.

Shoot me an email at [email protected] or leave me a comment below. I look forward to hearing from you!