Give and Get Attention- The buzzing graph of distraction.

How do we hold on to what matters to us in an age of distraction?

Yesterday, I deleted around 8 to 9 apps from my device. I did this because I was getting too consumed by the constant notifications because of either marketing or sales or both.

Buzz…swipe…buzz…swipe….buzz….swipe….

How much is too much?

The apps I deleted did not serve much purpose to me. So, deleting them was a good decision. But more than that, my attention, eyeballs, and overall priorities aligned. Then another thing struck my mind. Emails? I jumped into my inbox and decluttered all the unnecessary buzzing of promotional emails and notifications. I am constantly studying or attempting some courses to refine my skills. So I know how to subscribe but forget to unsubscribe, which further drains me.

After all the above, I sat down to introspect (which is my regular thing), what was happening? I was draining myself into the notification and buzz mania that exhausted me to the fullest. My son used to keep looking at me, almost begging for my attention. But I had zero energy to give him. Being a single parent itself is quite a daunting experience. My child only has me to look up to; that too has vanished from his life. My heart ached badly upon this realisation and then I decided, this needs to be fixed now.

What are we trying to promote in the name of innovation and development? If not in need, we are still bombarded with “n” notifications and content that keeps us distracted and unaligned.

The so-called “Digital Age”, was thrown at us. It was up to us what we do with it. And we willingly allowed the apps, subscriptions and features to consume us all. I read many blogs that revolved around, “How to improve your focus”, or “How can you better focus at your workplace to improve your productivity”.

Sharing an interesting piece…

If you read “Scenes of Attention,” a collection of scholarly essays published last year, editors D. Graham Burnett and Justin Smith-Ruiu have challenged the idea that brief attention spans result from digital momentum. Life and tools are moving at a fast pace, creating a turmoil of disturbances and distractions.

They said, “Human beings make the technologies — and they make them in other human beings needing and wanting various things.” After decades of perplexity, do you think a revolution or a discovery suddenly occurred? But with the onset of the modern age, priorities re-sequenced and re-shuffled. The pace of life is an ideological outcome.

What if you didn’t have a social media account at all? Or if you deleted the accounts? Or if you switched off the internet for 3 weeks?

The ecosystem around us tabs us to be up to date for any skill or subject. But in the quest to stay updated all the time to a load of strangers on a social media app, we are losing the warmth and affection for us as it is dying out of ignorance.

Another blog title that shook me was “Don’t date boys who won’t take pictures for your Instagram”. Really?

Obnoxiously Obnoxious!!! Isn’t it?

Another one, “How to train an Instagram boyfriend?” And to the extent of anybody’s nightmare, girls are being raised like this. WHY?

Then I stumbled upon a men’s journal with an article titled, “Tips on how to take a photo of your girlfriend?” The dynamics of being eligible for a relationship are distorted and degrading human intimacy.

Relationships do not centre around how well-updated you are on social media. They thrive and bloom by your awareness of your surroundings, the warmth that nurtures the bond and people.

Distractions and AI do not give warmth. So, re-direct your attention to what does.

Why are relationships not surviving? And I am not talking about only husband and wife. A mother today becomes a problem if she tries to regulate her children’s screen time, and a father is termed “ignorant” if he lets the children be. Online platforms had become invasive long ago. Today, what we see are the results: an entire civilisation is being destroyed.

Distraction- The Big Picture

Many write about ways to make focus work better for you. Let’s eradicate the reason for distraction to position focus better. It is us who gave it in all. Now it has to us to pull out all for better peace, stillness, and awareness.

Even for once, we switch off the internet, put the phone away and close our eyes, I am sure the experience will be endearing and soothing.

This discovery below really caused a whirlwind in my mind, as if all my hormones were fighting over a round-table conference. Distraction is taken to the next level.

The Reddit post about “having difficulty playing boyfriend of Instagram” has over a thousand likes. A significant section about how the other partner feels took my peace away. It said, “Her need for me to catalogue her life is slowly draining my soul."”

Living a distracted routine or life sucks all the energy too soon, exhausting your brain and mind, leaving very little of the self, which is all you have. We all know about decluttering our surroundings, so should we implement it on our digital platform? This will allow a lot of sun and fresh perspectives, giving you better clarity.

Another layer to the distraction dilemma is that we might deliberately want to be distracted. Maybe because we fear facing a particular situation or want to escape what is important to us. Again, in such a situation, we lose an important phase of our life where we were most needed, but we weren’t. Function accordingly.

I thought of sharing some insights with high potential in servicing purposes to handle attention and distraction.

1. Obsession- It has high sucking power

The obsession to be, and remain productive could be distracting you. As a result, many aspects that are vital to you will starve out of less attention. And then, in future, you might complain of the deficit, absence or lack of what is vital. It becomes quite a war when you have to pull yourself apart from all that is not important and place yourself where the potential of significance is much needed and higher.

The world has become obsessed with productivity hacks. And so, they are bombarded with too many notifications, that keep them on their toes all the time. We get so distracted with doing, that we’re not really living.

Obsession directly impacts, distraction. Lower the obsession factor while you aim to build something for yourself.

2. Discipline- Your wonder wand of exceptional magic

We’re skipping the important things in favour of busyness. Even while writing this article, I am getting regular notifications and prompts (the necessary ones) but I chose to remain focused on what I wished to write. “Practice discipline”.

It appears that many of us are on the hamster wheel without actually knowing why and what for. We’re getting busier, but that busyness has no aim. It’s merely a distraction, keeping us off the traction. (just created this one) Discipline comes here as a moderator to help regulate your attention to what works for you and disperse all that drains you.

Despite being busy, it seems that we’re not necessarily doing what’s important. Busyness has become such a habit so much so that many people are terrified of slowing down. If you can’t sit quietly in a room for ten minutes without a distraction (your phone, computer, Netflix etc), chances are you’re hooked on busyness, probably what is unimportant and unnecessary to you. “Practice Discipline”.

3. The DOING-ALL disorder- MORE, isn’t the GOAL

Just because you are on a crazyothon to do everything with perfection, it will completely drain you to the core. Be reasonable with yourself. You will never have everything under control. Your boss will never mark you negative, you will respond to every notification on your device, you will be able to do all the necessary things to keep your family back home sorted, and you will respond to all the emails buzzing in your inbox- all of this is not reasonable. Something will be left behind. So do not adopt the DO-IT-ALL disorder. The moment you submit to this, you will function better and be productive. Just regulate things. And you will find your to-do list like a recipe for an apple pie.

We’ll never get on top of our busyness while we try to do everything in a life that’s actually quite short. Yes. Life is brief. Don’t pile up the grief. (another one)

4. You are short of time, yet time is all you give.

Life is short. We are burdened by time, yet equally ignoring it. Once time is utilised, you regret that you wasted on something that could have been avoided. Sheel down those extras. They are of no use to you. They are energy-sucking leeches that are taking away the charm from your life. The regret later, will not bring back the time that is gone. But if you pay attention to the lesson, you will apply it better in the future to get results.

Time in this way can become a burden if it isn’t embraced for what it is.

5. Life is a brief experience- Live in the moment

Recognizing that life is actually rather brief can help us undergo a major transformation. We might not stress quite so much about a particular buzz, what’s trending on social media, an email, an offer from a nearby restaurant- all on different apps. We will discipline ourselves, easier. We might find ourselves taking time to take a pause, focus on our pulse, decode communications from the nature, find peace in the sound of water and appreciate the time we have.

6. Avoidance- a powerful act to weaken distractions

If you practice avoidance, you are a master of attention. After you have read this, practice it dedicatedly. You can thank me later. Ultimately, all choices will result in tradeoffs of some kind.

We simply cannot have it all. And that should be OK. For example, you cannot experience urban city life while staying in the countryside. We must be strong and intelligent enough to make choices. Thus, avoidance leads to the acceptance that in turn liberates you from any distraction.

7. Your life is a result of the attention you have invested

When you’re distracted, you’re not choosing where you want to pay attention. And that’s important because where you pay attention is ultimately how you spend your life.

If you pay attention to the app notifications or email buzzes or get lost in worries or regrets, your attention will take you where you do not intend to be.

Use your choice of attention diligently. Always prioritize your peace and introspection.

8. You are getting distracted by the attention economy from what is vital for you

Your devices are not only mere sources of distraction. They are defining, what demands your attention. And ultimately, controlling. This is degrading human awareness and smartness.

Algorithms — news or social media — they encourage us to focus on things that aren’t necessarily real, leading to a distorted view of the world.

NOW WHAT MATTERS?

Does investing attention in things beyond our control matter?

Family, kind deeds, nature, empathy, compassion, achieving ambitions, meditation, and mindfulness matter.

(You don’t need to submit to distractions to achieve your dreams constantly! Yeah!)

9. Identify that you are distracted. Do not get used to it.

The challenge is that we all have been slowly coerced to believe and function as if we want to be distracted by several platforms and online services.

The reality is likely very different. We must continually ask ourselves how we want to spend our time and live our lives in line with that.

10. The act of focusing brings us face-to-face with finitude

We consciously live in an illusion that we have time later on to do things we deem important. We are forced to believe that we have less time. The moment we face our limits, our in-built clock appears to us. It’s easier to fall under the illusion that there’s always more time when we’re not facing up to the projects and activities we truly want to do.

11. When does a distraction become uneasy to you?

You are a soul having a bodily experience on the planet. Not otherwise. As long as you are in your cast of body, you’ll never be liberated from humanness.

So when you start feeling uneasy, heavy in the brain and eyes, mind draining, almost lifeless, it is the soul that is undergoing damage. It is because you are connected to things that you do not relate to, as this comes from awareness and connections from the soul. You do not reciprocate to excitements or joy moments because your soul is unable to refill. Distractions do so much drain and damage.

Instead, it’s better to practice discipline and avoidance before reaching such a stage where revival becomes scarce for survival. (again).

12. Distractions can never be planned- Because they do not allow you to rest

No amount of planning can ever make you pull off distractions smoothly. They take you where you do not belong and keep you away from your purposes.

Rest from doing is essential. In a world that values hustle, doing more and achievements, the idea of embracing rest or a disconnect and idleness can be foreign to us.

But rest is ultimately what helps us to see our lives for what they are, to appreciate the present moment, and to actually live.

It’s a wrap readers….

According to the Swiss literary scholar Yves Citton, attention carries a lot of worth and value. By giving your attention to any subject or thing, you make it interesting. So you need to be in solitude, where and how to invest attention, and that does not result in distraction.

Your feedback will help the article reach the wider audience most aptly.