Gisèle Pelicot: Shifting Shame, Reclaiming Power

Imagine waking up one day to find out that for nearly a decade, your body and your life had been violated in ways so cruel and unimaginable, all within the supposed sanctuary of your own bed. This is the heartbreaking reality that Gisèle Pelicot, a 72-year old woman from a quiet village in the south of France, had to face. For years, her husband drugged her, allowing over 50 men to violate her without her knowledge, while he filmed it all.

Shame must change sides. Gisèle has chosen to strip away her anonymity and fight; not just for herself but for all survivors of abuse. In September, she walked into court with her head held high, determined to shift the shame from the victim to where it truly belongs: the abusers. Her horrifying story is not only one of personal survival but also a clarion call for us to change how we view and treat victims of sexual violence. Her decision to show the world the horrific details of her abuse, rather than hiding behind the shadows of shame, is a bold step that forces us all to confront the uncomfortable truth: these acts are not carried out by faceless monsters, but by people we know, people we trust, people who live in our homes.??

Her story, shocking as it is, is just one among countless others happening around the world. This isn’t just her fight, it’s ours too. Gisèle’s courage exposes a deeply uncomfortable truth: society too often shifts the focus onto victims instead of holding perpetrators accountable. Instead of asking why someone chose to violate another, the first instinct is to question the survivor: Why were they there? What were they wearing? Did they fight back? But, in Gisèle’s case; and in every case of abuse; there is only one question that truly matters: Why did the abuser believe they had the right to commit such acts?

If we are to build a society that is truly safe and equitable for women and girls, and actively penalises abuse, it’s critical that we shift the conversation. Instead of casting doubt on those brave enough to come forward, we must confront the deep-seated attitudes and cultural narratives that allow perpetrators to hide in plain sight.

A pivotal shift in our understanding of sexual violence must begin with how the media frames these stories. For far too long, coverage has revolved around the survivor's trauma while sidestepping the real issue: the abuser’s actions. This focus not only diminishes the gravity of the crime but risks shifting the blame onto the survivor, rather than addressing the core violation of consent at the heart of these acts.?

Consent is not just a legal or moral principle; it is a basic human right, yet it remains deeply misunderstood, particularly when we examine how sexual violence is often portrayed in the media. The focus should not be on why the survivor did or didn’t act in a certain way, but rather why the perpetrator believed they could violate another human being’s consent in the first place.

In Gisèle’s case, the media shifted the lens towards the fact that the abuse she suffered occurred within a trusted relationship; her own marriage. This challenged the cultural stereotype of the “monster” rapist, lurking in the shadows or preying on strangers and instead revealed a far more insidious reality: sexual violence happens in homes, in marriages, in relationships built on trust. Many of the men accused in Gisèle’s case were family men, respected members of society and other ordinary men we meet everyday. Monsters hiding in plain sight. The media’s focus on the abuse Gisèle suffered exposed the chilling reality that sexual violence can happen in the most intimate of spaces, where consent is most often taken for granted.

However, despite the increased focus on the perpetrators, the media still has a long way to go in how it frames these cases. Too often, the story centres on the victim, their identity, their trauma, their image; creating the impression that they are the ones on trial.This kind of coverage can re-traumatise survivors and perpetuate harmful cultural patterns of victim-blaming.?

The media holds tremendous power in shaping societal norms, and it must use that power to put an end to harmful stereotypes and challenge the cultural narratives that allow sexual violence to persist. If the media can shift its focus, it can help create a safer, more accountable world. In doing so, the media can play a pivotal role in dismantling the dangerous belief that consent is personal and inviolable. It can help create a culture where survivors are supported, perpetrators held accountable, and consent always respected.