#Girls-Who-Cook: Why women empowerment must INCLUDE all women; NOT create NEW STEREOTYPES

There is this archetypal image of an empowered woman that has risen from the ashes...

• The suit-wearing career woman... who considers her education wasted if she spends time home cooking for her family, instead of going to office
• The child-bearing super-mom...who must get back to both shape and work within few weeks of the child having appeared
• The biker, the trekker...
• The one with brains
• The one with tattoos...
• The one who codes..

The...

• Have-it-all...
• Do-it-all...
• Bare-it-all...
• Know-it-all...

Now.. if you are thinking that I am about to criticize these types...

I am not going to criticize them.

(How can I? I am most likely one of the archetypes.. more than any one of 'other type')

The other type...

• The non-career types..
• The stay-at-home, do-the-laundry type..
• The non-adventurous type..
• The one who likes pink type..
• The one who puts on make-up type..
• The blonde type
• The one who is not ambitous..
• The one who cooks..

Now... if are thinking that I am about to endorse these types...

I am not going to endorse them.

Do they need an endorsement? In today's rhetoric of women empowerment, they probably do.

Because we have made

empowerment about

WHAT

choices women make..

not

WHY

they choose what they choose

And it is because of this approach, that empowerment has come be represented by certain 'type' of women, based on WHAT choices they made.

There is an inherent and dangerous flaw in that rationale.

And here is where I think we are going wrong.

#1) Empowerment is about CHOICE not STRENGTH

Every once is a while I see these FB and Whatsapp group face-offs between:

Working mothers justifying how hard they work, how great a role-model they are to their kids (perhaps implied - as opposed to the stay-at-home mother); and so what they miss parent-teacher meetings..

And...

Stay-at-home mothers justifying their value by scoffing at the working woman being negligent about their kids.

To me as a neutral observer (belonging to neither side), honestly it appears... (if I were to be honest about my feeling)... pitiful.

If you feel the need to justify your most fundamental life choices..

(and by putting someone else down)

Then irrespective of the choice you made..

You are not an empowered human.

You are not a person who is at ease with her own choices. Most likely, you haven't paused to question your choices and taken them consciously after considering all options...

Because the one who has made a really conscious choice, will be at peace with her choices.

If someone is a "strong woman"..

Good.

But that is no indication of whether she is empowered.

Empowerment comes from making ones life choices consciously and

being at peace with it

Earlier, I used the phrase "empowered human", which brings me to the second point, about what we are doing wrong.

#1) Empowerment is a HUMAN PURSUIT not a GENDER WAR

My biggest discomfort with this whole women empowerment rhetoric is that on most occasions it is pitted against men.

• Conquering the male bastion
• Stand shoulder to shoulder with men

Don't get me wrong.There are some wonderful women out there becoming CEOs, soldiers, comedians, technocrats, producers. And no, it is not easy for them.

My problem is not with

women trying to be equal to men.

My problem is with

not questioning if

becoming equal to men

is good enough.

Are men themselves empowered enough, to serve as a worthy benchmark of empowerment for women?

Tell me what sells more than "women empowerment and diversity" literature?

Self-help, spirituality.

The entire human race is dis-empowered today, when it comes to living life as a result of making conscious choices.

The overwhelming amount of literature on "rat race", "set yourself free from corporate slavery", "life your life".... is nothing but a cry for the need of empowerment...

...of both men and women.

Hence, if women want to become empowered, and take charge of their lives..

They need to seek empowerment

as a goal that

stands on its own.

For as long as empowerment

is relative to anything..

empowerment will never be complete.

Finally,

#1- Let us make no mistake that there is a genuine, urgent and serious need to fix disparities that have historically limited the choices women had. The struggle has just about begun and far from over

#2- Having said that, opportunities do not guarantee empowerment (had that been the case, men would be living lives of conscious choices)

Opportunities merely

increase the available choices.

Empowerment is about

MAKING conscious choices

in whatever choice that is available.

Knowing that difference is critical to understanding that true empowerment does not begin and definitely does not end with more opportunities.

#3 - All girls, apart from being educated, need to be coached to...

• Make their life choices and live by it without..

...crying for societal acceptance (there never has been or will be a world where there is perfect acceptance of every life choice), seeking to justify or feeling the need to pull someone down.

• Realize that..

empowerment is what you generate from within

NOT

something that gets bestowed upon you from outside

• Know that..

neither pink nail paint nor a bike

is a sign of empowerment.

It is WHY you chose the nail paint or the bike

• Live in peace

with the awareness that when it is an outcome of a conscious life-decision..

#Girls-who-cook are just as cool as #Girls-who-code

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(Disclaimer: No part of this blog maybe copied or reproduced or reused or republished in any way, except using the share feature of LinkedIn. Any other form of reuse, must be only after explicit written consent of the author.)

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Swati is a writer and entrepreneur. She has been listed on the LinkedIn Top Voices 2017.

While she writes on a wide variety of subjects, her favorite topics are leadership, life & purpose, artificial intelligence and education.

Swati is the author of a unique book on entrepreneurship, called:

The Entrepreneur’s Soulbook — Is it your cup of tea? Link to the book

She runs her own venture, the GhostWritersWorld (LinkedIn Page)/(website)

Connect with her on Twitter @swatcat_sj

Her other LinkedIn articles are here.

Some of her favorite ones are..

Technology & product

1. “If Robots will do everything, what will humans do”: Why AI Rhetoric deeply worries me
2. “Justice delayed is justice denied”: Could AI and Data Science be the answer to India’s judicial backlog?
3. Flirt with your product ideas, don’t fall in love
4. LOL … driverless cars for India??: When AI meets Cows, Rajinikanth and Ganpati
5. Love in the time of Artificial Intelligence: Valentine’s Day 2030
6. “Who pays the price?”: Why PRODUCT INNOVATION without SERVICE EXCELLENCE hurts customers — the ETHICS of product innovation

Leadership and Organization

1. “If you are nothing without the suit, you don’t deserve it”: 3 cardinal tests for anyone who calls himself leader
2. 3 unforgettable lessons I learnt from an Indian Ed Tech Leader
3. “Oh! You are sensitive”: Why sensitive is a TABOO word — and LEADERS should consciously HIRE such people in teams
4. “I love solving problems”: The BIG problem with problem solving
5. “So why are you leaving?”: Don’t treat retention discussions like a ONE TIME date
6. Sophisticated-fear-based-management: 3 unmistakable signs
7. Interns or cheap labor? Making internship count
8. “Travis may be Uber, but Uber cannot be Travis: The curious case of Charismatic leaders”

Diversity and Inclusion

1. "Not just a pretty face": Why beauty needs to be justified
2. Not FEMALE bodies, we need FEMININE minds: The missing link in organizational diversity
3. “Women can’t code because of Biology: 3 reasons it was a BIG MISTAKE for google to fire James Damore (perspectives of a feminist)
4. 3 taboo questions Millennials are asking, leaving hiring managers shocked
5. Why the ‘Corporate-style Women’s Day Celebrations’ gives me the creeps
6. The OOUCH of maternity leaves: Why managers secretly dread it
7. Man or Woman? Who should lead gender diversity? Why we are simply asking the WRONG question.
8. “She has good figure”: Why creating a safe place to work takes much more than just sexual harrassment policy

Life & purpose

1.”But I have bills to pay..”: Why the PREMISE we build our life on, DECIDES how far we will go..

2. “How is life? Well, going on.”: Why you should NOT quit your job, but GRADUATE from it

3.The Monkey Catcher’s Lesson: Why we get stuck in our jobs, situations, emotions..

4. “Anger is remembered pain”: 3 steps to healing from difficult experiences at workplace

5. “How is life? Well, going on..”: Why you should NOT quit your job, but GRADUATE from it

6. A “50-over-50” list: Pressures of adults “growing up” in a world of over-achieving youngsters

7. The (difficult) art of doing nothing and why it matters in a world proud of “busy”

8. 500 Uber rides without driver talking on the phone: My personal starfish story

9. “Here is a muffin that will make you successful”: The unspoken truth about success

10. 5 reasons we should “stop fighting” for a cause

11. “You are hiding something”: 4 reasons we find it difficult to trust those we love

12. “Pick your battles”: Fine, but how?

Education

1. The Yin and Yang of Ed-Tech: Will schools even survive the next 10 years?
2. Why we “grown-ups” are the biggest reason the education system must change urgently
3. “No chair for teacher”: Is it time we do away with this regressive and myopic policies