The girl who said "no"

I’m trying a little something different here: sharing some of the behind-the-scenes story of a recent trip to Nepal. I hope it helps you feel, more viscerally, the huge difference that your dollars, even at relatively small amounts, can make in a girl’s life.?

To set the scene: We’re in a very rural area of Nepal, far from Kathmandu, and in a village that isn’t in the Lonely Planet guide we’ve downloaded for the trip. With us are two program advisors from our sister organization, the Girls First Fund, Shruiti and Nirmala. Both are Nepalese women who manage the relationships with local grantees in Nepal for VOW for Girls and the Girls First Fund, often traveling great distances to reach a particular community.?

We travel deep into the countryside before arriving at a colorful school campus dotted with bright orange buildings. Students come out to greet us, and to perform some demonstrations they’ve prepared —?a beautiful traditional dance, for example, and a showcase of their self-defense skills, which they learned in the girls’ club that is partially funded by VOW for Girls and the Girls First Fund.

These clubs are happening across Nepal, and provide girls with a safe space to gather, to learn, and to discuss challenges they are facing. The curriculum is wide: life skills, finance, sexual and reproductive health education, self-defense, skill building, and more. Along the way, girls get educated about their rights, so they’ll know what to do if they believe their rights are being violated.?

Which brings us to Manisha.?

We’re inside now, sitting in a circle on the ground with around a dozen girls.?

?We ask what their experiences with the girls’ club have been like, and what difference the club has made for them. . And one girl, let’s call her Manisha, raises her hand, and says, softly, “I’m not married right now because of this program.”?

The energy in the room shifts. We all lean in, listening carefully as Shruti and Nirmala translate.??

Manisha?goes on to explain that during her first year of participating in the girls’ club, when she was 14 years old, her parents told her that it was time for her to marry. But she wanted to finish school, and had no interest in becoming a bride. “Because of what I learned in the girls club,” she tells us, “I knew my rights?—?I knew I didn’t have to get married.”?

Because of the girls club, Manisha knew that child marriage was illegal in Nepal. And she knew that she didn’t want to get married – she wanted to stay in school.

What this young girl said next has deeply stuck with me in the months since. When she protested, her parents were adamant that it was time for her to become a bride. But Manisha was persistent. “I told my parents, ‘If you do this to me, I’m going to the police.’”?

I can’t imagine the kind of bravery it takes for a girl like Manisha to not only say no, but to say no so forcefully — to buck the norm and break the status quo when so many others in your community are doing that very thing.? I’m certainly not sure I could have done the same thing, at her age, or in her circumstances.?

Manisha’s parents were swayed by her strong advocacy, and today, at 16, she’s still in school, and still in the girls club. She’s focused on the future — and it’s a future that she is choosing for herself.?

Manisha’s story of her future being threatened is sadly not unique – the same thing will happen to 12 million girls this year. But her story of avoiding a marriage she did not choose is not wholly unique, either. We consistently hear from grantee partners that when girls’ futures are threatened, “girls are saying no in ways they never have before in this community.” That’s how the end to child marriage will come. One girl, one “no,” one family, and one community at a time, until those individual stories create a wave of change, and girls everywhere are able to do exactly what they should be doing: making their own fundamental choices about their lives.?

Weeks later, I’m still thinking about Manisha and the millions of girls just like her whose futures will be threatened this year. The dollars that donors entrust to us to invest in local communities like Manisha’s? are links in a powerful chain —?a chain that carries much-needed funding into some of the world’s most hard-to-reach places, where they get turned into programs that change girls’ lives.?

Thanks for going on this “trip” with me, and let me end here by sharing: Your donation of just $154 can support a girl to participate in a girls club for a year. $1,541 can help a community establish, run, and maintain a girls club for one year.?

Together, we can help more girls buck the norm, and rewrite the narrative of what’s possible.

Photos all courtesy of the incredible Sasithon Photography, who joined us on this trip.