A Girl & A Broken Dream...

It’s almost 8 days back, a girl in my town had decided to leave this world and committed suicide. She was only 19 years old. Only daughter of her parents. Both of them are govt employee. The girl herself was a very good student and secured more than 90% marks in both 10th and 12th standard exam of ICSE board. Her main aim was to become a doctor. She sat in entrance exam but couldn’t find herself in merit list. She decided to try another time with better preparation. While other friends took admission in different institutions for further studies, she had chosen to stay back at home to prepare herself without any distraction. She was so confident about own abilities that her parents also supported her view of intense preparation.

By nature she was very friendly, amicable and careful. She had a group of close friends. Their bonding was so strong, they used to deal like family members with each other. Be it fun, picnic or panic situation, they used to stand beside each other with farm authority and without any hidden intention. As a good sensitive human being, her such decision of self destruction left everyone shocked. Other friends and their guardians can’t even believe that a girl like her can do such thing.

Here arises some factors which everyone should care for. Just imagine the mental state of her parents who lost their only child untimely and that too without any legitimate cause. They never had any clue about what their daughter was thinking and planning!! So unlucky they’re!! I could relate their sorrow as I’m also a father of only daughter. Here arises a lot of issues which may shake your thought process as well.

1.     Lack of proper future planning. It’s not like a single track thinking. Planning needs a huge experience and consideration. Was this decision of taking another chance made by the kid or their parents?

2.     Getting out of regular touch with childhood companions may give birth some kind of insecurity and loneliness in the girl’s mind. She might be in a dilemma if the second attempt would end in failure again, how she will cope with new friends! What her friends would be saying! A typical social anxiety disorder. Did she or her parents talked with other friends and their guardians?

3.     Being trapped in self imposed isolation was the girl experiencing internal loneliness and subsequent frustration?

4.     Was there serious communication gap in parenting?

I want to observe the case study as overall parenting failure. Kids are always less experienced. It’s the first and foremost duty of parents to converse with kids in detail taking every possible outcome in consideration. It’s a case of failure in goal setting, objective building, life ideology and obviously purpose of existence on this earth.

Had a long and detailed conversation with the couple. They are in deep grief and at the same time they are repenting or not maintaining the emotional attachment with their kid in deep level. They wanted to let their kid grow freely. No harm in it. At least now a days all parents believe in freedom of thoughts. But the point to ponder is maturity. Adolescences and late teen ages are very much like sentimental phases. Due to hormonal change in anatomy a lot of chemical shuffling occurs in brain and that affects thought process and behavior to a significant extent.

As parents, our duty is to keep a good track of kid’s habit, choices, resistances and expressions on regular basis. As mood swing is very common during this age, checklist of likes and dislikes alters frequently. Monitoring is required not for any disciplinary action but to make sure that the kid is living in healthy state of mind. In this point most of the parents make mistake and eventually make a psychological distance with the kid. On the other hand kids of this age group have mixed feelings in their mind. They can feel the growth but very often overlook their empty bag of experience. Parents remain busy with profession, social life and other activities and kids remain busy with friends, fun, parties and other colourful essence of life. Now a days addiction to social media and self announcement for other’s approval increases the social competition to a great extent. Kids and early adults genuinely have very little idea about struggle of life. Material attraction becomes obsession for many boys and girls. Parents should play an important role of sheet anchor who can strengthen the base of kid’s life with their own experience, life lessons and help kid in decision making. In some cases parents may take help from teachers, trainers, coaches and counselors.

My observation on overall scenario is however busy we’re , as parents, we should relate to kid’s thinking patterns regularly. It’s our duty to rectify if there is any derailment. Train kids to be a good human being with proper education. Raise kids in such a pattern that there will be no benchmark of success. Be competent and success will follow. We shouldn’t impose any of our untouched parameters as their dream target. It’ll definitely increase their anxiety of being outnumbered from social competition. Whenever kids will face adverse situation, they’ll start to feel like losers and out of frustration they can take any sort of foolish step which can leave their dream unfinished.

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