The gifts you can give your people as a leader.

Kim-Adele Randall is a leading coach helping C-suite executives create better organisations for their people. Yet her journey to achieving that role has been, as the song says, a 'Long and Winding Road'.?

As a businesswoman, an employee, a leader, and a mum, she has learnt many lessons that have been passed on to her coaching clients. I was privileged to talk to Kim recently about her journey and some of her impactful leadership lessons. Read on for some terrific insights into how to lead people in the most selfless, inspiring way.

Kim's background

Before we get to Kim's leadership nuggets, giving you some information about her history would be helpful. After all, she didn't just become an executive coach. When she was sixteen, Kim left school to do the one thing she always wanted to do: be a hairdresser.

By 19, she was running her own business. But at 22, she faced her most significant challenge to date. She lost feeling in her hands and legs. After being tested, she was found allergic to perm lotion, an ever-present solution in any hairdressing salon. Kim had no choice; she had to give up the business and she sold it to one of her staff.

Suddenly she went from ambitions of running a leading salon to needing a job to earn money. She took what she could get – a part-time role as a cashier in a local bank. It proved the gateway to a new career in financial services.?

She made it to branch manager, moved into IT, came back into banking, and secured her first director role in her early thirties. Her rise and openness to opportunity were impressive – a crucial reason for her career success. But, while on the surface, all seemed marvellous, inside, Kim was struggling: "I had extreme impostor syndrome. I was convinced one day they would all realise I'm just a hairdresser."

She talks of the terrible voice in her head, bringing her down. She worked hard to break through this limiting belief. And she found a way.

Defeating impostor syndrome

Kim realised that even our most revered heroes suffered from impostor syndrome.

She quotes Einstein: "He once said, 'The esteem with which my works are held leaves me feeling like an unlikely swindler.' That helps. It made me feel less of a lunatic!"

It was becoming a mother that really opened Kim's eyes to what was real. She had a life-threatening illness and decided to write her baby daughter a letter in case the worst happened. As she walked into her baby's room, seeing her there fast asleep, a realisation hit her: "I suddenly thought the voice we use to talk about ourselves becomes the voice we teach our children to use when talking to themselves." At that moment, Kim decided to do everything in her power to ensure the voice she passed on to her daughter was not the one she had spent years fighting in her head.

Kim spent the next few years analysing in depth what was triggering her critical self-talk. She had another breakthrough: "I inadvertently made my opinion more important than anybody else's. That may sound counter-intuitive. But in fact, that is what I was doing."

She clarifies: "If someone gives you a compliment or an opportunity, your voice says, 'If only they knew I'm not very good at this.' Your opinion is, 'I'm not worthy', which trumps their high opinion of you. At that point, I learnt to borrow their belief. If someone gives me an opportunity, and I trust and respect them, I know it's because they believe in me."

The realisation was a turning point in the negative mindset that could have eventually sabotaged Kim's potential.

Lending our belief to others

Kim sees these opportunities to lend our beliefs to another person as 'one of a leader's greatest gifts.' The difference it can make to people around you can be life-changing.

She recalls a memorable day as a sales leader, working in a business struggling to hit target on the final day of a sales period. Failure would mean the whole company missing its number.

At the start of the day, she told the team: "If there is any good karma in the world, this team will achieve this goal." The team consistently showed up every day, put their customers first, and did not give in to pressure; this was the team that could do it. The outcome? "We had the most amazing day. We annihilated the target. Seeing the team take my belief and turn it into outstanding performance was one of the best days of my working life."

There was a demonstration of the difference a leader can make by acknowledging their people and lending them belief.?

Listening is THE leadership skill

Building belief in people comes from listening to them. Most leaders say they are good listeners. The reality is often different. And leaders need to listen more than anyone.

It is vital to be present – it creates the most powerful listening. As humans, we have a problem with that – it's easier to talk than listen. But it is an area Kim has worked hard to develop: "I used to think, if there was silence, I had to fill it. I've now learnt to give people the silence so they have the opportunity to think. That also encourages respect."

Improving feedback delivery

Kim has a particular way of giving feedback to remove the defensive responses the recipient often provides. "People have positive intentions", she says. The challenge begins when we give them feedback. They naturally defend their intention because they don't want us to think they were trying to do something wrong or less than their best.?

The new approach defuses the situation before the other person is triggered. Kim explains: "I start by saying: 'What I think you're trying to achieve is…' I focus on being clear on their intention. From there, I can show how their impact has not matched their intention."

Once that realisation is reached, manager and colleague can work together to achieve their goal. “My job as a coach (and that of a manager) is to help people get out of their own way to achieve their own goals. This approach makes it easier to do that.”

Kim points out that coaches are less good than those they are coaching. Their job is to find small ways to improve: "Actors, sportspeople, they have coaches because they can shine a light on their blind spots. That's what we are doing in our businesses."

How do you motivate yourself?

Kim loves a quote: "I pick a quote every morning and choose my mindset.” Kim has always maintained a positive face, no matter her adversity. She says: "When things are overwhelming, we spiral into worrying about the things we can't control. So, I focus on what I can do 'right now'"

She delivers a fascinating insight – 'every step you take, you change your vantage point.' She quotes Michael Jordan, who said: "You don't need to see the whole staircase; you just need to take the next step." It has been Kim's motto throughout her life.

How does one step align with a bigger vision?

It is essential to know the final destination. How you get there will likely change because life gets in the way. But the end goal is everything.

When a stumbling block arises, Kim asks the team, 'What are our options?'

We're back to taking one step.

As the Chinese philosopher Lao Tzu famously said: "A journey of a thousand miles starts with but one step." She keeps her team moving forward – each step gets them closer to the goal.?

One of the most essential leadership skills needed to build engagement with a vision is to tell compelling stories. People need an understanding of where you are going and why it's important.

Once that’s in place, Kim provides a perfect metaphor to illustrate why leaders must get out of the way: "Imagine you cast Helen Mirren in a film you're directing. You will not tell her how to bring her character to life. You will let her do what she does best. She'll find the way. It's the same with your team." It is the reason we employ people in the first place. If you give them the freedom to thrive, they will pay you back in spades.

Kim's turning point moment

The answer was definitive – being a mum. "I've learnt more about leadership as a mum than anywhere else. If you've had a child learning to walk, you'll remember standing in front of her, telling her she can do it.

We cheer our children on. Yet we forget to do the same with adults. Imagine our power to help others if we cheered them on."

Kindness and leadership

There are three elements to leading with kindness:

1. Kindness itself
2. Courage
3. Humanity

Put all three together, and you have the makings of an extraordinary leader who can create powerful teams. Kim shows how these characteristics come into play by using an example when managing a redundancy programme.

"I felt guilty because I felt I got us into that position. I decided to make the message about me. You make it clear that redundancy is not about those people. It is, of course, happening to them, but it's not their fault. They could do nothing about it. They weren't bad employees.?

I had to find a way to deliver the message with kindness and empathy. I started by saying, 'I'm really sorry'. I explained they were here because I couldn't turn things around. I told them I would love to have them back if I could start to grow again."

Here was a display of those three characteristics. It showed courage to take ownership of the highly challenging situation that affected many people. It displayed humanity to offer people a way back in the future and to recognise they had no part in the company's downfall. And there was genuine kindness in the approach and words used.

"I felt it was crucial to give them the confidence and belief to enter their next role with the right mindset."

See your team as customers

Kim urges leaders to see their people as customers. They will only want to work for you if they like your approach. She offers this advice: "Ask yourself how you would want your partner, mother, father, brother, or sister to be treated in their job. Then do your best to create that for your people."

Kim lives and breathes an empathic style of leadership. She recognises leaders are nothing without their people. Therefore, they are responsible for giving those people as much belief, empowerment, and opportunity to improve as possible. And vitally, a vision and purpose that makes them want to come to work every day. That is undoubtedly something all leaders will want to achieve.

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You can find out more about Kim via her website Authentic Achievements or connect with her on LinkedIn.

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