Gifts for the parent/ caregiver in the hospital

Throughout the past 20 years of my life I have been caring for and supporting my younger brother through his journey of living with Cystic Fibrosis and surviving two double lung transplants. As you might imagine, such a journey includes several months spent in the hospitals. Over the past 20 years, I have shared meaningful connections with several other siblings and parents to the extent that I now support families through my personal e-mail and provide them with the advice that they might be seeking for. Just yesterday, a parent asked which gifts she should give to a cousin who's newborn daughter will be having heart surgery and spending the next 2 months recovering in the hospital. Being a caretaker is not an easy position to be in, but sometimes small gifts can make an incredible difference in your own ability to find a sense of calm and be a better caretaker.

So, here I have gathered my top 3 gifts for parents/caretakers who are spending the next few months in the hospital. All of my reasoning behind the gifts is very personal and stems from real life experiences of 2,000+ days spent in the hospital by my brother's side.

A rose or meaningful symbol

One of the greatest gifts that my mom ever received was a single rose from a parent who told her "it's going to be okay, this was meant to be for a greater reason". To this day, when my mom sees roses, her entire disposition shifts and she calms immediately. I personally think that one of the most beautiful gifts you can give to someone going through a particularly difficult time is a symbol that might appear throughout their life to serve as a reminder that everything will be okay. 

A soft blanket 

I know that I always appreciated having a very soft blanket with me for nights when I needed to sleep in the hospital. The hospital blankets are not especially soft. Having my own blanket made a huge difference in the quality of my sleep. On nights that were particularly stressful, I would self-regulate and find a sense of calm by focusing my attention on the softness of the blanket.

Gift cards to nearby restaurants

At first, as a caregiver, you may experience a sense of guilt/panic for leaving the side of your loved one, but you deserve to live your life and indulge in the small joys of eating delicious foods. Taking care of yourself with nutrient dense meals is especially important at this time. I saw my own dad quickly lose more than 20 pounds in the first 3 months of my brother being placed on the double lung transplant list. I myself had lost 10 pounds too. None of us seemed to notice that we weren't eating as often, and very quickly my entire family was losing weight from not having access to enough food. My dad would sometimes go out to grocery stores to buy our new staple foods; oranges, apples, nuts and bananas. Most hospitals have a public kitchen and a common fridge in which you can label all of your own foods. But not having your own space to make regular meals was a major adjustment for our family and we suffered gravely for it.

From the life experience that I have gathered so far, these gifts have become my top 3 choices. Of course; pyjamas, games, books, socks, and a collections of travel size shampoo, conditioner, and body wash all come in especially handy too. The gifts I have listed are the ones that honestly made the biggest difference. I think our family learned to appreciate gifts in a way that is much different from the average person. Gifts became things that we truly held onto. They were symbols that we had support and that we weren't alone in our care. please consider giving a gift to someone who you know is going through a difficult time. I can promise you that your gift will be appreciated and may in some small way be treasured as a symbol of hope.