Gifts from Three Wise Men

I’m getting ready for a trip to Hyderabad, India. I’ll be attending the wedding for the daughter of my friend Vijay.

Vijay was one of my managers when I worked at American Express. We were hired the same week. My direct manager was Gerald, who reported to Vijay.

It was my first job out of business school. Looking back, I know how fortunate I was to work with these men and others who were part of our larger team.

Speak up -- Early when I was in meetings, I didn’t contribute. I thought It was disrespectful to speak up since I was the most junior person in the room. After the meetings, I would share with Vijay my thoughts, insights and suggestions. After I had done this a few times, he told me to bring up my thoughts in the meeting rather than holding them until after the meeting. Once I received this direction or permission, I spoke up in meetings and everything changed. I got comfortable with my voice in a meetings, and everyone got comfortable with me. We accomplished a lot together.

Respect -- Once I learned the lay of the land at American Express, I deduced that I was as capable or more capable than others with higher positions than me. I let Gerald know that I should be promoted to a manager. I argued that I’d get more respect with the title and be able to accomplish more. He told me that I needed to act like a manager, assert my ideas and push for getting things done. He said level of title didn’t equate to level of respect. While it felt uncomfortable at first to challenge and push those senior to me, knowing Gerald had my back gave me the confidence to it.

Boil it down -- Sometimes I needed to stand in for Gerald or Vijay and give our vice president, Tony an update. The first time this happened, I gave him pages of detailed updates. He said to me “I know your role is to be in the details but I need you summarize this for me in the future. Tell me what’s important, what I really need to know.” Tony had a big job, and I was intimidated by him. The last thing I wanted to do was have a conversation with him. But because I had to do it, I did. And by doing it, it became easier. Instead of dread, I looked forward to our conversations.

 Leaders:

?Sometimes less experienced team members need permission or a push to grow. Watch and listen for the cues that your high-potential employees are holding back.

Then give them permission to behave differently, and encourage them.

They will never forget your support.

Plus, who knows? Maybe someday they will travel across the globe to show how much they respect and appreciate you.