Gifts Forged in the Fire

Peculiar. Unexpected. Challenging. Solemn. Character building. 2020 has served up anything but the expected and completely upended all prior planning and intention setting. God laughs whilst we make plans, as the saying goes. Each of us has been tested in countless ways – in our businesses, at home, and most of all, in our sense of purpose. Distress felt most acutely in isolation often brings the greatest clarity. 

The cruelty of the year has undoubtedly been inequitable. Despite the best efforts of leaders to care for their communities, watching how it's devastated those less fortunate has been painful. The aftermath and psychological effects of this moment will be felt long after we rein in the virus. My mentor and friend Paul Makarechian recently said, "This has been the event of our generation." 

Indeed, this year has illuminated an important lesson: it is possible, and often necessary, to hold grief and gratitude in the same hand. 

During the first two months of the pandemic, I found myself careening from crisis to crisis, an exhausting journey that forced me to try to be all things to all people. In doing so, I was doing most things poorly: not prioritizing well, and as a result, not getting results. I was deflated and demoralized. But at that moment, it became clear that we were in it for the long haul. And I needed to make a choice: allow the world to carry me on its currents or be bold and resolve to make 2020 the best year ever, against all odds. In the ashes of COVID were gifts forged in the fire that changed me:

1) We adopted my son Beau in August of 2019. The youngest of our four kids, he completed our family in ways that we prayed about but aren't able to fully comprehend. I always prioritize spending time with my kids, but the entire first year of Beau's life was spent with me at home. It was a precious time that didn't exist during the first year of my three older kids' lives. We all had each other – family dance parties, daddy's margaritas (booze-free for the kids, of course!), hot tub time, and they got to watch me work hard for what I believe in. Every day, they asked about Gen Next and how we were doing. Before COVID, my wife and I constantly thought about helping each kid adapt and feel loved. There's no question that a spring spent in social isolation allowed us to spend time bonding that made the task of giving each kid the personal attention they needed easier through togetherness. My older kids are obsessed with Beau. Growing into the new family that we’ve become while navigating a sharp and sudden change in the world outside of our home revealed all that we had gained in spite of the tremendous loss of this year.

If adoption is something that you're considering, please message me directly. It's something that I cannot encourage enough, and I'm proud to be a resource. It's not always easy or inexpensive, but I want more people to know that it is the blessing of a lifetime for everyone it touches. I will never take this opportunity for granted, and I will live each day trying to be the best dad I can be.

2) But for my business, like so many others, COVID created an unprecedented disruption and crisis in every corner of our operations. The world stopped. Offices closed. We all had to find new ways to do our work … and we had to do it remotely in a business of people, ideas, and community. No crisis planning in the world can prepare you for a shutdown. Our business's very foundation was tested, and each day became a fight to keep our team and community together and honor our mission to ignite generational leadership. The first 60 days were a blur. Still, I remember that our ability to adapt created insight and connection for our community in unmatched ways. We also got bold pursuing new opportunities to reimagine our vision and business model for the long-term. 

As business leaders understand, it's often moments of disruption that yield the greatest innovation, and so we engaged strategic partners to help reimagine our purpose and create a new brand of generational leadership. During a time when our business, candidly, is contracting, it's been scary as hell, and required me to surrender myself to the process and be at peace knowing that while the details of our destination are still being mapped out, we are grounded with a bold commitment to developing a philosophy of change that will outlast even the most challenging times. As I envision the direction Gen Next is going, this poem fills me with purpose and clarity:

Let me look upward

Into the branches of the towering oak

And know that it grew great and strong

Because it grew slowly and well.

Slow me down, Lord,

And inspire me to send my roots deep

Into the soil of life's enduring values

That I may grow toward the stars

Of my greater destiny.

Crisis breeds resilience, and in climbing the mountains toward the tops of those towering oaks, life's greatest lessons can be found. My sense of purpose has been revitalized, and in this moment of crisis, I am who I was meant to be.

3) While it may have felt as though the world was losing its religion, I have rediscovered my faith and soul – and I'm still discovering. I know it would be more politically correct to say I've found my spirituality, but that would be untrue. I was really nervous to be Beau's dad (shoot, all four of the kids!), and I wondered if I would live up to his expectations of me, or if he would love me like the other kids do. All of these emotions are perfectly normal and healthy in the adoption process. In search of steadying calmness, I read the Bible in a year. I'm working on the Qur'an and other religious texts to develop a genuinely fulsome understanding of the beliefs and the philosophies that move our world. As Agnes Callard reminds us, "philosophy cannot benefit those who don't engage in it."

I know I am one of the lucky ones. And knowing that, I leaned into my duty to lead with a mindset of gratitude because I knew my actions and how I moved through the world would impact those around me. I wanted to be sure that the impact was positive. 

The journey toward this kind of self-actualization is a steady process – to grow well, we must grow slowly and deliberately. In this crisis, I've worked to build a personal philosophy that will empower Gen Next to build a leadership brand where the measure of impact is the incremental change in each person we touch. This will create a multiplier effect of awakening our shared sense of duty and ideals worthy of a free society for future generations. Knowing my life's purpose and being fully liberated and unleashed into the world with hyper intentionality has made 2020 a contender for the "best year ever" despite its enormous challenges.

When you become a parent, they tell you that "it takes a village," and certainly that's true, but it also applies to personal and professional growth and self-actualization. As every executive development coach will tell you, you're only as good as the people you surround yourself with, and I've navigated this year's turbulence alongside a team and Members who are relentlessly dedicated, purposeful, and optimistic. Thank you to every one of you for showing me the many ways to get better. 

This time of the year, our kids are thinking about their wishes and hopes for the world, and I'll end with mine: I hope that everybody reading this walks away invigorated and empowered to go deep within oneself and seek out a community of peers and leaders that they can grow with, navigate the challenges of an uncertain world with, and share a sense of duty and purpose with. It is through that journey that we awaken our humanity, and build our legacy.