Gift yourself some ‘Youtori’

I came across this beautiful Japanese word, ‘Youtori’ in an Instagram post on a Sunday evening. The closest single word in English is spaciousness. Having the room to breathe or creating space to allow life to wash over me are other ways I would describe it. Sunday done right can be a day of Youtori.?

As I looked around, I noticed that our new home in Chennai (for a few months) was quiet. Dad was getting some much-needed sleep and Mum found something on Netflix to take her mind on a trip away from worry-land. My wife Deepa was sitting at the dining table enjoying a cool corner of the house and a quiet moment and my sister was in the kitchen cutting apples to make an apple sauce. (She had read somewhere that it makes for a good snack to dress up all kinds of dishes for Dad). In our own way, each of us was making the space to allow ourselves some leeway to be with ourselves.?

I had decided not to go for my evening walk, pushing aside a twinge of guilt that tugged at my midriff. “You deserve a bit of Youtori,” I told myself and immediately felt better with the world. Allowing space for what needs to emerge is a powerful idea. We are so busy with the busyness related to the business of life, that we often miss out on life. The shift from doing mode to being mode does not happen easily. It is one that we have to gift ourselves.?

I have often found this pause button courtesy of a coaching or therapy session, where I stop the merry ground for an hour and go deep within. When I am in nature, I experience Youtori, and sometimes when I write, a leeway to examine what is going on through the observer’s mind blossoms. It is also the place from where balance often emerges.?

In the corporate context, a well-planned and managed offsite can create some Youtori, if the schedule allows enough white space for people to connect. Well-designed workspaces that offer quiet rooms and spaces to recharge (not just phones and laptops but oneself as well) are the ones that focus on employee well-being as a key to productivity and innovation. Research shows that taking short breaks between tasks is one of the most effective ways to restore focus and energy.?

Our Sunday it turns out was one that allowed all of us the space to breathe a little easier after many weeks of much activity. Nothing in particular was accomplished and yet, as we all slowed down, we found something as a family. A house became a home that allowed each of us to breathe a little easier – just for the day.?

In the afternoon when everyone was resting my sister and I went out to a foot reflexology place. We allowed our feet some space and leeway to relax and they too seem stronger and ready to walk forward into another week rejuvenated.?

Every instrument plays its best music when it has been tuned right. Balance and harmony go hand in hand. For me, I was reminded that I was not in tune, my balance was off and a Sunday spent in service of youtori seems to have reenergised me. The relentless pursuit of doing more and being more is best served by taking some well-thought-through breaks and creating the space for this pursuit of nothing. Simply put some guilt-free ‘you-time’ is the perfect recipe for Youtori.?

Not a new thought and not just the preserve of the Japanese. I came across this paragraph by Jiddu Krishnamurti that brings this idea alive to me. “It is very important to go out alone, to sit under a tree, not with a book, not with a companion, but by yourself and observe the falling of a leaf, hear the lapping of the water, the fishermen’s song, watch the flight of a bird, and of your own thoughts as they chase each other across the space of your mind. If you are able to be alone and watch these things, then you will discover extraordinary riches which can never be destroyed.” May we all learn to live alone together.

Article originally published in Reputation Today on March 11, 2025 as part of my weekly column #LeftBrainRightBrain

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