The Gift of Your Time - Making Meaningful Contributions without Making Money

Everyday someone is struggling with something. We are hardwired to seek connection and yet, when we sense someone is having trouble, we hesitate to reach out and to offer help. Nobody wants pity or a handout, generally. However, so many of us are so capable of offering a helping hand without it feeling patronising.

We can cook a meal and deliver it. We can offer to babysit someone's children or drop in for a coffee and a chat. Send good wishes, light a candle and pray, introduce a colleague or a friend who can give sage advice. Listen. Refrain from judgement. Start a group. Get walking and talking. Offer services or time to a community group. Give someone a ride and a bit of moral support on the way to a difficult place or interview or the like.

Recovery is a strange concept to me. It implies that all hurt can be finished, healed up or stitched up, wrapped up in a box tied up with a big bow and a card that reads ' Do not open again. Ever.' I approached PANDA about helping out with women who were experiencing, or at risk of experiencing, PND or Post Natal Psychosis. The response floored me. A long questionnaire, a suggestion that I lead playgroups as a facilitator.

I ask all agencies who recruit and select volunteers to rethink their practices. Knock backs are unnecessarily curt and blunt. They feel like rejection. Sometimes, the myopic gaze across possible volunteers seeks out participants who look just like those already servicing clients, without the insight to see that some clients might benefit from more diversity in the volunteer pool.

When I met with Kate Farrelly of BANsic, I was blown away by her enthusiasm and inclusive practices. She had the foresight to advertise for Community Support Workers and Administration Support via seek and facebook. We chatted and I called a friend and said, " I have found my tribe! Finally! "

In this modern age of a number of groups becoming increasingly self important over their choice of quality volunteers and the growing number of unemployed seeking opportunities to do meaningful and potentially strategic volunteering to boost up their skill set and become known to sectors where they would like paid employment, there is a lot of competition to secure a place. I know this. I have attended group interviews, submitted my CV to a number of groups, been asked to start up at places who then discovered they did not have enough warm leads to justify me starting.

As of tomorrow, I will commence training as a Community Support Worker with CISVIC for six weeks. It is really exciting and nerve wracking for me. Six days I cannot work but six days of professional, accredited training which I do not have to pay for.

Last night I started with a group of three primary school children, tutoring them in writing skills for school. We started with a book of puppy photographs and each child chose one to be their lead character. We moved onto mind mapping the elements of our story and I set a timer for each task. The kids were egged on with Cadbury Roses to start and a packet of chips and a game of bowling as an ending reward. I wrote up six rules for the group to read as individuals and sign their names against.

We will be respectful.

We will bring out thinking caps.

We will try our best.

We will use our best writing.

We will listen to others.

We will be on time.

Ground rules. Boundaries. Respectful relationships. We want children to demonstrate an awareness of these ideas but do we truly embrace these in our own workplaces and homes? Specifically, when it comes to doing something for nothing, do we put our best and honest feet forward when seeking and offering voluntary opportunities?

Working Mums and stay at home Mums have the longest to do lists of any of us on the planet. Might shame the EA of a CEO to know it, but it is true. Plus we carry around a big, fat bag of guilt around not having enough money, enough time with our kids or wanting a little bit of time to ourselves. Just to take a bath, wash our hair properly and, god forbid, take a toilet break on our own.

When I put forward the idea of voluntarily tutoring children from my son's school, I received some very interesting feedback via facebook. Why would I do it for free? ( why not - I had been helping out in my son's classroom for a solid year for nothing - and what really was the difference? ) What did I know about curriculum? ( quite a bit - I am an active parent in my son's journey and I come from a higher ed background so what I did not know, I knew I could learn ) How would I handle parent's expectations and things like NAPLAN testing performance? ( I wouldn't. I chose parents and children who I knew had common sense and little interest in only NAPLAN as a measure of their children's success ) Why did I not promote myself via the school's web or facebook groups? ( This was a trial concept - I did not want to be inundated and I did not expect the school to promote or endorse my burgeoning services )

My point is that there was a lot of doubt in the voices trying to help me. Made me wonder who they were worried about? Me? The kids? The parents? Or was it merely the idea of thinking others needed help and that I might be the best person to provide that assistance?

How often do we stop to look around and see those around us who might need a hand up, rather than a hand out? I noticed that when I was busiest I had a Mum up the road who would check in with my Mum. She had three kids herself and was really busy, but she often picked up or waited with my son when my Mum was delayed at hospital. Once I finished working, I wrote to her and asked what I could do for her. Could I walk her kids to school? Did she want to come over for dinner? Her answers surprised me and taught me a valuable lesson. She was really busy as her sister in law was having a new born and there were no grandparents around town. She was preparing her daughter for the LEAP program tests before high school started. She was grateful for my offers but did not want me to feel obligated. What she said next made the most sense ever.

" I am just happy that when you and your Mum needed help, I could give it. That was lucky for all of us. That's it. "

It really is the classic Good Samaritan mindset. Do what you can do for others. Expect nothing in return. Be good to others. Be grateful for what you have and for what you can share with others. Show your family how to be community minded. Do you do this? Are you happy enough with yourself and your lot in life to look around and split it up with less fortunate folk? Is there a neighbour living an isolated life due to age, illness, or family moving on? Might you have them over for a BBQ or offer to take them grocery shopping.

After my Dad died, I watched his garden shrivel up with a terrible feeling of shame. However, I did not have the six to seven hours a day he would use to hand weed, mow, prune and water. I did my best with an electric mower that, interestingly enough, was gifted to me by another family. Then one day I went out. It was burning hot. Airless. I glanced at the overgrown lawn and thought with dread, " I must attend to that when I get home."

By the time I got home, however, it had been attended to without me lifting a finger. I could not work out when or by whom. I have the best, nosiest neighbour across the road. She soon put me onto what had happened. The son of a family of removalists up the road was not really getting as much work as they would like. So he was sent up and asked to shear our lawns. I really do not understand why. Did the neighbours remember my Dad? Did they feel the same sense of sorrow that I did watching the grass grow vociferously? Were they thinking more of my Mum and knowing she could not do it? Or were they just that kind of Christian family that saw a chance to help out, without wanting a thing in return, just because it was a nice thing to do.

Nice things to do. Got a notepad? Grab it. There might be three things or there might be a dozen. You may want to start with people you know well. You may like to go for the random acts of kindness to strangers. You will feel good and you will feel better about things. No doubt.

It might get your mind ticking to ways to use this new lean to find new ways of working, helping, sharing and doing with others in mind. More the merrier! Join me.