The Gift of Your Presence is Required

We’ve all done it.

Been in a meeting with someone when suddenly our phone vibrates OR the other screen shows a new email we’ve been waiting on, and so forth. And our glance shifts oh so slightly to look at that “other thing.” But even if we think our quick peek was executed imperceptivity or discretely, the person across from us (the one to whom all our attention should be focused) notices. Oh, they notice!

Ever see someone’s happy little expression just crumble? Yep. We caused that reaction.

We were not fully present.

Several years ago, when iPhones started to also have email capability, I remember sitting across from a dear friend who was always a very attentive person. On this one day, she was constantly glancing down at her phone, picking it up, and checking emails. This went on throughout our conversation.

(Had I suddenly become boring, I thought? Hmm. Is it me?!)

But no, the nature of our little chats never changed. We always had a lot to say to each other on a variety of topics and there was never a lull in our conversations at all. But suddenly, this tiny piece of tech was the real focus of her attention, and our engagement was secondary.

As someone in the Talent Solutions field who has interviewed countless candidates for a variety of roles and for too many industries to mention, one always tries hard to fully focus on the person in front of us, whether in person or through zoom. Candidates, God love them, have a story to tell. And we should want to hear it! ?Same with client orgs---they have their own story to share about their opening, their team, their history—and we should want to hear it all. As recruiters, it’s vital that our listening skills are even better than our speaking skills!

In recent years, I started to become more aware of this inattentiveness with some hiring managers during interviews. Some showed up late. Some were distracted by emails or the second screen in front of them.

How did I know about this? Because CANDIDATES TOLD ME!

“Jim seemed like he was so overwhelmed when we spoke!”

“Tom was looking down at his phone during our conversation.”

“Sheila hardly looked at me during the interview…her eyes were darting in other directions. I could see she was really distracted.”

From a recruiter’s mindset, this is the kiss of death. After finding the proverbial “needle in the haystack,” we get our candidate (AKA "The Needle") all excited about meeting a hiring manager of whom we have spoken so highly. “You’re going to love Tom! He’s such a talented person and is a wonderful, empathetic manager!”

And then Hiring Manager Tom drops the ball during the interview by not being fully present.

KER-PLUNK!

The candidate is turned off, thinking if Tom is inattentive during an interview, what is he going to be like as a manager?? It’s a valid question!

For the love of Pete, put your darn iPhone away, shut down that second screen, mute your new email alert sound (or whatever the heck it’s called), and just be:

FULLY. PRESENT.

In the moment. With that precious person in front of you. Who is trying to tell you his / her story. Who is worth your time. Who could be your next superstar.

(Likewise, the same is true for the candidate side. ?If I see them succumb to distractions during my initial meeting, you can be sure they won’t be moving ahead to the next stage of the interview process with my client org.? Everyone must be fully present.)

A great Candidate Experience is paramount. ?In a candidate-driven market when there are more openings than qualified people, it is even more vital that we all put our best foot forward and represent our organizations in the best possible light. Genuinely. Sincerely. Attentively.?

Job hunters are savvy—they know that their interview experience is often reflective of the (potential) employee experience. If we treat folks like they are not worth our full attention during the interview, why would they want to work with us?

Answer: They won't. And while Hiring Manager Tom may feel his sparkling manner and impressive LinkedIn profile will go a long way, the fact that he can't hold simple eye contact during an interview ain't gonna cut it.

This once again harkens back to the Golden Rule of treating others as you want to be treated. We've each been a job seeker on interviews. Do you recall when you wanted to present your story, your talents, your skills to a FULLY ENGAGED hiring manager who was keenly interested and actively listening?

Please remember that moment when interviewing others. It's not optional; it's required of us.