The Gift Of Struggle

"Experience," Julius Caesar once opined, "is the teacher of all things." I'd add that our struggles are the best instructors. And as the Overton Window, the range of ideas the public is willing to consider and accept, continues to expand in terms of race, gender, age, and mental health, understanding the link between personal experience and public viewpoints is an invaluable analytical tool that may carry us all to calmer and kinder shores.

?Experience Can Birth Wisdom in Ourselves and Contempt in Others

?Someone who's dealt with ethnic discrimination every day of their life has a better understanding of how racism corrodes on both micro and macro levels. Someone who has plummeted to the subterranean depths of clinical depression knows that a mental health condition isn't a choice. People with disabilities have a better-than-average grasp of thoughtless civic design that doesn't account for the quotidian realities of their lives.

?Yet when members of these groups speak up about viable solutions, they're often ignored, ridiculed, or shouted down.

?But why?

?As much as we like to think of ourselves as compassionate and understanding, the truth is that it's difficult for humans to "walk a mile in someone else's shoes." We're also prone to self-adulation and see ourselves as kinder and more capable than we are.

?This is known as the "superiority illusion," and it keeps us from slipping into deep states of depression. But it also prevents us from accepting that our viewpoints and opinions may be rooted in topical ignorance. Worse, it may prompt us to trivialize the concerns of people who are different and dismiss them as whiny, rapacious, or "looking for a handout" simply because we've never faced similar challenges and cannot wrap our heads around their experience.

?The Four Levels of Acceptance and Rejection

?As society dwellers, we experience acceptance and rejection on four tiers:

?? Public: How well we "fit in" to our communities profoundly affects our lives and views. People who are warmly embraced and accepted see and experience the world differently than those who are marginalized and rejected.

?? Personal: Internalizing biases — i.e., subconsciously believing negative stereotypes about our own groups — are prevalent among minoritized and marginalized people. It often leads to infighting and self-esteem issues.

? Political: Laws aim to be blind to characteristics like race and gender, but they're written by people and, therefore, inherently marred by blind spots and implicit biases. As a result, prejudices are baked into public policy.

? Psychological: People who experience rejection on public, personal, and political planes must deal with increased psychological stress, which ranges from mild to debilitating. Analyzing challenges from these four vantage points is a more comprehensive approach that can inspire innovative solutions.

The Link Between Prejudice and Discrimination

The mind subconsciously collects thousands of daily cues about the world around us — many of which fly in the face of our volitional belief systems. Nevertheless, they shape our views and inform our actions, weaving discrimination into the fabric of our society and public policy.

Social Media Is an Added Challenge

Social media has exacerbated the problem for some as if our brains weren't unreliable enough. And it all comes down to the feel-good hormone dopamine.

Staying connected to friends and family is a positive aspect of social media. However, phone addiction is an unfortunate byproduct of this. Many people are glued to their devices because they crave the notifications that accompany social media likes, follows, and positive feedback. Every time it happens, we experience a small dopamine rush, and pretty soon, we start craving them.

Moreover, algorithms are programmed to serve us what we want instead of what's good for us. They're not designed to be fair and balanced. As a result, our feeds and screens are increasingly filled with "friendly" content that plucks our emotional chords and opens the dopamine receptors. Essentially, bots are herding us into "filter bubbles," and we're getting worse at being able to listen, digest, and respect the experiences and opinions of people who aren't already part of our sociopolitical milieu.

Forging Equitable Solutions

So, if we're programmed to prefer people who are most like us and our brains trick us into thinking we're right more often than we actually are, how can we forge more equitable paths?

Studies show that recognizing blind spots and acknowledging how they impact behavior exercises our compassion muscles. The more we do these things, the fewer biases and stereotypes we harbor. Spending time with people outside our in-groups also helps.

How can you uncover blind spots? Step one is learning how to accept criticism without becoming hyper-defensive. Recognizing that we may not be as fair, reasonable, and kind as we see ourselves is the first significant hurdle. Once folks clear that challenge, the world starts to look different, and most people can better see bias patterns and systemic inequities that have infected their public policy opinions and relationship choices.

The nation is hovering at an inflection point, and if we stubbornly cling to our vantage points, further progress may prove impossible. Steering the country back to a place where civil debate is possible again will require the counsel and consideration of cooler heads with an appreciation for compromise.