The Gift Of The Sacred Pause

After 30 hours of flying across the Pacific Ocean, my wife and I landed at Heathrow—one of the world’s largest and busiest airports at a quarter to 7 in the morning.

But after picking up our bags, going through customs, and making our way to the car rental some 20 miles from the airport, by the time we finally pulled onto the highway to make the long drive to Poole, a British coastal town in the south of England, it was already 10 am.

But, with the time difference, our bodies thought it was 3 in the morning.

Both of us were feeling tired. And we’d been in such a daze, we did not even grab anything to eat before leaving the terminal, and the water that we had, was quickly draining from the dehydration that comes from flying at such high altitudes.

And to make matters a little worse, I was on the tail end of a cold, and could feel the stress of my fragile immune system on the verge of breaking.

“There’s a rest stop,” Andreanne said as she pointed to a green sign to the left of the highway. “It’s 18 miles away.”

With all the compounding components putting stress on us, both of us were feeling quite relieved to rest for a moment to replenish our water, stretch our legs, and grab a little something to eat.

But fate had other plans.

“Oh no, that was it.” Andreanne said as we watched the little rest stop tucked into the trees roll by us, having missed the hidden exit.

“It’s okay, we’ll just find another place.” We said, both trying to keep a positive outlook.

With Andreanne at the wheel, I picked up the phone to search for a rest stop or restaurant nearby, and that’s when I saw that I only had 13 percent of power left on my phone—the only phone of ours with access to WIFI.

I grabbed my USB cable and placed it in the carport to charge, but, in famous Murphy’s law fashion, the USB port was broken on our rental.

Away from the city and in the sticks, everything I could find online was 40 minutes away, closed till lunch or dinner, or in the opposite direction.

“What about that?” I said as I pointed to what looked like a restaurant sign just off the highway.

Seeing there weren’t too many options, we took a chance. We pulled off the highway, and followed a small country road surrounded by trees. While the scenery was stunning, the lack of cars and people did not make it look like a promising choice.

We drove for about 5 minutes until the little road ended in the parking lot of a National Park.

But despite the grace of the forest, the fatigue, hunger, dehydration, Jet lag, and lack of sleep, and phone just about to die, that’s when the bickering began. Back and forth Andreanne and I threw little comments of irritation back at each other like hot coals.

And we were almost about to drive away with the smoke trailing behind us, when something spoke to me. Perhaps it was the trees standing still beside me, or simply the stillness within me, that spoke ever so clearly.

“Pause,” it said.

Caring this wisdom close, I turned to Andreanne and said, “Okay my love, let’s just pause for five minutes. Because whatever we are doing is not creating anything good.”

On the edge and eager to get going so we can solve our predicament as soon as possible, we’re both a little reluctant to do it, but despite that inner resistance, we closed our eyes and took a moment to breathe in and out. We paused and appreciated the trees around us. By the time we started the car and got back on the road, we were more present, alive, and centered. We went slower, as we drove back the same country road, we were more mindful. We just took our time, and out of this presence, we saw a giant red bird related to the hawk swirling across the open blue sky.

Its majestic flight, with a presence so commanding, we couldn’t help but drive slower just to take it in. Then, as our eyes followed it soaring through the sky, I noticed that it was circling above a large outdoor garden center, and in the corner of my eye, I could see a tiny little sign that said, “We serve tea and food.”

“There, there!” I exclaimed. “It’s a cafe.”

“Are you sure?” Andreanne said perplexed, probably thinking it quite odd to put a cafe in a garden center.

“I am positive. I saw a sign.” And I wasn’t talking about the bird soaring through the sky.

We made a U-turn and went back to the center and crawled down a little grey road into nothing short of an oasis. Trees and flowers were in full bloom. Perennials, herbs, and vines resting in pots filled the car park with green, red, blue, and violet. People walked joyfully with their dogs and grabbed buds to take home to transplant that evening.

When we reached the end of the road, there was a little outdoor cafe with tables that welcomed the sun. A small group of elders sat at one of them, sipping on tea and smiling at us as we came in.

We settled into one of the benches, and as my nervous system settled, I began to feel the fatigue the cortisol had been masking. Wanting to help with the driving, I was tempted to take some caffeine to help me push through it. But, after pausing again and feeling into my body on the edge of a cold, I knew that pushing it any further was not what was needed. So I settled for ginger tea instead.

Then we enjoyed a glass of water, some quiche and salads. I got to plug my phone there as well. We laughed and appreciated the British sun (yes, yes, it was sunny!), chatted with the friendly locals, took a little walk around the greenery, and literally paused and smelled the roses.?

By the time we got back in the car, our water bottles were filled, our bellies were satiated, and my phone battery had charged to 33%, and so were we.?

When we finally arrived at our Airbnb, close to 3 hours later, we both collapsed on our bed to take a nap. But before I closed my eyes to drift off to sleep, I turned to the bedside table, and plugged my phone in to charge. As I did, I noticed that I had only three percent of power left. I laughed to myself thinking that that’s literally how I felt. Then, all thoughts ceased, and I fell into a deep and dreamless sleep.

A few hours later, I rose full of energy and with my phone charged up.

As I reflected on the experience, I couldn’t help but think about what might have happened if we had failed to listen to the wisdom of pausing. Had we continued to push, push, push, which is our cultural norm, my phone probably would have died, we’d have been lost in a foreign country with no navigation, the bickering would have increased, and perhaps the cold I had been fighting, would have won.

But none of that happened. Thanks to the gift of slowing down. This is the wisdom of rest, even for 5 minutes.? But in our hustle culture, we’re trained to keep going, to push through whatevers is in our way.

While there is merit in determination, this idea that we can keep going without stopping, is disconnected from reality, and lacking in wisdom.

It’s common sense that you would not drive a car empty of gas without pausing to refuel, but in our culture, we’re so disconnected from our bodies, we don’t even know we are empty. Masking our fatigue with caffeine and the adrenaline from all we have to do, we keep pushing.

But what’s the cost? Sure we may get a little bit more work done, get a little more checks off our to-do’s, but, in the long run, the cost of not pausing will Always, Always, Always, catch up with us.

Even if we don’t see it in the short term.

So with this in mind, as we move forward with your week ahead, may we remember to take those sacred pauses between the business of activity. Take a nap, a walk in nature, or a few deep breaths between tasks. Whatever you do, remember to connect to the wisdom within, and look to it for guidance.