THE GIFT OF RESILIENCE

The Gift of Resilience

After a reflective morning prayerful walk along the seashore earlier this week and seeing some beautiful ships and boats heading off into the attempted sunrise, I started to think about Who is Captain of my and yours Heart and Soul? Spirituality can help you feel connected to something bigger than yourself and build resilience at the same time. Your spirituality can involve whatever beliefs and values give you and your life a sense of purpose. For many, it may be a relationship with God and certain religious practices. For others, spirituality plays out in non-religious ways, such as through a focus on family or helping a cause or nature. However you express it, spirituality can promote healthy connections with others, healthy lifestyle choices and the strength to endure hard times. Whether expressed through prayer, meditation, or in other ways, being spiritual is important for building resilience and in giving you strength for the journey of life and can help make you 'captain of your heart and soul'.

Put the Glass down

"A psychologist walked around a room while teaching stress management to an audience. As she raised a glass of water, everyone expected they'd be asked the "half empty or half full" question. Instead, with a smile on her face, she inquired: "How heavy is this glass of water?" Answers called out ranged from 8 oz. to 20 oz. She replied, "The absolute weight doesn't matter. It depends on how long I hold it. If I hold it for a minute, it's not a problem. If I hold it for an hour, I'll have an ache in my arm. If I hold it for a day, my arm will feel numb and paralyzed. In each case, the weight of the glass doesn't change, but the longer I hold it, the heavier it becomes." She continued, "The stresses and worries in life are like that glass of water. Think about them for a while and nothing happens. Think about them a bit longer and they begin to hurt. And if you think about them all day long, you will feel paralyzed – incapable of doing anything." It’s important to remember to let go of your stresses. As early in the evening as you can, put all your burdens down. Don't carry them through the evening and into the night. Remember to put the glass down!"

At times in our life we can find ourselves mentally and physically stretched to the limit. We feel our life is like a tight ball of stress and worry. How can we go about regaining our true shape or true strength? For me being spiritually resilient is the answer. Being spiritually resilient gives me the capacity to be flexible, to say sorry, to forgive, to be adaptable and face up to the worries and stresses in my life. Being a spiritual person has helped me to face and overcome problems with courage and determination, to say sorry when I am in the wrong of which I have been in the past few years and to forgive when someone is in need of forgiveness and it has given balance to my life. I’ve seen it help others, too. My spirituality is the thing that gets me through tough times and what helps other people endure unbelievable suffering and live to tell the tale! It's what lifts people up. It's what makes us strive. It's the mysterious strength we all have - the ability to endure anything, dream anything and accomplish great things. And we need that spirit now more than ever as we face many worries, stresses and unknowns in our future especially as we continue our battles with the Coronavirus. I hope that we all in time, may find kindness and goodness in all that we do and receive. My wish and prayer for each other, especially for our children and youth is that our life becomes good and that we can cope with the challenges and obstacles we meet along the way of this journey called 'Life'. Resilience is about handling life challenges, big or small, challenges for instance in relations to other people, in managing difficult tasks, in the ability to stick to a set goal, to help and support and care for one another and to resist temptations that are of no good to you or anyone. The following is a story I got in my Nana Scully's prayer book that goes as follows,

The Resilient Son

A wealthy man and his son loved to collect rare works of art. They had everything in their collection from Picasso to Raphael. They would often sit together and admire the great works of art. When the Vietnam conflict broke out, the son went to war. He was very resilient and courageous and died in battle while rescuing other soldiers. The father was notified and grieved deeply for his only son. About a month later, just before Christmas, there was a knock at the door. A young man stood at the door with a large package in his hands. He said, "Sir, you don't know me, but I am the soldier for whom your son gave his life. He saved many lives that day, and he was carrying me to safety when a bullet struck him in the heart, and he died instantly. He often talked about you, and your love for art." The young man held out his package. "I know this isn't much. I'm not really a great artist, but I think your son would have wanted you to have this." The father opened the package. It was a portrait of his son, painted by the young man. He stared in awe at the way the soldier had captured the personality of his son in the painting. The father was so drawn to the eyes that his own eyes welled up with tears. He thanked the young man and offered to pay him for the picture. "Oh, no sir, I could never repay what your son did for me through his resiliency for us on the battlefield. It's a gift." The father hung the portrait over his mantle. Every time visitors came to his home, he took them to see the portrait of his son before he showed them any of the other great works he had collected. The man died a few months later. There was to be a great auction of his paintings. Many influential people gathered, excited over seeing the great paintings and having an opportunity to purchase one for their collection. On the platform sat the painting of the son. The auctioneer pounded his gavel. "We will start the bidding with this picture of the son. Who will bid for this picture?" There was silence. Then a voice in the back of the room shouted, "We want to see the famous paintings. Skip this one." But the auctioneer persisted. "Will someone bid for this painting? Who will start the bidding? €100, €200?" Another voice shouted angrily, "We didn't come to see this painting. We came to see the Van Gogh's, the Rembrandt's. Get on with the real bids!" But still the auctioneer continued, "The son! The son! Who'll take the son?"

Finally, a voice came from the very back of the room. It was the longtime gardener of the man and his son. "I'll give €10 for the painting." Being a poor man, it was all he could afford. "We have €10, who will bid €20?" "Give it to him for 10. Let's see the masters." "€10 is the bid, won't someone bid €20?" The crowd was becoming angry. They didn't want the picture of the son. They wanted the more worthy investments for their collections. The auctioneer pounded the gavel. "Going once, twice, SOLD FOR €10!" A man sitting on the second row shouted, "Now, let's get on with the collection!" The auctioneer laid down his gavel. "I'm sorry, the auction is over." "What about the paintings?" "I am sorry. When I was called to conduct this auction, I was told of a secret stipulation in the will. I was not allowed to reveal that stipulation until this time. Only the painting of the son would be auctioned. Whoever bought that painting would inherit the entire estate, including the paintings. The man who took the son gets everything!" God gave his Son 2000 years ago to die on a cruel cross. Much like the auctioneer, His message today is, "The Son, the Son, who'll take the Son?" Because you see, whoever takes the Son gets everything and will be given the gift of resilience to help them face up to the difficulties and stresses of life.

As a final thought, always remember that life is fragile and in the blink of an eye can change drastically. The resilience of our human spirit, however, is another matter. Resilience is that quality, that ability that enables some people to be knocked down by life and come back stronger than before. Rather than allowing crises or failure to drain their resolve, they tapped into a reservoir of determination and faith that allows them to rise up again stronger and more resolutely. My prayer is that you will have that strength of resilience in your life when you most need it and that it will help you as it says in the prayer, 'Invictus', by William Ernest Henley , to become, "Captain of your heart and soul". It goes as follows "Out of the night that covers me, black as the pit from pole to pole. I thank whatever Gods may be, for my unconquerable heart and soul. In the fell clutch of circumstance, I have not winced nor cried aloud. Under the bludgeonings of chance, my head is bloody, but unbowed. Beyond this place of wrath and tears, looms but the Horror of the shade. And yet the menace of the years, Finds, and shall find, me unafraid. It matters not how strait the gate. How charged with punishments the scroll. I am the master of my fate. I am the captain of my heart and soul."