The Gift of ordinary

The Overlooked Gift of an Ordinary Life: Examining Our Pursuit of Change

As a therapist and organizational consultant, I've observed a common thread among my clients: a persistent desire for change and self-improvement. Day after day, individuals express dissatisfaction with their current lives, feeling inadequate in various aspects - their achievements, possessions, or capabilities. This constant striving to outdo oneself seems to be a widespread phenomenon in our society.

However, when I probe deeper and ask, "What will truly change when you attain your goals?", the responses are often revealing:

1. Some clients are momentarily stumped, unable to articulate the expected outcomes.

2. Others provide vague answers like "My life will be different" or "I'll feel different."

3. Paradoxically, many say they'll finally be content with their current life - the very life they're trying to change.

This paradox raises several important questions:

1. Why are we so discontent with our ordinary lives?

2. Why does the idea of being "ordinary" or "non-striving" seem insufficient?

3. Do we genuinely understand what we want out of life?

4. Are we aware of the underlying motivations driving our desires?

5. How much of our dissatisfaction stems from comparing ourselves to others?

6. Is there value in learning to appreciate our current circumstances?

7. What role does societal pressure play in shaping our ambitions?

8. How can we distinguish between healthy self-improvement and harmful self-criticism?

9. What are the potential consequences of constantly seeking change without clear goals?

10. How might mindfulness or gratitude practices impact our perception of an "ordinary" life?

As a seeker myself, I understand the drive for growth and improvement. However, I wonder if we're missing something crucial by constantly focusing on what's next. Perhaps there's wisdom in examining the root causes of our restlessness:

1. Are we running towards something or away from something?

2. What fears or insecurities might be fueling our desire for change?

3. How might our lives improve if we learned to appreciate the present moment?

4. What would it take to feel "good enough" as we are?

Are we overlooking the gift of ordinary experiences in our quest for extraordinary lives? The simple joys, the quiet moments, the steady rhythms of daily life, too, have value and can bring fulfilment.

I propose that before embarking on another self-improvement journey, we reflect deeply on our motivations. By attending to the underlying drivers of our seeking, we may discover that what we truly want is already within our grasp. Or, we may gain clarity on what genuinely matters to us, allowing for more purposeful and satisfying growth.

What do you think about this? Have you experienced similar patterns in your life or work? How do you balance the desire for growth with appreciation for the present?