The Gift of Insecurity

Hi! My name is Parissa. This is "Modern Badass: A Field Guide", where Modern Badasses can feel seen, understood and valued. And, it's also a place for others to crack the code on the Modern Badasses in their lives (and maybe learn some badassery themselves). Want this in your inbox 2x/month? Hit the “subscribe” button above!

I always flip through the Costco Wholesale magazine. I read it for the articles (SWIDT) and the recipes. And, okay, yes, I always look for what might be on sale to game-plan my next shopping trip.

As I was going through the latest issue, an article caught my attention: "The Gift of Insecurity"

I did a double-take. After I looked closer, I realized the title was "The Gift of Security". The joke was on me. And, I instantly knew I needed to write about it.

Ana?s Nin (and the Talmud) enters the chat.

In her 1961 work “Seduction of the Minotaur”, she famously wrote, "We don't see things as they are, we see them as we are."

In my funny misread, I put something that may be resonant and present in me, however subliminally, and created a false lens through which to view the world. I have been stressed and worried about some things, occasionally questioning my judgment. I believe all will be well eventually but uncertain as to the pathway to get me there.

The fantastic news is that I'm in good company. Leaders of all stripes do this sort of projection all the time.

One of the biggest mistakes leaders make, regardless of where they are on the Badass curve , is to inject too much of themselves into the conversation. They let ego be their guide instead of what is presented to them in their opportunity landscape.

I shared in my Sixense Empathy Model that Ego Kills Empathy. Putting too much of yourself or placing too much weight on your lenses puts you, your clients and your teams in peril.

I get it. It's sometimes hard to see when you're doing it until it's (almost) too late. It can be hard to see where or how the trolls or limiting beliefs living rent-free in your head control your perspective.

So how do we move forward?

Be honest. Know where your insecurities or even your Achilles' Heel might live. Hayden Lee MCC and I had a conversation just last week on this very thing.

Here are 3 takeaways we shared in our talk:

1. Name it to claim it. Take the time to stroll down memory lane to detect patterns of where or how you may be projecting what's within to whatever situation you may be in.
2. Acknowledge it as its happening. If you notice your projection in real time, call it out so you can be present with what is as opposed to what your lenses (and trolls) want you to see.
3. Remain curious. Be curious and inquisitive about the situation you’re in so that you can navigate forward honestly and effectively. And, next level stuff: you spot it so far in advance next time that it never becomes an issue.

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Not Projecting,

Parissa

P.S. I'd love to work with you regardless if you are a Badass or lead one. Book time to talk about any of these options that may intrigue you.

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