The Gift Of Bad Behavior

When I was new to super high-end sales I learned something unexpected.

Most C-Suite Executives (of billion-dollar companies) were gracious and treated me as an equal.? That was a big deal for someone with my background and lack of…. confidence.? It also gave me confidence.

Now I understand some of the reasons for this.? Taking into account, I had made my way through all their gatekeepers and earned the right to be in that office:

• These executives no longer had much to prove.? They could relax into the relationship.
• Contrary to popular belief, Character often rises to the top.
• Having or developing “people skills” becomes more essential with each rung of the ladder.
• They reserved their show of strength (power) for when it was most useful (negotiations).

I have come to learn that:

Graciousness, honesty, support, the giving of credit, and the judicious use of power shows… Strength and Confidence.

Rudeness, dishonesty, selfishness, taking credit, and wielding power is a sure sign of… Weakness and a Lack of Confidence.

I’m sure it sounds like I am judging the two statements above as “good and bad.”? I’m not.? It’s humanity.

If we are overwhelmed, fearful, unprepared, lack training or support, don’t feel well, have things going on at home, or any number of things…. we can fall into the trap of not living our values or conducting ourselves the way we know we could.

But/and, if you spot the behaviors and take the emotion out of it, you have the power to transform the situation.? Here’s How:

If you are confronted with someone wielding any of the undesirable behaviors, KNOW it isn’t you.? Do NOT take it personally.? Let it go right by as best you can.

THEN get curious.? Are they overwhelmed?? Defensive because they think you want something?? Insecure.? Over their head?? Missing information? Not hugged as a child?? Whatever it is YOU BE GROUNDED.? YOU BE BIGGER.

As a result, you will often know just what to say, or how to change your energy to improve the interaction.? It will seem like a miracle.

If you are confronted by your own sub-optimal behavior, take a deep breath.

THEN get curious.? Are YOU overwhelmed?? Defensive because you are making something up?? Insecure.? Over your head?? Missing information?? Not hugged as a child?? Whatever it is YOU BE GROUNDED.? YOU BE BIGGER than your feelings.? Take a time-out and regroup.

In both cases, you will become more grounded and centered.? You may not feel it at the time, but you WILL show up with more strength and confidence.

We are not worried about your feelings (they come and go) we are focused on your effectiveness OUT IN THE WORLD and the way you impact the people around you.

Congratulations, you just learned profound self-inquiry, which will help you show up your best in every situation.

PS: Many of those C-Suite Executives, though gracious in some situations, I am sure they “misbehaved” in other interactions.

That’s why I have a full coaching practice.? We all need perspective and support, no matter our level of success.

Those places of breakdown are always the opportunity for growth!

Book of the Week :

“Awareness” by Anthony De Mello

Oh, this book!? Simple.? Straight forward.? Kind.? Loving. And powerfully effective for the conversation we had above.

The heart of Anthony de Mello's bestselling spiritual message is awareness. Mixing Christian spirituality, Buddhist parables, Hindu breathing exercises, and psychological insight, de Mello's words of hope come together in Awareness in a grand synthesis.

In short chapters for reading in quiet moments at home or at the office, he cajoles and challenges: We must leave this go-go-go world of illusion and become aware. And this only happens, he insists, by becoming alive to the needs and potential of others, whether at home or in the workplace.

This Week on The Rising Leader Podcast

Episode 090 | Transforming Sales Expertise into Leadership Success- A Conversation with Kurt Greening

In today's episode of The Rising Leader, I have the pleasure of sitting down with my good friend, Kurt Greening Greening. We dive into Kurt's impressive journey from being a young, successful individual contributor to becoming a seasoned sales leader. Kurt shares his insights on the bumps and learning curves in leadership, the significance of building relationships, and the balanced approach he's developed towards work and life. Plus, we delve into his recent experience working with Afghan refugees and how it profoundly impacted his views on leadership and teamwork.

Kurt Greening is the Executive Vice President of Sales and Marketing at Securis. With an MBA in marketing and over 20 years of experience, Kurt has significantly shaped sales teams and digital transformation initiatives at leading companies such as NetApp, Palo Alto Networks, and Agility. His mission at Securis is to enhance customer satisfaction, build the company's brand, and expand its client list. Apart from his remarkable career, Kurt is deeply committed to making a difference, as evident by his time working with Afghan refugees.

• Kurt’s early start in sales and the fear of being carded at happy hours.?
• The importance of building relationships and caring for your customers.?
• Transitioning from individual contributor to sales manager.?
• The steep learning curve of managing a diverse team.?
• The significant role of mentorship and self-education in leadership.?
• Balancing work with personal life and finding deeper meaning beyond material success.?
• Taking a break from corporate life to work with Afghan refugees.?
• Returning to the workforce with a renewed perspective and emphasis on work-life balance.

That’s it.

Lots of love, and have a great rest of the week.

?

- Mark?