Ghosting Stinks: Building Community & Authentic Communication are a Better Option

Recently I had an experience with "ghosting", the dreaded word that has become all too commonplace in our society these days. The experience made me stop to think about the practice, why it's happening, who's doing it, what's their motive, how in tune are they with emotional intelligence, how is ghosting impacting our society, and so forth. As I write this, I'm realizing there's a good chance that I've already given these ghosters more of my attention than they deserve. But stick with me a moment...

The situation unfolded like this: We had a really good discussion, talked about ideas for shared business, and an idea for this person to take a big step forward and meet a stretch goal. It was a pleasant conversation that ended with him gushing over the opportunity with excitement and verbally committing (in retrospect over-committing) to the next steps. I followed up with the agreed-upon email and phone call. A few text messages. And another email. All to be ignored. Officially ghosted.

If you don't know me well - here's a little background. I love people. I practice leading with heart. I enjoy helping leaders find their voice, instilling greatness in their teams, and creating positive habits within organizations. One of my favorite quotes is, "Rising tides, raise all ships." We lift as we go, we don't step on others but bring them up to be great with us.

And one of my greatest life lessons - has been ensuring that I surround myself with an amazing tribe. Who we surround ourselves with matters. Our closest friends. Our work colleagues. Our family. Our neighbors and community. This is our tribe. We must take these connections and "surrounders" very seriously. Knowing that as we build into others, they also build into us. It's a mutually beneficial (or destructive) relationship. And so we must choose wisely.

If you have found yourself on either side of ghosting - I urge you to move forward. For the ghosters - shame on you. Your actions are spineless at best - hateful at most. Dig deep and be authentically human. Communicate even when the news is challenging. There isn't space for ghosting in our world today. You must do better. For those who have been ignored - raise your head up knowing that he/she didn't deserve to be part of your tribe from the beginning. Find new surrounders that make you a better person.

And if the person who ghosted me is reading this - I hope your toxic nature is offset by loving karma. I'm moving forward - working towards a greater good - helping the world be a better place. Join me - life is so much better in a glass that's half full.