Ghosting, Gaslighting, and Benching

By James Zeigler, CEO, BEHOLD Professional Coaching

Connect with James on LinkedIn here

Ghosting: the new silent treatment.

A vogue thing to do to one another when we feel we’re not getting our message through or getting our way in a situation with another human being – IGNORE THEM. ?

Not once, not twice, but three times, a family member has ghosted my wife and me.

The first was a co-dependent relationship, the second was a result of a misunderstanding, and the last was because I said: “alcohol controls you” instead of “I love you.”? It’s been years.

Gaslighting: the new “ja-makin-me crazy!”

Well, it’s not that new. It seems that this term is being resurrected.

A 1930’s movie, “Gaslight,” became a series of films. It featured a husband who insidiously manipulated his wife into thinking her intuition or gut was wrong about him, and she was experiencing mental health challenges herself.

All this character did was “remove some of the light by reducing the gas lantern’s flame.”?

In the workplace, I helped remove an individual who was superbly skilled at gaslighting. It turns out that this individual didn’t even have the appropriate credentials to hold the position they were in.

Yet, this person obscured facts, withheld information, and spread lies about me and my leadership to discredit and exalt themselves at every opportunity. As a result, I doubted myself, my health deteriorated, and I quit.

I was the Chief Executive Officer. These tactics reach the highest levels and permeate our lives and work.

Benching: the new “hurry up and wait.”

Job seekers sit in silence after going through multiple interviews, special assessments, and project submissions to never hear from the potential employer again.

As a professional coach, I’ve worked alongside some very despondent humans because of this ignorance. I find this one to be unnecessary, unprofessional, and unkind.

I met someone at a conference who informed me they had been waiting over nine months to hear back from a company regarding the next steps after an interview.

Another person went through seven levels of interview, a Myers Briggs Inventory, a 200-question online psychological evaluation, and provided a presentation to address a hypothetical challenge the company wanted to see how they would address.

Nothing, crickets!

Is this a form of “lots of fish in the seas?” You know, playing the dating scene, keeping someone on the hook while still fishing.

Are human resources departments and companies awaiting budgetary approvals while recruiting, knowing there’s an internal client, or will they never have the funding to support the position??

My family is not yet a success story, but my own writing is echoing in my heart—call them!

We pray that God moves and that we do not have the same empty chair at Christmas Dinner this year.??

Commitment Calling:

Remember those three words I encouraged you to jot down??

What are you ready to commit to do today about addressing them?

How do you plan to improve your listening?

You can reach James at [email protected].

Interested in joining the C-Suite for Christ movement?

Then, visit our website to learn how you can help us cover the world in Christ.

Please check us out at https://csuiteforchrist.com/