Ghosted.

Ghosted.

When we hear the word ghost, we may think of one named “Casper” or a movie that Demi Moore and Patrick Swayze were in.

It’s not something we thought we’d experience in another way.

It’s a word that has unfortunately become a new part of our day-to-day vernacular.

Today, you and I might experience being ghosted by friends, colleagues, recruiters, talent acquisition personnel, and hiring managers.

It often happens in the job market today where hiring teams suddenly end contact and never close the loop.

You may have even invested in going through 3-5+ rounds of interviews and then you are ghosted to no fault of your own.

The same can be true at times with your experience with some recruiters and talent acquisition in the job search process.

You may have had great conversations and were led to believe they would work as part of your “team” to help you find what’s next? While this is true sometimes, more often than not it results in no further contact and ends up in the “ghosted” category.

You may be ghosted by people who you built strong relationships with. They may have said things like they highly value you and shared other great words of encouragement.

They may have even said they’d be there for you, but they don’t show up. You're no longer a part of the company, role, or circle so sadly you're honestly often not on their radar anymore.

You and I may have invested a lot in building strong relationships with friends, colleagues, clients, and suppliers.

You may have thought as part of your network that they’d show up for you in your time of need, but the sad reality is that many don’t show up for you…they may ghost you.

They are happy if you help them with anything and are there for them (or were there for them), but in your time of need, they ghost you. They don't show up.

You’ve invested a lot of time, energy and effort in all of the above scenarios and more and for one reason or another, communication, contact, encouragement just ends.

You’ve been ghosted.

It stings. It hurts. It’s frustrating.

It's exhausting. It’s disheartening.

It can be a hope killer for a moment and it’s not the reality that you and I thought we’d experience.

You and I cannot control being ghosted.

Being ghosted is now the reality at times…so now what? What can you do when you've been ghosted?

Let me suggest…

1. That you grieve for a moment and decompress from all you’ve invested in and seem to have lost.
2. That you take a step back and regroup.
3. That you don't take it personal. I know it's hard, but don't take it personal.
4. That you never stop believing in yourself.
5. That you learn what you can from each experience in the being “ghosted” zone.
6. That you remember that you’re only 100% responsible for your own words, actions, reactions, and efforts.
7. That you remind yourself that in most cases, it’s not you, it’s them.
8. That you don't know what's going on in someone else's life that may have caused them to ghost you.
9. That you dust yourself off as quickly as possible.
10. That you move forward.

In moving forward along with the other suggestions above, they are the things you can do for yourself. Again, you're only 100% responsible what you can control with your own words, actions, reactions, and efforts.

All of the above is healthy for your mind, emotions, and soul.

Do know what else?

• Do you know who won’t ghost you? YOU!

Keep showing up for you every day!

• Furthermore, do you know who can be one of the people that won’t ghost others? YOU!

Keep showing up for others!

Let’s all help flip the ghosting script and keep showing up for one another.

Let’s be the people, the servant leader, the connection, the colleague, and the friend that we want others to be for us.

Let us all do our part to help make "ghosting" the exception and not the norm!

Keep showing up for others and be mindful of taking care of ourselves along the way.

You got this!

All the very best,

Randolph Koch

P.S. I'd love to hear your experiences and any advice you'd like to share with others. Please leave a comment on this article / post for the benefit of all.

Thanks!

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