Ghost, Zombie, Vampire or Werewolf

Escaping the workplace allows us to change out of our humdrum ‘office’ persona. Free from the confines of protocols, politics and colleague expectations we can briefly become who we aspire to be. That, at least, is the theory.

Sadly, reality often frustrates our best intentions. Annual conferences are a great example of where you can observe the full horror transformation gone wrong. Metamorphosis more often reflects that of Dr Jekyll to Mr Hyde than caterpillar to butterfly. Next time you attend a conference you might want to take a few moments to watch your fellow participants to see whether liberty has them turn into ghost, zombie, vampire or werewolf.

To be honest, conferences can barely be considered a normal situation for any but that rare breed of individuals who organise them. For the rest of us, they represent an unnatural environment resulting from a very particular set of circumstances.

Conference attendance is only the last step of a long process of preparation. As your impending absence looms you take precautions to predict and pre-empt possible disasters, brief everyone on roles and responsibilities and empty our in boxes (secure in the knowledge they will be full on our return). You also need to plan your travel – tickets, clothes, bags and work (to take along). The burden on your time is going to be even greater if you are presenting – preparing your poster or oral presentation and slides takes time. 

Once at the conference it falls on your shoulders to collect as much information from the event as possible – returning with wisdom to share with your colleagues. To best achieve this we often review the conference’s final program beforehand and plan the most efficient use of our time. You need to map the most efficient route through poster sessions, seminars, concurrent workshops and what seems like a nearly endless session of networking opportunities. The levels of preparation required generally results in the responsible conference attendee being exhausted before they even begin their journey. The slightest complication with the travel arrangements will only serve to further oppress your overall demeanour.

Arrival marks the final stage in the personality pressure cooker, queuing for the hotel check in, conference registration and evening reception. Only now do you have time to relax and undergo your transmogrification. After all this horror and the aid of a glass of free wine and snacks who will you become?

Werewolf?

Having established a relentless schedule for yourself and energised by limitless free coffee  and croissants you lurch from one episode of euphoric chemically-driven ‘high’ to hypoglycaemic (sugar-induced), mid-seminar low.

Ghost?

Exhausted from pre conference preparation and distracted by concern over your presentation, you drift from one seminar to another, robotically taking notes but missing the opportunity to interact with your fellow attendees.

Vampire?

Over excited by release from the office humdrum, you gorge yourself on the complementary pastries, prosecco and coffee, visiting every sponsor booth to sweep up the freebies (including ‘extras’ for your colleagues and children). You sleep off your excesses in the seminar sessions.

Zombie?

With little or no energy left to follow your pre-planned conference experience, you stumble aimlessly from one seminar to the next. Exhibiting appalling communication skills, you shamble between conversation groups at the reception, nodding occasionally adding little or nothing to the discussion and killing the mood.

In my time I have been zombie, ghost werewolf and vampire, often even transitioning from one to another during the course of a single meeting. And I am sure it has not gone unnoticed. Attendance of conference represents an investment of time and money for both you and your employer. The question is, how do you get the best out of the experience? 

In ‘An introvert’s guide to conferencing for nerds – top 10 tips’ I shared insights into how those of us who tend towards the introverted, geeky and/or nerdy persona can get the most out of conference situations. Conferences represent an opportunity to make an impression and broaden networks. As such, they form an important part of your career development if you are a STEM professional (or an aspiring one), irrespective of whether you work in academia, government or industry.

If you followed my advice you will have applied a new verve to your conference attendance. No longer are you seen cowering in the corner, plate in hand, hoping that someone will come and speak to you. Using the techniques described you should be aware of how to make the most of these unmissable opportunities to extend your network, progress your career and learn what’s new in your industry. I’m not suggesting that you will yet have overcome your shyness or introversion, rather I expect that you have managed to navigate around the debilitation, making the whole exercise less stressful.

I followed that up with a ‘3-step hack to conference superhero’ describing conference etiquette and how to get maximise the opportunities that conferences offer. I would add to my earlier list that, when reviewing the freebies at vendor booths, it is only polite to speak with the representatives. At best it is common courtesy to ask them how the conference is going for them.

In the end, your best outcomes are achieved by planning your activities thoroughly. However, to avoid being overtaken (possessed) by the experience you want to keep your objectives flexible. Note that although it's important to identify your priorities in advance, you will probably need to adjust them once you're at the conference. For example, you could end up in a fruitful discussion that runs on for longer than you had anticipated. Shift your itinerary, make the most of the opportunity. 

• Have a few primary goals but keep them manageable, don’t be over ambitious. Triage your activities, pursue your primary objectives but remain open to letting go of the less important ones. This will give you the flexibility to go for coffee with a new friend, connect with a potential mentor or take a well-deserved break without suffering from the dreaded ‘fear of missing out’.
• Prepare an itinerary package before you leave that includes critical information like travel details, accommodation, conference centre location, registration, agenda and contact numbers. Even if you don’t refer to the information, having the package handy might make you feel a little more relaxed.
• Take breaks to regenerate. As much as I enjoy attending conferences, I can only process a set amount of information or undertake so much networking before my brain shuts down. When I recognize that I'm approaching my limit, I take time to socialize or decompress –I do whatever is necessary to refocus and feel human again.

If you're physically attending a seminar or lecture or networking session, but you're mentally elsewhere, you're already missing the conference. Take breaks so that you can get back in the game: perhaps take a nap, eat a snack, visit vendors. Be careful not to enter the caffeine-surging snack trap – the monster is waiting.

Tim Hardman is Managing Director of Niche Science & Technology Ltd., a bespoke services CRO based in the UK. He is also Chairman of the Association of Human Pharmacology in the Pharmaceutical Industry and an occasional commentator on science, business and the process of drug development.