Getting Unstuck #8 - Stuck in an Opinion

#opinion #blinders #closedmind #mywayorthehighway #factorfiction

Cedric Edison Shae Chambers Charlene Harry Amna Haslam, MPH Snjezana Ana Billian Yonason Goldson - The Ethics Ninja Santoshi P?rner Sib Law Tiffany Orner Shelley Jeffcoat

Here is an excerpt from my #1bestselling and TAZ award-winning book, Business & Personal Secrets for Getting Unstuck. I also use this story in my talks to business, colleges/universities, and professional organizations.

Stuck in an Opinion

So many people form an opinion and take that opinion to their grave. It reminds me of the old line, “That’s my story, and I am sticking with it!” The world evolves, more facts are uncovered, and situations change, yet many remain opinions forever etched in stone. Opinions are different from facts. Here is the definition of each:

Opinions are defined as: a view or judgment formed about something, not necessarily based on fact or knowledge.

Facts are things that are known or proved to be true.

The ancient Greek philosopher Aristotle who lived from 384 BC – 322 BC, is credited with stating:

The opinion is the lowest form of human knowledge. It requires no accountability, no understanding. The highest form of knowledge is empathy, for it requires us to suspend our egos and live in another's world. It requires a profound purpose more significant than the self.

Let’s look at that last sentence again. It requires a profound purpose more significant than yourself. Now, I am not putting myself in the class of Aristotle, but as I read this, knowledge is finding common ground for the common good. It was a great way to live in 322 BC, and it still applies today.

It leads me to ask, “How do people arrive at these come opinions?” Did it from our parents, teachers, friends, life experiences, or from hearing the same opinions over and over until they became emblazoned in our brains? My colleague, Valerie Andrews, wrote an article published by BizCatalyst360 titled Home in America, her line that caught my attention is:

“We need to reclaim our capacity for measured thought.”

Has the twenty-four-hour news cycle, the massive growth of opinion-based talk shows, blogs, and social media posts removed our ability to think for ourselves? It appears somewhere along the long we lost this capability. We became me-centric, which led to the US vs. THEM split. Negativity, division, anger, and fear sell subscriptions, ratings, social media “likes and shares.” Why? Because bad news makes people react and take action. Bad news often leads to bad choices and actions, which re-enforces opinions. Good news, on the contrary, will usually make us smile for a moment and say, “Isn’t that nice. I wish more people were like this.” Yet good news rarely creates the same visceral reaction as bad news.

We live in a very divided world.

While everyone is entitled to an opinion, opinions are rarely facts. Some differences of opinion are harmless. For example, I grew up a baseball fan in New York. My opinion was Mickey Mantle was the best player of his era. Baseball fans in San Francisco said it was Willie Mays and those in Milwaukee claimed Henry Aaron. It made for some interesting debates and the occasional fist-fights between pre-teen boys, but in the grand scheme, it had no impact on the world and didn’t harm anyone, except for the rare black eye or bloody nose.

Now, I don’t care if you are a Republican, Democrat, Libertarian, Green Party, or a space alien who just landed on the plant. Repeating an opinion or re-posting it thousands of times on social media does not make it a fact.? We become stuck or “dug-in” to our position. We re-enforce our opinion by watching, listening, talking to, and sometimes even reading, but only what justifies our belief.

We dismiss any dialogue that is contrary to our opinion. We all know individuals who watch one of the TV networks 24x7. When the brain is constantly bombarded with one-sided views, our brain gets stuck.

Let me give you a highly charged example, Black Lives Matter. In 2021 social unrest hit another fevered pitch in the United States. We saw marches, demonstrations, deaths of innocent people, and violent confrontations. Now, I found people on both sides of these issues. Here is what I heard from one side:

It is unfortunate that some black men were killed, but these protesters need to stop burning and looting.

The other side countered with:

It is unfortunate some protesters burned buildings or looted, but we need to stop killing black men.

The same circumstance, yet very different opinions. In an article, Valerie Andrews referred to psychologist Daniel Goleman who describes how the brain gets stuck in a repetitive loop of blame and fear:

When our partner becomes, in effect, our enemy, we are in the grip of an amygdala hijack. Our emotional memory, lodged in the limbic center of our brain, rules our reactions without the benefit of logic or reason…which causes our bodies to go into a fight or flight response. (Battle for the Noosphere: How the human mind can be .... https://gnosticwarrior.com/amygadala-highjack.html)

It is not just politics where people are stuck in their opinions. They include issues around climate change, Homeowner Association (HOA) rules, voting, health care, wages, cost of college, pre-school and K-12 education, social programs, and whose family to visit for the holidays, etc. The tension between these opinions has become unbearable.?

How can we begin to collaborate once again to create a more inclusive environment? We don’t have to agree, but we need to be open to listening. I am talking about listening to understand and find common ground. Over the past several years, there is a pervasive opinion that compromise, and consensus are signs of weakness. Nothing can be further from the truth. A strong person can set aside their opinion when faced with facts, not alternative facts, which will benefit the overall community.

Let me touch on the opinion that if something did not go our way, it was stolen or some other nefarious act occurred. Some people believe they were wronged, then go to court (and usually lose), try to undermine the decision (recalls or new laws), and obstruct anything from occurring. It wastes time, money, and energy which further hardens already polarized opinions.

?It reminds me of the playground argument, “I didn’t get to be captain, so I am taking my ball and going home. Now, no one gets to play.”? What are we accomplishing but re-enforcing opinions, not facts, which are often contrary to the overall common good?

How can we get unstuck from an opinion?

One way I discovered is to stop, reflect, read, think and redirect. Avoid the talking heads and opinion TV. Use social media to connect with friends or find funny memes rather than sources for news and facts. Read and listen to experts. I am talking about real experts who have dedicated their lives to improving the human condition, not self-proclaimed experts who claim they will improve the human condition if you send them enough money.

We can rebuild and grow stronger when we choose to do the right things the right way rather than blindly follow someone or entity pushing an agenda of division. Those of us old enough to remember Walter Cronkite told us the news and the facts without opinion or commentary. It was up to us to form our own conclusions. It was then up to us to use our capacity for measured thought.

Stepping Stones to Avoid Landmines & Quicksand

1.???????? What opinions have you changed as facts came to light?

2.???????? How do you react when friends or associates give an opinion diametrically opposite to yours?

3.???????? Where do you go for news and information? Does your source slant their message to support one side or the other?

4.???????? There are at least two sides to every story. What steps do you take to determine fact from fantasy?