Getting Unstuck #16 – Why are you staying?

The Money is Too Good????

Many people remain stuck at their job because of their income levels. If you are like I was, you will put up with a toxic environment for a while because the money is so good. Eventually, I realized that no amount of money was worth the daily stress found in a toxic workplace, and I left.

Per a McKinsey@Co report, employers believe income is the number one factor in retaining staff. The data does not support this theory. While higher wages are essential to many workers, companies looking to keep top employees need to listen to employees about what they want and include them in the process.

Author Sally Helgesen wrote:

The economics of a job matter a lot, so you don’t want to be stuck or undervalued. But toxic work environments take a heavy toll on your physical and emotional well-being, which in turn affects your financial health.

What I discovered over my thirty-plus years in business is while money takes away the financial strain, the more I made, the closer I was drawn or pushed toward the line I told myself I would not cross. As I wrote in my book Business Secrets for Walking on Water, Corporate America will take every second of every minute of your life if you allow it to happen.

No one I know started their career wanting to put in twelve-to-sixteen-hour days or be on the road every week or finally going home only to spend more time on zoom or answering emails or working on your laptop. Yet, it happens far too often.

The job taking over your life creeps up on you. It starts with trying to meet short deadlines, major projects, managing a team, and more travel. Before you know it, you are sabotaging your relationship and family in the name of providing for them. Believe me; money does not buy a happy family life. It makes no sense, right? It is almost like an addiction that you think you are controlling, but it controls and destroys you.

Not the Right Time

You often find yourself stuck, but your family or financial circumstances make it difficult or nearly impossible to extract yourself from the quicksand. I completely understand this. The family does not want to relocate. Your children are happy and thriving in school and with friends. You have a strong local support system. A family member has a chronic health issue, and you have a good health care package and doctor. You are only a few years from a pension. I have been there.

In this case, you need a strategy to get unstuck at some point in the foreseeable future. Like what? Here is what I did. I set a goal to save a certain amount of money for two years without a job if and when the situation became too unbearable. I volunteered at non-profits and became heavily involved with my children’s activities. At the same time, I increased my exposure in my field by writing articles and being interviewed in trade publications. (Remember, this was before social media. There was no Facebook or LinkedIn networking of the ability to create a live video.) When I spoke with people in the industry, I would often interject a statement like, “Wow, that is an outstanding idea. Keep me in mind as you start to move forward.” In short, I expanded my network and let everyone know I was open to a new opportunity.

Now, every strategy comes with a price. Putting away extra money every month meant fewer expensive dinners out, shorter and closer to home get-a-ways (stay-cations) rather than a two-week vacation at exotic locations and nursing the old cars for a few more years. If you asked my wife, now ex-wife, she might say another cost was me around the house for three months. While my wife was less than thrilled, I did achieve the goal. The sense of relief and freedom was exhilarating. I was able to leave the high-paying toxic job, decompress, reflect and redirect my focus. Within three months, I found a more compatible job.

It is a Means to an End

I know many people who use their less than a satisfying job to support a hobby or other activity that brings them joy. For example, they may be “birders” (bird watchers) who use their position to fund their adventures. Others are diehard supporters of their college alma mater and travel to sporting events. Some people are heavily involved with a charity such as Special Olympics. Their life outside of work is positive enough to stay in an unfulfilling job.

Some people are stuck but have an endpoint in mind. For example, when my domestic situation changed and I became the custodial parent for my daughters, I changed careers and acquired a business that I did not enjoy. It gave me the freedom to be a full-time dad, my top priority. The end point was when my youngest daughter received her bachelor’s degree and secured her first, as she calls it, “grown-up” job. While I did not enjoy the business, I owned it for thirteen very successful years.

My youngest daughter graduated in December a few years ago, and I sold the business in March.

You can probably name several people who stayed in their job while obtaining a master’s degree or a certification or a license that gave them the freedom to get out of the quicksand and pursue their passion. There is a significant difference between being stuck and staying stuck. Being stuck can be a means to an end. Staying stuck is a choice.

Stepping Stones to Avoid Landmines & Quicksand

1.???????? In your ideal world, what would you be doing?

2.???????? Why are you not doing it?

3.???????? Do you have a plan to get unstuck at work? Please write it down.