Getting through the tough times (especially this winter)

People closest to me, people who have met me, people who see me in passing, know, I'm a pretty optimistic person. Not in an insane, I need to be committed because I can't express other emotions, type of optimist. Just optimistic naturally.

Day's can be tough, especially for us mid-westerners about to go through the next 6 months of winter! Everyone is going to be curled up inside, going out ONLY when they need to, scrolling though social media and watching the holiday rom-coms (Just Friends is my guilty pleasure). Sometimes you're gonna find yourself down in the dumps. I'm no expert, but I'd like to share a few tips that I use to keep chugging along and holding onto my happy disposition through this upcoming Winter season!

Learn to let things go

This is one I still work on to this day. When we experience something negative, our brain takes that experience and enhances it in our minds. Like a driver who rides too close to our bumper on slippery roads, or someone just took the last Malibu Barbie on Black Friday (who goes to stores anymore?), things can just get us fuming and tail-spinning into a bad day.

Changing my mindset has helped me so much to let things go. Maybe there was a medical emergency that guy reading my lips as he rides my bumper needed to get to, maybe he's just a rude driver, who knows? I get upset, then say "I hope everything is alright, stupid driving, but he's gotta be in a hurry somewhere". Maybe the person who shoved me out of the way and got the last Malibu Barbie has a sick child at home, pleading for that gift this year! We never know what other people are going through, however we can control out thoughts and our actions. Is it easy? No! But would you rather spend the rest of your day in a bad mood, or get back to your day and move on? No matter what, I always try to think what the other person might be going through to cause their behavior. It helps me empathize with people and maintain my ability to keep my emotions in check.

Smile, those pearly whites are meant for more than eating!

A long time ago I heard, "The best way to change your mood is to change your face". Feeling down, upset, frustrated? Force a smile on your face. Science has shown that smiling, even if it's forced, releases endorphins which help put us in a better mood. I've been in countless spirals of thought, where I snap out of my negative brain, look up smile and say, "hey man, you're okay!".

Now there are some days when I do want to be left alone, but I don't frown at people. I still smile and treat others with respect, but I just walk faster and with intention. No one wants to interrupt someone who is perceived to have somewhere important to be. There will be days when I want to chat with people and they'll remember, even though I was in "a hurry", I still smiled at them making them feel good.

Here's the funny thing about that, I've found by smiling and being kind to to others, when I'm truly down, those people do their best to bring that smile and kindness back around to me.

What you say to yourself about yourself matters.

If you won't talk positive about yourself, than who will? The story you tell yourself about yourself determines how you feel in public, around family, at work, AND how you progress through life. We're in a world where people post on social media because they either want to share the life they live, or share the life they want YOU to think they live. Many times the ladder is because the inner story they have is negative. They need other people to build them up because they don't build themselves up.

So many people can't look themselves in the eye in the mirror, more can't do that AND say "I Love You!". I learned to be better to myself, I can't cut me down, I need to BELIEVE in myself! I need to say "it's going to be okay", "You're doing good, man", "You're looking good". Especially being a single guy (who lives with a great cat!), my self talk to myself needs to empower me every day to take on the next challenge. You need to do that too, be better to yourself and tell yourself that it's going to be okay. You got this! You look good in the mirror! You have pretty eyes! You are going to take on the next day with energy and effort!

Life is hard, ladies and gentlemen, but we don't need to make it harder for ourselves. If you're struggling with depression and unable to get yourself out of it, please seek medical help. The world is a better place with you in it. Tough times don't last but tough people do, I hope you find something in here that you can use to help get through the tough times ahead. I love you all, have a happy holiday season, and pass this on please.