Getting and staying fit over 50: Overcoming four main obstacles (2/4)

Episode 2 of 4: Ensuring a healthy attitude towards food and drinks

Food and drinks are one of the primary needs in our lives – and one of the great joys. Think of your experience as a child when you had a birthday cake or a special treat from your (grand)parents. Remember an ice cream or a colorful soda on a sunny beach day with your family and friends. Memories related to food – which may include taste, smell and texture, but also the emotions related to the experience and who you shared it with - make a profound impression on us and condition our way of thinking around food and drinks during the rest of our lives.

The story so far is a happy one – but there is a flipside to this coin. The families and communities we are part of also imprint the general?do’s & don’ts?around food and drinks in our system, and thus establish our beliefs which in turn steer our behaviors. If you have moved from one country to another, you may have noticed that these beliefs and behaviors are not universal: In Italy, where I spend a lot of my time, the common belief is that a heavy breakfast is bad for your digestion, so you start the day with a cappuccino and a cornetto (croissant) and have your first proper meal around lunchtime. In Northern Europe, the beliefs are the exact opposite: There, people tend to start the day with a big, nutritious breakfast and have a sandwich for lunch. Because you supposedly need fuel in the tank to get going. Now, the differences in these dietary habits may be explained by their geographical and cultural origins. And if these habits work for you and the life you lead, that’s great. But if they don’t, you may want to take a closer look, uncover your assumptions about food and drinks and adapt them to your specific needs.

Just like most aspects or our personality, our beliefs in relation to food and drinks are partly nature, partly nurture. Only in this case, the nurture part (the beliefs conveyed by our families and communities) comes first. When we progress in life, and in particular when we hit obstacles, our own true nature in relation to food and drinks may pop up.

Let me give you an example. The generation of my parents lived through World War II, knew real famine and, as a consequence, finds wasting food an absolute no-go. This translates into ‘finish your plate’ no matter what, preferably at record speed. The history of missing out on food also translates into celebrating luxuries such as meat, cream and butter whenever they are available – which for many people these days is almost every day. This leads to cream cakes for birthdays, big and multiple steaks during summer barbeques and lunch sandwiches with a thick layer of butter and cold cuts. And social occasions ‘require’ alcohol, otherwise somehow a real sense of festivity is lacking. This was the food & drink rulebook of my family when I grew up, and this is how I started out on my own.

In addition to this nurture part, I have developed my own patterns in relation to food & drinks. In college, I discovered that a box of sweets and a thermos of coffee could keep me going through late-night study sessions. I also developed the habit to reward a successful exam with a night of alcohol and fried food with my friends. At the age of 20, these habits worked just fine - but they also laid the foundation for my beliefs and actions in later life. And after the age of 50, binges of sweets and late-night drinking sprees have a different impact than they had 30 years ago.

In the work with my coaching clients, I have come to realize that most of us know both about the joys of food and drink and the nutritional needs of our body (although in some cases, figuring out what works for?our?body as it is today can be a game changer). In most cases, however, my clients were less aware of their own assumptions and convictions when it comes to food & drinks. They did not really know?why?they eat and drink as they do.??What proved helpful in the process was to evaluate what role they had unconsciously attributed to the food & drinks in their lives – and whether the sentences running around in their heads were helpful or counter-productive. Here is the menu I use for this assessment:

As you will see there is no right and wrong here – but unconscious?need to’s?tend to prevent people from moving forward towards their goals. Transforming these convictions into a?would love to?is about more than semantics. It helps to separate form from function and helps you bring back the real joy into your food & drink habits. Here is how that works.?

A client of mine travels a lot for business and is often exhausted by the time he reaches his hotel in the evening after a long day of work, airports and airplanes. His mantra had always been: I made it through the day, so now I?deserve?a good meal with a couple of drinks. The ‘need to’ version of the reward. Working with him, we did two things:?

• We evaluated his day that led up to the late arrival, and concluded that after breakfast, he basically skipped lunch and only had food by the time he reached his hotel in the evening. Adding a regular lunch to his schedule and a healthy late afternoon snack before boarding the plane ensured that his body was well-nourished throughout the day (thus establishing a ‘would love to’ practice of nutrition).
• We tuned in on his emotions upon arrival and discussed what he truly longed for. He discovered that, upon arrival, he actually felt quite lonely. We therefore introduced the ritual of him video-calling his spouse and kids while having a wholesome meal from room service. Rather than boosting his dopamines with fat, alcohol and sugar, he took care if his true (social) needs whilst enjoying a tasty, lighter meal with a single glass of wine.

Your starting point may be different, but this process of evaluating and redirecting is worth exploring. Based on the overview above, ask yourself the following questions:

1. What is the role I attribute to food and drinks in my life?
2. Do these convictions generate true joy in my life or hold me back?
3. Which of the phrases in the overview above are most appealing to me?
4. How can I translate those phrases into different actions in my life, that contribute to my life goals and overall wellbeing??

Try to?feel?for the answers in your heart or your body, rather than making this a mental exercise. In this evaluation process, you may discover that some of the mantras in your head are self-imposed, whilst others may be somebody else’s convictions that have reached their expiry date. The antidote for the sentences in your head is not different sentences in your head, but rather positive sensations in your body or the desires in your heart.

The relationship between our thoughts and foods is not a one-way street. To make matters more complex, our attitude to food – which determines what we eat, when and how – is in turn influenced by the food and drinks we consume. Our food intake alters our psychology, our hormones and the chemistry in our body. Certain types of food, especially those high in sugar and fat, which in addition have little nutritional value, trigger dopamine and can create addictive mechanisms. The same thing applies to drinks high in sugar or alcohol (which is basically sugar in a different form). Wholesome foods like slow carbs (whole grain bread or pasta), vitamin-rich vegetables and lean high protein foods give us a more long-term, serene kind of happiness – and are more nutritional. The bad news is that, once we start eating food that makes us unhealthy, we can get stuck in a vicious cycle, because we basically become addicted to them. The good news is that it is possible to get out of these cycles by starting to eat foods that nourish us long-term and make us happy. For instance, it takes about two weeks to kick the addictive mechanism of caffeine and sugar – and in the process you will experience that consuming the foods and drinks that are right for you will have a positive impact on your mood. That way, we can us the link between attitude and food to our advantage. That is why I encourage my clients to become familiar with what food does to their bodies?and their moods, by getting informed up front and by simply observing their own bodies and minds after they eat and drink.??

A word on balance and moderation

Managing the two-way street of food and drink habits and attitudes is a process you can start on both sides: by first changing your attitudes – or by changing WHAT, WHEN and HOW MUCH you eat. Even though so much has written about this, a few words on balance and moderation.

When my partner and I moved to Italy in 2005, we expected Italians to be gluttons who devoured unlimited quantities of all the great food and wines the country has to offer. And if you visit a celebrative Sunday family lunch in Italy, that impression may be confirmed. But daily life in Italy is quite different: the Italian kitchen is not only very tasty, it is based on a combination of finely balanced components - and on moderation.?

Our main lesson here has been that, if the ingredients are fresh and wholesome and you steer away from excessive alcohol, fat and sugar, you can have 3-4 great meals a day and stay in top shape – without any kind of diet. I will not go into the merits of different types of diets here, but would just like to remind you of the three principles that I use with all my clients:

1. Find the true joy in food by adjusting your palate to fresh, natural flavors and experiment with what feels ‘right & light’ for your body. Only you will know!
2. Build your day on the 3*3 principle: at least three meals with the three main food groups (proteins, carbs + vitamins). Our muscles require proteins to build, carbohydrates constitute the fuel of our body, healthy fatty acids (part of fish and olive oil) lubricate the engine and vitamins and minerals support all our bodily functions – as well as our mental and emotional wellbeing.?
3. Stick to fist-size portions for each food group if you have three meals a day. Add a meal if you feel depleted of energy during the day and adjust the size of the other meals accordingly.

Of course, you will also need to hydrate yourself with 1-2 liters of water every day.?

In conclusion

Rather than focusing on any type of diet, start updating the why, what, how and when of food and drinks in your life, preferably working from the inside out. Begin by assessing what convictions you hold in relation to food and drinks. The ones that are part of your family and the society you are part of. The ones that you adopted yourself along the way. You may discover that you have been operating on auto pilot based on ideas that are not your own or that have long since lost their purpose. Rebuilding your eating and drinking habits on a joyful new foundation of ‘I would love to’ will positively position food and drinks in your life in a way that works for you and your mental, physical and emotional wellbeing. And changing your eating and drinking habits will in turn change the way you feel – if only you take a moment to register what is going on in your mind and in your body.

Next week, I will focus on finding the right level of intensity for your physical activity. Interestingly enough, most of the people I work with either overdo it and hurt or exhaust their bodies – or, on the other hand, they fail to stimulate their body into any kind of healthy progress. I will help you optimize the ‘Bermuda triangle’ of exercise, rest and nutrition. Don’t miss the next issues and let me know what pops up for you!

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Niels-Peter van Doorn delivers body, mind and heart transformation programs for individuals and teams across Europe and at his FitFarm in Central Italy. He is an experienced executive coach, a government-certified fitness trainer and a certified shiatsupractor.

This article is intended to be inspirational and does not substitute professional medical advice. Consult a doctor in case of health issues or questions and prior to making any changes in your diet or exercise regime.