Getting a Seat at the Table and then Making it Count!

The tech world is still unfortunately a man’s world. The theme of this year’s International Women’s day is #BreakTheBias and it made me reflect on my own journey as a woman leader and entrepreneur in tech. More than ever, it is key for more women to get a seat at the table and then make it count, so that our voices can be heard, and we can implement change. And this doesn’t necessarily just mean a seat on a Board or a senior leadership team. I mean anywhere in an organization where key decisions are being made. Invite yourself. Insert yourself. And once there, make sure your voice counts. Speak your point of view unapologetically, even when that feels daunting or risky.

How do you get to the table?

1)???The simplest way is to make your intentions clear and just ask. The Dutch have a saying "Nee heb je, ja kun je krijgen.” Basically, being told "no" after asking for something is only as bad as never asking in the first place. Tap into your connections and network. I’ve seen how men are more likely to ask, while women don’t. So just ask.

2)???If asked, do say yes. It goes without saying: only say yes if it is generally aligned with your goals and interests. Opportunities beget opportunities. And you never really know what these new projects, learning experiences or connections may lead to. I know saying yes can be a lot harder for women with kids, especially young ones. I’ve been there. In 2013, I moved to Boston alone with my two kids, then 10 and 4, as a single mom. It was tough to say yes to social dinners, evening events or to conferences that required traveling for days. Be selective, and if you don't have a partner who can help, build and invest in a support network who you can trust with your kids so you can do some of this.

3)???Get over that doubtful voice in your head. You know Debbie Downer from SNL? I literally sometimes have her visit my head, with the soundtrack and all, saying things like “You will fail; This will never happen; You can't do this or that”. A few years back, it took me years to muster the courage and ask to be the CEO of my own company and it was because I didn't believe in myself. I still grapple with that, but I find that my daily meditation and affirmation practice helps.

?How to make your seat count?

1)???Once you have a seat, it is imperative that you exercise that power. Too many women are passive in these conversations (I am sometimes guilty of this too). Once you’re there, you have to BE there. Speak up. Use your voice. Communicate your point of view with passion and conviction.

2)???Take the time to get to know the other people at the table. Why are they there? What motivates them? Get to know them at a professional but also personal level. Often these connections will outlive that particular table! I make a point of reaching out to people on boards I’m on and schedule 1-1s to get to know them. Now with teams being more virtual and remote, make the time to build a personal and human connection with other people in your company, even if they are not on your team.

3)???If you are in a position to do so, champion and advocate for other women to join your table! Ask that a woman on your team attend an executive meeting once in a while, or suggest that she present to the board, or recommend her to sit on key task forces or initiatives. And always amplify the voices of other women in your orbit. Give women on your team credit.

When women support each other incredible things can happen :)

Here’s to breaking the bias!?