Getting out of your own way

Ever wonder how your mind or your thoughts get power over you?

Doesn’t it seem like there is a dictator inside your head that is constantly trying to solve problems, evaluate your actions, judge this and that?

Ever notice that the dictator never quits?

Did you know that your ability to thrive, to be successful and to overcome challenges is directly related to how much you understand the “tricks” your own mind plays on you?

It just so happens that over a thousands studies show that our ability to thrive, to rise to challenges, to solve problems and to live meaningful lives, depends on our understanding and ability to control our own thought processes and the “tricks” our mind plays on us.

I would say that my successes have depended completely on how much I can settle back and see my thought processes in action.

Understanding how my mind works has affected nearly everything in my life; how I relate with others, how I see myself, how I act, how I resolve problems, and how much control over my own life I feel I have.

My ability to detach from my thoughts, has allowed me to get out of a long-term abusive relationship and to has allowed me to break the pattern. I am so glad!

Our minds play tricks on us, but once we understand how the tricks work, we can’t be fooled so easily.

Detaching or defusing (made up word, meaning not fusing with) from your thoughts is one process that is proven to give you control of your life by allowing you to make a conscious decisions, rather than have habitual responses. Detaching or dis-identifying with your thoughts changes your behavioral response to particular thought patterns. Amazing, right?

I want to share a very powerful exercise to practice with you to help you liberate yourself from the dictator inside and help you thrive!!

Remember, reading this will not create change (in your brain structure or behavior.) It’s imperative you do this exercise repeatedly to make brain change and begin to notice a difference in your life.

Remember practice doesn’t make perfect, it makes permanent.

Let’s get started:

Exercise:

This simple exercise is one hundred years old, and has proven effective for allowing you to detach or defuse from a word and its meaning to you. Allowing you to be free from it’s emotional grip.

Find a quiet place where no one will disturb you and you can really get into this exercise.

Next, begin to think of the word “milk”.

What is milk like? What does it look like or feel like?

Now see if you can taste what milk tastes like. Can you do that?

If you can’t, can you imagine what chocolate milk tastes like or sour milk?

It’s unlikely that there is any milk inside your mouth right now, but you likely can taste it. Just notice this. This is the transformation of the function effect built into language.

Next, start saying the word “milk” out loud fast for 25-45 seconds - no longer.

Quickly and clearly pronounce the word each time.

Watch what happens.

Go ahead and do this.

How did this feel? What happened to the meaning of the word?

What happened to the cold, creamy, white substance that you pour over your cereal? Did the word still invoke the same image in the same way as before?

It’s common to notice how odd the word sounds, how the beginning and end of the word blend together or how your muscles moved when saying it.

For most people the meaning of the word falls away temporarily. You begin to notice the word by more of the sounds and sensations you are hearing. The emotional component begins to transform. So the word is not so closely connected to or triggering of an emotional response in you.

Now try something different. Take a negative thought you often have about yourself and see if you can reduce it down into one word. The shorter the word the better. Try to get it to one syllable if possible. If you come up with something like immature you could shorten it to something like baby. If you are disturbed about how mad you get at others, you might get down to the word “bully” or “abusive”. This negative thought about yourself should reflect how you feel when you are being really hard on yourself.

Next, rate this word, 1-100.

How distressing is it to think that this word applies to you?

How true or believable does the word seem to apply to you?

Now take your word and do the same thing as “milk”.

Don’t go over the time limit 25-45 seconds.

What is your experience?

Does it have the same emotional impact when you say it fast?

How distressing is it to think that this word applies to you. 1-100

How true or believable is it that it applies to you? 1-100

Research shows about 95% of people who do this experience a reduction in believability to the word. That kicks in at around 35 seconds and reaches the max at 45 seconds. What the word sounds like becomes more prominent - the word is becoming just a word (at least to some degree).

Remember to repeat this exercise to continue the dis-identification or defusion with different negative thoughts until the language meaning is transformed for you.

Overall, the dictator within is responsible for our rumination, anxiety, depression, almost all psychological disorders. It prevents us from enjoying our job, interferes with our learning new things, affects our intimacy with others, and even our ability to rise to new challenges — such as the ones we might be facing right now.

By practicing these and other tools, you are able to improve your ability to thrive now and in the future. Brain training like this is the counterweight that we need to rise to the increasing challenges of the modern world.

If you’d like more tools, sign up for The Brain Gym for only $2.00 a month. You’ll learn to reduce your stress, and overwhelm, find answers to how to rewire your brain, create new habits, increase your happiness and find meaning and purpose in your life.

The Brain Gym includes monthly live neuroscience-based workshops, brain hacks, evidence-based resources, Q&A sessions, guided meditations, and more, all designed to change your thinking and your life. Learn more about how to get access to The Brain Gymfor only $2 per month!

Your happy brain trainer,

Michelle Anne