Getting out of your comfort zone in a new country

Making new connections

Stepping out of your comfort zone to make new friends in a new city or country can be both exciting and intimidating. This guide provides strategies to help you navigate this challenge by identifying your values, setting manageable goals, and managing any accompanying anxiety. For more professional advice, visit: https://www.facebook.com/groups/expatadvicebyexpatpsychologists

1. Identifying and holding onto your values

Values are the principles that motivate us and define what we seek in relationships. Consider what is important to you in friendships:

• Openness: Do you value openness and honesty in your interactions?
• Support: Is mutual support and understanding important to you in friendships?
• Adventure: Do you value shared experiences and trying new things together?

Reflecting on these values can help you identify the kind of friends you want to make and the communities you wish to join.

2. Setting Goals and Breaking Them Into Smaller Steps

Once your values are clear, set goals that align with them and break these into even smaller, more achievable steps. Here are some examples:

Big Goal: Making New Friends at Work

Smaller Steps:

Choose one colleague to introduce yourself to during your next coffee break. Find out about one work-related social group and attend the next meeting. Mark your calendar for the next company social event and plan to attend.

Big Goal: Making New Friends through Volunteering

Smaller Steps:

Research and select one local charity that aligns with your interests and sign up. Commit to volunteering for a specific event or day. Make it a goal to start a conversation with another volunteer about a task during the event.

Big Goal: Making New Friends in Educational Settings

Smaller Steps:

Arrive 10 minutes early for your next class. Identify a classmate you haven’t spoken to yet and sit next to them. After class, ask that classmate a question about the lesson or homework.

Big Goal: Making New Friends through Sports and Fitness

Smaller Steps:

Find and sign up for a local sports team or fitness class that meets at least once a week. Set a goal to introduce yourself to one new person at the next session. After a couple of sessions, suggest to one/two people to grab a coffee or smoothie post-workout.

3. Managing anxiety through mindfulness and reminders of your values

Making new friends often requires stepping into unfamiliar situations, which can provoke anxiety. Manage this by:

• Mindfulness: Practise deep breathing exercises or meditate for a few minutes before attending social events to calm your nerves.
• Value Reminders: When feeling anxious, remind yourself of the values that motivated you to seek out these opportunities. Reflect on the type of friendships you are aiming to build and the positive impact they will have on your life.

4. Seeking Support and Encouragement

When navigating life in a new environment and getting out of your comfort zone, it's important not to go it alone. Reach out to loved ones, friends, or community members for support and encouragement. If you find the transition particularly challenging, consider talking to a therapist who can provide professional guidance. Whether it's emotional support or practical advice, having a supportive network can make a significant difference in managing the stresses of moving and adapting to a new place.

Join the Expat Advice by Expat Psychologists community

This information comes from our 'Expat Advice by Expat Psychologists' Facebook group. For more advice like this, join our expat advice community: https://www.facebook.com/groups/expatadvicebyexpatpsychologists