Getting Out of a Slump

Sometimes we all can empathize with the upside down turtle….

You know when you talk to someone you have known for a long time and can tell something is amiss? They just seem off and you can’t put your finger on it? I had that happen to me recently.

So, being the?radically candid?person that I am, I called them on it. And after a few attempts to try to deflect the conversation, they finally admitted, “Yeah, I guess I’m just kinda frustrated…..kinda like a turtle on it’s back.”

It was a great analogy and?helped me empathize?with how they were feeling. We’ve all been there at one time or another (we’ve even talked about?losing your mojo?here in this space before as well). And when you see someone else flailing away (particularly someone close to you), it can be hard to watch. It’s also tricky to know where the boundaries are in terms of helping them get themselves out of their rut.

Here’s some advice I offered my friend as a way to try to get themselves out of their rut:

1. Write down the 3 things that are causing the most anxiety or stress for you right now.
2. Write down the 3 things that are making you the most happy, can give you an easy win, or will make you feel good about yourself right now (sparking joy, if you will).
3. Write down an outlet or activity that you already like to do or can easily begin to do that will help stimulate you intellectually, emotionally, spiritually and physically (one activity for each – and they may or may not overlap with the 3 things that make you happy). This could be activities like reading, spending time with family, meditating or going for a run.
4. Make a conscious effort to optimize your time in the near term (as much as possible) to maximize focus on the 3 good things and engaging in the stimulating activities and de-emphasize time spent on the 3 things that are creating the most stress.

Seems too simple or too good to be true, right? But it’s not. Whether it is in our personal lives or our professional lives, what generally happens when we get into a funk is we allow ourselves to get consumed by whatever is negative. We stop thinking about what is positive. That inhibits our ability to confidently get ourselves out of the tailspin.

By taking a moment to identify and acknowledge the things that are causing us the most frustration, the things that make us most happy about ourselves, and the activities we do that can achieve balance, we can start to put together a blueprint to get ourselves back on track.

The hardest thing is the final step – putting an action plan together. How do we realistically optimize our time to focus on the good stuff when we still have to deal with the bad stuff?

We have to embrace the concept of “radical acceptance”

First, we have to embrace the concept of “radical acceptance”?– essentially a fancy way of saying our situation “is what it is.” Understand that the things that are creating frustration or anxiety are there and they are not magically going away (and be happy that at least we have identified them!).

Next,?we consciously (and in many cases, literally) re-structure our time to balance out our focus on getting out of our rut with doing things that make us feel good or centered.?This doesn’t mean we completely ignore the difficult things altogether?– it just means we allow ourselves to be re-directed so whatever is causing anxiety or stress is not all consuming. The activities that we do that bring us happiness or make us feel good about ourselves boost our confidence and allow us to believe that we can handle the hard stuff.

Finally, and this may be the most important,?we have to give ourselves permission to do this and hold ourselves accountable. Just as a turtle on its back will not flip over by just moving its legs real fast, we will not get ourselves out of a rut without altering our approach. This means taking conscious steps to changing things up – at least for a short period of time. It may feel uncomfortable at first, but sticking to a balanced action plan helps us get out of our heads, minimize the effects of our anxiety and back on the track of success.

What do you think??I hope you find this helpful (if not today, then maybe when you may need it). It was inspired, in part, by two posts I had read on?routines?and?optimism?from VC?Fred Wilson.?While he does not publish as frequently as he once did, I still try to read his blog regularly – it is so well written and easy to digest, I highly recommend checking it out.

XOXO

Dave

This was adopted from the February 9, 2019 intro to my weekly "Friends of Dave" newsletter, which is accompanied by interesting links I curate each week. If you would like to see past full issues, please click here?>>>?https://www.getrevue.co/profile/davidafrankel