Getting Noticed At Work Without Being Loud, Five Quick Life Lessons & A Bette Davis Weekend

Welcome to Potentially Focused! It's Thursday, October 10th, and I hope your morning is off to a strong start! Today We... Get noticed at work without being the loudest voice in the room and share five great life lessons from a 50-year-old who isn't me!

Plus, as always, we've got some fun stuff for the weekend too.

Potentially Focused is a newsletter for busy people in the TV business (or not) who are curious. Everyone interested in growth, great new possibilities, and the stories we tell ourselves and others that either get us there or hold us back. Each edition features quick links to at least one great piece of content on professional development and one centered on personal growth. It's practical information for the next phase of your journey.

Please like, subscribe, and share with your favorite loud or quiet person. This newsletter is for everyone!

Thank you,

Marco

Let's start with...

BEING GRATEFUL

Yesterday, two people I love had surgical procedures. Both were what their doctors termed common procedures and so I wasn't particularly worried. That said, it's easy to worry less when you're not the person being operated on. Very glad to report both came out of the experience with stellar results and great prognoses for the future.

Later in the day, I had a fantastic catch-up dinner with two old friends and Yankees fans as I watched the Mets (my favorite baseball team) clinch a spot in the NL Championship Series.

And when I got home, I was deeply touched by the supportive reaction I got to a LinkedIn post I shared updating my work status.

It was quite the day, and before I begin another, taking a moment here to reflect on it, be grateful, and say thank you to all of you for continuing to read and support this newsletter!

And now onto...

HOW SMART QUIET PEOPLE CAN STAND OUT AT WORK

I am completely guilty of sometimes being a "loud person" at work. I am a talker who is always excited to share ideas I'm passionate about. I've also, at certain times and in certain scenarios, been pretty quiet in a work setting.

Turns out, those moments when I was loud may have come in handy.

According to this CNBC article, in many companies, there's an emphasis on who talks most. The talkers, whether their ideas are good or not (and I've had plenty of both), tend to be viewed as leadership material. That, of course, is a problem as plenty of introverted people have great ideas and the potential to be fantastic leaders (and of course, some decidedly do not).

Author Jessica Chen, is firmly an introvert. Having seen the talkers around her at work sometimes thrive despite the qualities of their ideas being less than stellar, she decided to do something about it. Chen's book, Smart, Not Loud: How to Get Noticed at Work for All the Right Reasons is designed to teach introverts how to communicate with confidence and succeed at work without needing to be loud.

If you're on the quiet side and think it may be holding you back at work, here are Jessica Chen's Top Four Tips:

Stop waiting and start sharing?

Sometimes you might hold yourself back from saying what’s on your mind because you want to make sure you’re contributing something of value.

This can stem from the high expectations you put on yourself, the need to be perfect, or the desire to have all the information before you weigh in.?But what’s common knowledge to you may actually be genius to someone else.

In other words, what’s valuable is subjective. Don’t dismiss or diminish your thoughts before you even try to contribute them in a discussion.?

Ask for what you want?

It’s easy to feel like your amazing work should speak for itself. But if you want to score that big promotion, get on that coveted project, or pursue an innovative idea, you have to ask for it. Don’t assume your manager will know what you’re interested in.?

Smart people prioritize asking for what they want, and they always do it with tact.?Focus on your audience and what they care about.

Follow up?

One of the most important things you can do to succeed at work is to get comfortable circling back with people.

For many of us, this can feel awkward because we don’t want to be perceived as pushy. But the truth is, the most successful people know following up is part of the process. It’s how you can ensure you stay top of mind.?

To do this in a tactful way, don’t just say, “Following up here...” Instead, offer a new piece of information, a fresh insight, additional research, or more data. This can make the follow-up feel new and timely, drive the conversation forward, and help you get what you need.?

Celebrate your wins?

For many of us, celebrating the wins of people we care about — like friends and family — feels natural. But when it comes to celebrating the amazing work we do, we sometimes let it fall by the wayside because we don’t want to be seen as boastful, self-centered, or loud.?

However, smart people know highlighting their contributions can unlock bigger opportunities at work.

To do this in a way that doesn’t feel like we’re bragging, talk not only about your accomplishments but also about the lessons you learned along the way.

Whether you're quiet or not, this loud-ish person hopes the information above is helpful to you!

Next up...

FIVE LIFE LESSONS FROM SOMEONE TURNING 50

Writer John DeVore recently turned 50. He decided to mark the occasion by writing about the 50 things he's learned about life over his first 50 years. He says his list will make your road to success and happiness easier.

That's a big claim and our existence is nothing if not a learning journey. So, I was curious to see what DeVore's experiences so far have taught him.

Very pleased to share he did not disappoint! Will his life lessons make your life easier?

I'm sure the results will vary from person to person. I'll share a link to his article in a moment.

Let us know what resonates for you or a life lesson you've learned along the way!

DeVore's entire list is worth reading, but as time is ticking by quickly and I know you've got a lot to do, listed below are the five things he's learned that resonated most with me to give you a sneak peek...

10.?Listening to a favorite song is a perfect way to reboot. But you must punch the air when you listen to that favorite song. I’m not suggesting you violently throw knuckles. But bouncing up and down to a beloved tune while trying to gently fist-bump angels gets the blood moving and triggers stress-reducing brain chemicals. The music I jab to includes Abba, Elvis Costello, and Beyonce. Sometimes, I mix it up and joy box to the?Moana?soundtrack. Have you ever listened to Fugazi? You should.

11.?You have nothing to fear but fear itself. Fear and rattlesnakes. Fear, rattlesnakes, and hot lava. Fear, rattlesnakes, hot lava, and ghosts.

20.?You must fight the good fight, even when you know you’ll lose. In fact, you must fight harder. The world doesn’t want to change because the world hates to sweat. To make an effort. The world likes to sit, snack, and nap. But when change happens — and it does because progress can only be hobbled — it is because love is slow and certain. Love is a geologic pressure that can split mountains. A slow, thankless, selfless action that takes more than it gives, and then one day, you’re gone. But love slogs on. And, really, by fight, I mean: if someone asks for help, you help. You pray if that’s your thing. You donate. You organize. You vote. You take good care of yourself. You march, you chant, you link arms. You listen. You stand up for those who can’t. It’s not rage that changes the world. It is patience and tears and compassion, spine and the grim acceptance that some things in this life are more important than fear. One day, maybe, far in the future, long after we’re dead, the brave will fully be counted, and we’ll all finally be home. So do unto others, my darlings. Be brave.

34.?Raccoons are like little bear monkeys with tiny hands. They are one of the most amusing animals that the process of evolution has produced. Here’s my point: there are thousands of videos on YouTube of raccoons behaving like mischievous little fur goblins, and you should do yourself a favor and watch a few, especially if you’re having a crummy day. One video, in particular, shows a raccoon sneaking up on a bowl of cat food, grabbing the food in its little fingers, and then running away on its hind legs. This video, without fail, puts me in a good mood. If, for whatever reason, you don’t like trash pandas, then you’re still in luck because YouTube has videos of otters, too. Otters are love weasels.

42.?Success is just what happens between failures. This is straight-up truth, and the sooner you understand how you cannot have one without the other, the sooner you will learn to prize the doing not the getting.

Soooooooooo, it turns out that I just couldn't cut the list down to five despite what I wrote in the headline above. Apologies!

Here's one last one from DeVore:

47.?My father, a preacher born in the South during the Great Depression, raised me to be polite. I was taught to say "yes, sir," "yes, mam," and "yes, em" if I didn't know the gender of the person I was talking to, and, of course, "thank you.". These words became reflexes. I learned how to smile when meeting someone, shake their hands, and talk about the weather. More important, my father taught me to listen. Because that’s the real secret of being polite: You say nice things because it buys you time to listen and, in turn, to think. Only assholes talk without listening and thinking first. Politeness isn't a weakness; Politeness is not a weakness—it is self-discipline. Politeness isn’t the art of avoiding conflict—it is the art of knowing when conflict is unavoidable. It is a survival strategy that demands empathy, a word often used these days without any real consideration as to what it means. I have seen two ideological gangs angrily accuse each other of lacking empathy as they jockey for dominance. It is a skill that requires imagination and humility and compassion. It teaches a simple lesson: we all suffer.

Ending on "we all suffer" might seem to be a downer, but it's a good reminder to be more empathetic. All of us have baggage, and most of us have significant challenges we're facing in some part of our lives. Remembering that can help us to be kind when and where we can, including to ourselves.

Now, there's a good note to end on.

HAPPY WEEKENDING TO ALL!

Like we do every Thursday, we're sharing some fun stuff for your weekend. This week we dive into Hollywood's golden age and a related 1980s classic pop hit.

Enjoy!

For a little guilty pleasure, hear all about Bette Davis and her "trashy divorces" in this episode of the aptly named podcast, Trashy Divorces.

Sticking with the Bette Davis theme, find out the meaning behind the 1980s Kim Carnes' classic, Bette Davis Eyes.

And continuing down the rabbit hole... check out these less familiar covers of the song! PS, Kim Carnes' version was a cover too...

ALL DONE!

That's it for today! In this edition, we quietly succeeded at getting well-deserved attention at work and shared some life lessons 50 years in the making.

And, we passed along some fun distractions for your weekend!

We'll be back with a new edition on Tuesday! Until then, wishing you all a great weekend!

Thanks to you all for reading. Please let us know what you want more or less of. Please feel free to share information you’d like me to pass along to our readers. Also, always happy to feature guest contributors.

And of course, please like, subscribe, and share.

Deeply appreciated,

Marco