Getting More of What You Want

In marriage, there will be disappointing moments. Your spouse won't respond the way you hope. Plans will fall through. Expectations won't be met.

One reason these situation are hard to deal with is the huge gap between what's happening and what you really want.

This perspective is really valuable.

Because it offers a great opportunity for you to connect with what you desire.

When I speak with people experiencing challenges in their marriage, I notice a hyper-focus on what's going wrong.

They ruminate on what's not going the way they would like. That brings up even more negative emotions like anger, frustration, sadness, and resentment.

They start to wear those feelings, which then affect the way their respond and operate in the marriage.

Think about what you do and say when you are feeling angry, frustrated, sad and resentful.

It's not good, and only creates more negative interactions.

You can make a SHIFT to steer things in a more positive direction.

THINK ABOUT WHAT YOU WANT.

When an expectation isn't met, train your mind to notice it, and then ask yourself, "what would I love instead?" It instantly shifts your energy.

From this place, you can step into better problem solving, and increase your ability to have a productive conversation with your spouse. You'll also be more open to making empowered decisions for yourself.

So, what do you want?

Here are some of the most common answers I hear:

I want to feel connected.

I want to be supported.

I want our marriage to be a priority.

I want to be heard and understood.

I want to feel like best friends.

I want to enjoy our time together.

I want to have a good weekend.

I want to treat each other with more love and kindness.

I want more intimacy.

I want to feel safe and cared for.

I want to understand each other.

Take your pick. Spend a lot more time thinking about that.

What you focus on is what you ultimately create.

And what you REALLY want is possible. What would be your next step if you really believed that?

Whatever it is, take it.

Have a beautiful weekend.

Dr. Chavonne

Want to explore what it would be like to work with me directly as your coach? I work with women and couples on a variety of issues. Book a complimentary consultation call HERE and we'll talk about the ways I can help.