Getting men to accept mental health support.

Have you had experience of this?

If it was easy to get blokes to accept mental health support, someone would have cracked it by now.?

Actually, they have cracked it … but it isn’t easy, it’s messy, and complicated, and hard work.? Despite all that, in my experience, it can be done.

I’ve written tens of thousands of words on specific aspects of this, but I’ve never encapsulated my thoughts in a single article. Doing so has been useful for me, so I hope it is for you.

If you have thoughts on things I’ve missed, please say so!?

Here goes:

1.?????? Understand stigma. Like many other people, most of them far more exalted, I’ve written extensively on this, but if you don’t understand the stigma of mental health issues, you’ll never understand mental health. Stigma is vested in society, not in the individual experiencing mental health challenges, so you can’t remove it (hopefully, we’ll do so through collective effort over the years). All you can do is help people to get past it.

2.?????? Promote open conversation – normalise the discussion of mental health. The brain is an organ, like any other, and discussing mental health shouldn’t be any more difficult than discussing a complex broken limb or a failed kidney.? This doesn’t conflict with the need for confidential counselling – it sits alongside it.

3.?????? Redefine masculinity.? The bizarre notions of masculinity implicit in Hollywood, historical tales of derring-do, computer games, and other media defy common sense and whilst they might make for a good story they don’t bear any relationship to reality. I’ve discussed before how and why these themes emerged in our culture, but we should put them to bed. A strong and resilient man is one who looks after his mental health

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4.?????? Encourage men who have overcome mental health challenges to share their stories. There are plenty of them, now. They set an example that challenges the ridiculous, simple-minded notion of the ‘strong silent type’.?

5.?????? Dispel myths.? Share high-calibre, good-quality education. If you’re the sort of person who benefits from cliched sayings and quotations, fine, there’s probably a place for that, but (for me) far more important is accurate, evidence-based fact.

6.?????? Make sure you have a good knowledge of a wide range of support mechanisms. That might include 24-hour helplines, counselling, group therapy, Mental Health First Aid, reputable apps and online resources etc.? What works for one may not work for another – we’re all different.

7.?????? Promote workplace initiatives to make mental health support a routine part of the working environment. 'Initiatives' might involve visiting speakers, mental health days, Mental Health Fist Aid schemes, relevant courses etc.? Mental health issues are just as likely to occur at work, where we spend half our lives between our late teens and our mid-60s, and enlightened employers are increasingly making space for mental health initiatives. If you send people on first aid courses or fit defibrillators in your office, it’s irrational not to address mental health as part of the same topic.

8.?????? Involve family.? The mental health of men affects their families, and families can be a powerful means of getting them to reach out for support.? That’s one reason why everyone should be more exposed to good information about mental health, not just those who are struggling and those who are directly involved in providing assistance.

9.?????? Focus on tailoring support specifically to men.? There are several initiatives for doing this, and it’s very effective – men will open up, sometimes, to other men, in a way that they can’t open up to a woman, and that’s more likely to happen in an environment tailored to male interests. It won’t work for all men – not every man likes fishing, sheds, rugby, car maintenance, allotments, or DIY. But some do, and for them, it’s worth pursuing

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10.?? Celebrate progress. Even simple progress, such as attending the first group therapy session, making the first contribution, or talking about something difficult for the first time. But be appropriate - don’t make an embarrassingly big deal about it, that risks being counterproductive, but recognise it, and mark it.?

Writing this has been good for me – a simple list of priorities sometimes helps to refocus your mind, particularly if you’ve been down in the weeds dealing with detail for a long time.? There are issues here that I’ll explore on an individual level in later articles, when I do get back in the weeds.?

Ultimately, if you’re positive, empathetic, and supportive, the chances are you’ll do more good (by a long way) than harm, but training (in – for example – Mental Health First Aid) goes a long way to filling-in some of these highlights with actionable know-how.

I welcome first-hand experience from anyone else (in the comments).