Getting Life Back On Your Terms

The S.H.I.T.E. Guide to over-come your over-thinking, over-eating and over-doing.

Is feeling crappy contributing to your over-thinking, over-eating and over-doing everything?

Over the years of working with clients I have found that how we feel is a massive factor in how we operate in life. And, more importantly, when we feel crap, we often engage in self-sabotaging patterns of behaviour that can undermine our goals and rob us of our sense of enjoyment in life.

So, I have created the 'S.H.I.T.E. Guide' to overcoming the factors that cause many if us (including me) to over-think (worry, over-analyse), over-eat (binge and emotional eating) and over-do (never switch off, over-work, never say "no").

It's tongue in cheek in relation to the guide, but with feet planted very firmly in the practical, down-to-earth, no nonsense solutions.

If this resonates with you and you would like your own pdf infographic with links to relevant resources to help you with each area of the S.H.I.T.E. Guide, then DM me or drop a comment below.

How to use the S.H.I.T.E. Guide?

It's all about recognising that our over-thinking, eating and doing, can often be rooted in how we feel and how we feel can be influenced by several key factors. Ask yourself which one is most likely to apply and then tackle that by adding to your positive coping toolkit (again DM for links to resources to help).

S - Stressed: Are you feeling stressed, burned out, overwhelmed? Do you struggle to make progress with the seeming never-ending demands. Do you experience overwhelm in the moment - high stress often caused by that final small (sprout-sized) thing?

H - Hungry: Are you genuinely hungry? When did you last eat something healthy, filling and satisfying? Or is it a craving, boredom, a snack-attack?

I - Isolated: Do you feel lonely, ignored, dismissed or over-looked? Feelings of disconnection and not being valued by others can trigger poor coping, or attempts to numb the feelings with food, drink, work, closing off from others.

T - Tired: Do you feel exhausted, run-down, constantly running on empty? Is your sleep disrupted or poor? Do you struggle to switch-off and unwind (without the help of booze)?

E - Emotional: Experiencing strong emotions like, anger, resentment, jealousy, sadness, hurt, low-mood, self-hatred can lead to self-sabotage and pressing that self-destruct button.

What to do once you have identified the leading culprit (let's face it the chances are high that there's more than one!) - then it's about taking some practical steps to deal with it or manage it so that it doesn't lead to the consequences such as binge-eating, not taking a break, or spinning off into a cycle of worry and rumination.

The following are some headline tips to help you in the first instance. It is important, however, to recognise that many of our behaviours and the feelings above are rooted embedded narratives we hold about ourselves, others and the world. With that in mind, there may be further work to do. DM me for a check or check out my Midlife Reshape Membership where I support bogged-down and burned out midlifers to overcome their self-sabotaging behaviours and achieve health transformation and weight-loss.

Stress: Give yourself some time and space to breathe and organise your thinking. The key phrase here is 'if it's on your mind it has your mind, so get it off your mind' and into something reliable like a list or journal or even a conversation with a trusted person.

Hunger: If, as is often the case you are bored, stressed, experiencing a craving or at the whim of your day to day habits and prone to snacking or binge-eating, it can be helpful rather than trying to simply resist the urges, to build in a delay, distraction, replacement or reduce the impact. Bargain with yourself - and build in a ten minute delay in which you distract yourself with something else - and accept that if after that time you still have the craving you will honour it. Often that is enough to allow the craving to pass and your mind to become engaged in something else. On the occasions when it doesn't then have to hand a replacement - something healthier that can satisfy your mouth boredom (as one of my clients calls it). Or you could pick something less ideal but better in terms of nutritional or calorific value than your usual go to. The key is to notice the hunger drive, acknowledge it and work with it rather than against it.

Isolated: We have evolved to feel more at ease and comfortable when we feel connected (introverts and extroverts alike) with others. If you have been working in isolation for some time, perhaps on a project, or have moved to a new job or area, feelings of loneliness can be incredibly strong. This can lead to a drive to numb the emotions or avoid them with coping strategies that aren't the best for us. Re-connect with someone close today. A ten minute phone call can be enough to get you back to feeling more like yourself. Arrange to meet someone in person, speak to your manager about mixing up your work arrangements to include more interaction. And if you are really struggling - reach out to a professional. Your GP, a therapist or coach can really help you with this. Golden rule - don't go it alone.

Tired: Being psychologically exhausted can be debilitating. Burn-out is often cause by long period of chronic stress, coping with excessive demands and feelings of lack of control. Sleep disruption can be both caused by this and contribute to it. Take steps to build in micro-breaks into your day. Take a walk, have lunch with a friend, read a book meditate, pray. Whatever helps you unwind some of that tension. And, then focus on improving your sleep. Small but significant tweaks in your sleep habits and environment can dramatically improve your sleep quality and really help to recharge the batteries.

Emotional: This covers ALL the range of emotions, some many of us may not recognise as 'being emotional.' Like anger, resentment, frustration, jealousy. They are emotions and they can be corrosive. Feeling sad and low can also be distressing. You may have found ways of coping with these that are less than helpful, like closing down, bottling it up or taking it out on others. None of these are satisfactory in the long-term and whilst there may be a short-term pay-off, they will cause you issues over the long term. Reframe your emotions as signals and data. They are telling you something, even if they are misguided, their job is to alert you to something in order to take appropriate action. So start to notice and label the emotion as it arises. Label it, not you. Then Acknowledge it and look for the underlying triggers. Seek to avoid judging yourself as good or bad for experiencing it. Simply look for the reasons and then, jot them down into a journal or capture them for reflection later. Exploring the emotion when feeling in a better place can lead to some great insights and learning and, yes, action.

Getting out of the S.H.I.T.E.

This can take time and practice, but getting to know your S.H.I.T.E. triggers and dealing with the cause of your over-eating/ thinking/ doing, can be far more effective than simply tinkering with the effects.

Let me know your thoughts on the S.H.I.T.E. Guide and the tips above. If you resonate and would like to talk further about how my coaching support or the Midlife Reshape Membership then DM me or email me at [email protected]

Want a pdf of the S.H.I.T.E. Guide to share or keep as reference? Visit here to claim your free infographic.

I help hard-pressed professionals struggling with their weight, wellbeing and work-life balance, by providing a ‘life-proof’ process to lose weight, improve health and get life back on their own terms.

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