Getting to Know You

First heard in the 1951 Rogers and Hammerstein musical The King and I, the song “Getting to Know You” extols the benefits of people getting to deeply know one another over time.

For anyone unfamiliar with the song, the lyrics in the chorus begin with the line, “Getting to know you, getting to know all about you...”

Nearly 60 years later this message may seem kind of quaint, even simplistic, given the multitude of ways we can now use to almost instantly get to know and connect with total strangers. 

Websites, online videos, social media platforms and mobile devices provide us with a level of up-close-and-personal scrutiny and connectivity that was unimaginable in the 50s. 

For that matter, as recently as 30 years ago those things were still mostly the stuff of fantasy or science fiction. 

It’s only in the last decade or so that we’ve become aware of and gained near immediate access to so many people that we previously may not have even known existed. That’s remarkable when you think about it! 

However, there’s also a problem with that. 

So Close, Yet So Far 

Because technology has done the heavy lifting and made it relatively easy for us to size up others and form opinions of them from a distance, many people no longer understand (or appreciate) the importance of getting to know them at a deeper level. 

We often mistakenly believe that our superficial assessment of others is a true representation of who they are, what they stand for, and what they may or may not need. 

But without the benefit of the kinds of additional details that can typically only be gleaned through direct, sometimes prolonged, personal interaction, we risk completely misjudging them and understanding what’s important to them. 

Professionally speaking, this is dangerous territory to be in…which brings me to the point of this article. 

What You Don’t Know Can Hurt You 

If you’re at all active here on LinkedIn and have a sizable network of contacts and followers, you’re probably already getting connection requests from people who, in many cases, have no obvious reason for reaching out to you other than they see you as someone in need of their product or service. 

They have something to sell and (guess what?) they’re looking at YOU with dollar signs in their eyes. 

To be fair, there’s absolutely nothing wrong with reaching out to prospective buyers of a given product or service to determine their interest. However, contacting someone under misleading pretenses is the absolute WORST WAY to begin a relationship...online or in person! 

A LinkedIn connection request that includes, or is immediately followed by, a thinly disguised sales pitch for the requester’s service offering is virtually guaranteed to leave a bad taste in the mouth of the person receiving it. 

Not sure what makes anyone think that’s an okay practice. 

Know, Like and Trust 

On multiple occasions, I’ve been contacted by individuals on LinkedIn (wanting to connect) who had no apparent reservations about instantly trotting out a copy-and-paste spiel telling me how I could profit from their particular product or service after we’d officially connected! 

Instead of spending some amount of time “getting to know me, getting to know all about me,” they simply assumed I desperately needed their services and cut to the chase. Big mistake. 

For reasons already mentioned, this approach doesn’t work on me. In fact, with few exceptions, it doesn’t work on most people. 

Providers who aren’t willing to invest time and effort in creating rapport, adding value to, and building trust-based relationships with prospects, will have a difficult-if-not-impossible time converting them into customers. And at the risk of stating the obvious, without customers you don’t have a business. 

The takeaway here is that while technology offers the ability to expedite the “getting to know you” process, it doesn’t eliminate the need for it. 

Those who recognize this and address it in their sales and marketing efforts will see their businesses grow and profit accordingly; those who don’t won’t. 

It’s really that simple.

How do you feel about people who lay a sales pitch on you before (or without) first taking the time get to know you and understand your wants and needs? Leave your thoughts and comments below.

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