Getting the "ick" out of networking

My history with networking

The word networking used to leave a bad taste in my mouth. I would associate it with words like draining, fake, and soul-sucking, and when I ran a poll on LinkedIn a few weeks ago, it seemed a lot of you shared the same sentiment.

I was busy building my career, working 80-hour work weeks and hustling for my next pay raise and promotion. Who even had time to network? I was so exhausted that thinking about making an effort "to be social" just felt like a waste of time, and that last bit of energy I had, I wanted to reserve for my friends and family.

In this article, we'll dive into why networking is so important for your leadership trajectory and aligned ways that you can start doing it that don't feel draining, fake, or soul-sucking.

How does that sound?

Why is networking so important?

It's important because it's about people, and people matter. People like working and dealing with people they know, like, and trust.

That's the core of it.

• The more people you know, the more opportunities you come across
• The more people you talk to, the more ideas and inspiration you get
• The more people that know what you're doing, the more support you can get to push it forward
• And the more people you know, the fewer calls you need to make to figure out "who can do that thing," like corporate insurance or someone that specializes in AI

Although you can achieve a lot on your own, you're even more powerful when you're in community; and this is true whether you're building a business or working in the corporate space. As a leader, the people will always be the most important part.

Have you ever noticed that sometimes you think something will take a long time, and then after one quick conversation, that thing is resolved, completed or progressed way farther than you thought was possible? Or more motivated to get back to what you're working on?

We value independence in this society, and sometimes, that value can go a little too far. We want to do it all on our own and then don't know when or how to ask for help. Honestly, you might not even know how to be in a community. I've only just realized that it has been a foreign concept to me, and I'm working on it every day.

Networking has a bad rep.

I've spent a lot of time in the wrong rooms where I wish I could get that time back. Everyone seems to have something to prove, and it becomes a game of who can stand taller (which I always lose since I'm only 5"1) and puff their chest wider. Have you been in those too?

It feels so fake, with people just going on and on about themselves or things that don't feel important. By the time you log off the Zoom or get into your car, you feel drained and even more disconnected than before.

But not all rooms are like that.

If this is what's happening to you, it may mean that you're in the wrong rooms or joining the wrong communities.

Find the right rooms.

Find places with people that are more aligned with who you are and who you want to be. Last year, I went on a mission, joining every networking room I could find myself in, free or paid. I dreaded going to most of them, but there were a few that really caught my attention.

Groundswell Coworking: A community coworking space in Simcoe that offers coworking and an online community of some of the most interesting people I've ever met. Many have had multiple careers, dream about building a better world that combines creativity, heart-centeredness and connection and are now either business owners or in the creative process of figuring out their next thing.

Women's Executive Network (WXN) : A community of high-powered women changing the world through vulnerable conversations, talking about REAL things that matter and uplifting each other while they do it.

These groups are so aligned with my values of community, intellectually stimulating conversations and a shared view of wanting to make the world a better place that I actually enjoy being in these rooms. It doesn't feel like effort.

Take the time to find communities that are aligned with you.

Find the right people.

It all starts with you. If you're carrying the perspective that the event is going to be draining and soul-sucking, you're absolutely right. It will be.

It starts with how you show up in these places. Be intentional about what you want to get out of it.

Are you showing up immediately, thinking people should become your clients or offer you something without you really knowing anyone? People feel this, and I don't know about you, but I hate when someone tries to sell me something when I don't know or trust them. It just feels sleazy.

Are you trying to meet everyone but then not really getting to know anyone? Instead, pick 1 or 2 people you'll build a real connection with. Go deep instead of wide and focus on building those connections over time. Stay in touch with them, connect with them after the event and really get to know these people.

Are you planning to be in this community once or for a long time? It's easier and less pressure to stay in a community and build stronger relationships over time. People get a chance to really know you as a person and what you're all about. The connections are more genuine and go deeper. Joining a brand new community every week has the benefit of increasing visibility, and it's also a lot more work, having to introduce yourself and really show up to make an impression.

Your intention and purpose going into these events will indicate what you get from them and how the people around you will respond.

Ask yourself: if someone else was showing up the way you are showing up in these rooms, would you want to connect with them? If the answer is no, adjust.

Align your networking strategy

Networking might look like:

• going to a conference as a vendor or participant
• joining a networking event on Zoom
• participating in a professional development workshop
• reaching out to an old co-worker to say "hi"
• having a coffee with a current co-worker
• going to a yoga class

Pick a frequency and cadence that feels aligned for you and your energy. This is going to be unique and different for every person depending on your goals and how much energy you have for it.

Once a week might be enough.

Once a month might be enough.

Once a quarter might be enough.

Then, give yourself permission to experiment and change your mind.

Networking is all about connection and building relationships, so how do you like to build relationships?

It might be uncomfortable, so challenge yourself to step outside of your comfort zone.

Keep practicing.

Keep exploring.

Keep reiterating.

At the core of networking is people. It can be shallow and soul-sucking or deeply meaningful. It's your choice. What choice will you make?

Closing thought: Networking is all about connection. It's about building meaningful relationships. There's no one right way to do it so find a way that feels aligned with your values with people you like being around.

What are your favourite ways to network? Comment below, and let's curate a list of different, radical ways to connect and build meaningful relationships.

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About Jenn

Jenn coaches leaders to step into their authenticity and authority. She guides her clients as they expand in their lives and work. She supports her clients in exploring new paths that align with their values, purpose, and goals. She is committed to bringing about ongoing, high-impact, positive change with her clients.

She leverages her 10+ years of corporate experience in finance and business operations. She offers a perspective of strong business fundamentals, strategy and career growth while incorporating her coaching and wellness training to focus on sustainable growth.