Getting ghosted after the interview

This article appeared in the 2-9-22 issue of Fast Company: https://link.ivytech.edu/Ghosted-at-work-Fast-Company

?As a career coach, I know how devastating it can feel to a student to put all the work into customizing their resume and cover letter, practice interviewing, then face being ghosted by the company. I have been there myself. I don’t want it to be, but it’s a blow to my ego and sends me into waves of self-doubt, and leaves my self-confidence shaky. It still does to this day.

?I was a little surprised to read that the author’s advice is to call the company once, and if you don’t get a response back to cut your losses and count yourself grateful to not work for the company. I see her point but I take a harder approach to this.

Especially if you have interviewed with a company, I believe you and the company have entered into an informal contract, and you as the candidate deserve to get an answer. I think just following up one time with the company lets them off the hook way too easily. I also don’t think that the culture of one department (HR, perhaps) speaks for the culture of the entire organization or the department you’d be working for. In fact, I think most hiring managers would be appalled if they found out someone they were considering for a position at their company was being treated in this way (unless it is the hiring manager who is ghosting you).

I would recommend following up a week after your interview data, either by phone or email. You’ve already sent an email and handwritten note to them thanking them for the time they gave you for the interview, within 24 hours of the interview. You can use this one-week contact to reiterate your excitement for the position and that you are eager to hear about the next steps.

If you don’t hear anything back after a week, I say contact them using the method you did not use previously (call if you emailed them and vice versa). Simply say that you are interested to know where they stand in the selection process.

?I think true ghosting happens at this stage. If you don’t hear back after this second inquiry, I advocate for putting them on a two-week schedule. Wait two more weeks, and call. No response? Wait two more weeks then email. I am a big fan of eventually sending them a letter in a 9 “x12” envelope via USPS to get their attention.

I have had private clients stay on this two-week schedule for up to 4 months before they got a reply. And do you know what the reply was? It was not: “Stop harassing or we’ll call the police! You’re scaring us!” No, the reply was, “We are so, so sorry! The position got put on hold, then we had a huge project come up and it was all hands on deck to get it done. But we are still interested in you if you are still available. We’d like to offer you the position at this salary...”

The life lesson I learned very early in my career is, “It’s never personal.” And it’s not personal in this case. You don’t know what is happening behind the scenes. A student often will say to me, “But I hate being a pest. Won’t they get annoyed if I keep contacting them?” The answer is yes, in a few cases. But not all cases. I would suggest that the majority of the time, the company appreciates the reminder.

What if you reframe how you see this situation? What if you are doing the company a favor by following up with them so doggedly? What if when you contact them, they think to themselves, “Yes! Shoot! I need to offer the job to that person! Let me just finish this one email…” and then they get distracted and forget to call you, again. Two weeks later, you contact them again. And they think, “Arrgggghhhh!!! I have got to take care of this right now!” and they pick up the phone and call you. All because you were persistent and kept reminding them they still needed to close the loop with you.

And for the record, they still owe you an answer, even if it is that they did not select you for the position.

One final thought. ?Not getting a response back from an employer can be really aggravating, and no one will blame you if you are angry and resentful about the situation. It’s perfectly normal and understandable to feel this way. However, you must never, EVER convey this frustration to an employer when you follow up with them. No matter what, stay positive and energetic. Listen to your favorite song and do a few jumping jacks before you make the call or write the email.

Especially when it’s been a while since the interview, you will want to let them know you are still interested in the job. When a recruiter or hiring manager has delayed contacting you, they may start thinking, “Well, it’s been so long, she probably got another job or isn’t interested in our job any longer.” Correct their assumption! In a voice mail or email message, again stay positive and say,

“Hi there, This is [YOUR NAME] and I interviewed for the [POSITION NAME] about [A MONTH AGO, 2 MONTHS AGO, SIX WEEKS AGO] and I just wanted to call to let you know that I am still very excited about the position and working for your company/organization. I was curious if you made a decision yet and what my next steps should be. Feel free to call me at PHONE NUMBER/Feel free to reply back to this email message and let me know. Again, I am very interested in this opportunity and look forward to hearing back from you. Thank you.”

And, scene.

No, seriously, know you are not alone in experiencing this ghosting, and it has nothing to do with you or your qualifications. Remember, you can’t read their minds, you don’t know what they are thinking, or what else is happening in their life right now that is preventing them from contacting you. Stay positive, be patient, stay persistent!