Solitude builds confidence to Succeed

When we're at home with who we are, we're willing to risk from a secure base, which leads to a solid peace, a success that satisfies. But, not everyone has such a base. So, venturing out to pursue success with our whole heart, often means taking a few steps back. It means spending time alone with God to shore up our inner doubts; it means meeting with a coach or mentor to find what's holding us back.

Some people appear to be after success, but are really active around the periphery while shying away from the bull's eye target that defines success for them. There are lots of reasons people do this. Ask any coach. Self-sabotage or paralyzing inner fears from past hurts or failures do a lot to take us off course; to keep us believing we're on track, when we're not. Getting honest at this level is a deep work. One I believe requires spiritual fortitude. And fortitude is built on discipline, in this case the spiritual discipline of solitude.

Making peace with success is hard for people who feel they don't quite deserve it; must earn it by performing on a level they are not ready for.

Some people feel success must be for someone else. These thoughts do not go away on their own. They must be addressed. Pursued.

To pursue success that lasts, means pursuing the things that hold us back in equal or greater measure. It's like success must be overtaken; it's this sense of then operating with a buffer zone, a reserve strength, energy to burn, that allows us to enjoy our success, to know it will last without us sabotaging it or undermining its worth.

The pursuit of success makes some people uncomfortable because it is odds with their self-image, with the unfinished work within they feel will never be done. And so, making our peace with success is also about making peace with being in process. We are literally in the process of becoming people who overcome all and any inner obstacles, and who gain success on the outside as the fruit of this gritty determination to yield to the One who made us and would heal us, and see us succeed in our godly ventures.

We must be at peace with the process of what it takes to succeed in a lasting, satisfying way.

Inner work: it's hard. It's time-consuming. It's real. And there is no substitute. No quick path to the spiritual disciplines, including this all-important one of reflective solitude. But the fruit is a renewed outlook. Greater confidence we are not alone, because in healthy solitude, we discover there is Someone here with us, who is for us in a big way. From this secure base it's much easier to evaluate and change what's holding us back and discern how best to proceed. God is in the details as much as we make room for him to be. You can trust him to deal with any doubt you may have about this.

If something is setting us at odds with succeeding, we need to know what that is.

We can ask people who are more successful than we are what we might be missing or running up against. Sounds like a great idea and one I'd highly recommend. But we can also ask God to help us take stock of what's going on, inside. And this requires a dedicated time of solitude and reflection, probably journaling. From this emerges a willingness to engage with people on a new level, whether that's with your coach or a friend, or a client. There is a renewed perspective that comes from solitude. There is a greater awareness of who we are and what we bring to the table. There is a humility, a recognition of needs we all hold in common. An understanding of the gaps and a dependency on the only One who can truly close them. Etc. In this way our time spent in solitude prepares us not only to handle the success that comes our way, but to enjoy a success that is the fruit of time well spent; we can see it as the extension of a life shaped, renewed, made stronger, healed, and able to multiply opportunities to share and to serve.

In other words, in solitude we find the security we need to risk, often with success following in lovely measure.

In reflective solitude, alone with the God who loves to know us, we address and eliminate the trip wires, the past wounds, the vague fears and feelings of worth that in coaching or close conversation may have come to the fore, but with which we don't quite know what to do with. It's solitude that might be the missing piece to the whole: the aspect of peace you seek. It can only complement and strengthen the good advice you might be getting from people who know what success is about; who are skilled to roadmap how to get there. Solitude is the spiritual discipline most needed to help bring it all home; to make it personal, final: to prepare the way for results, really, without limit AND to prepare our hearts to receive it.

FOR MORE ON SPIRITUAL DISCIPLINES that foster life within and without, visit my BOOKSTALL at www.daynamazzuca.com