Getting to Calm: Tips for the Multi Career Parents

I’ve been asked about how to “juggle it all” when you have 3 careers - parenting kids, professional career, and volunteer work. Having a child will transform your life and you will need to think about everything differently. When I first had children, I was overwhelmed and exhausted.   I learned after a while how to get things done efficiently and manage myself so I didn’t feel as though my hair was on fire.  The juggle is challenging but here are some tricks to help yourself: 

1.  Be organized - In the “old days”, I used outlook to create my family calendar. Now, we have a family gmail account with a calendar.  Everything is in the family calendar, including paying bills and prepping for the cleaning lady as you will need to pick up everything off of the floor so she can clean it. I created binders with sections for each kid. It held their school schedules, game schedules, a list of their friends parents numbers, and team rosters with the contact info for other parents just in case we needed help with pickups. Now, you can use evernote - each kids has a notebook or google docs where each kid has a drive. Review the calendar and “stuff” weekly with your spouse/partner.  This doesn’t take long but it helps. I suggest doing this once a week - Sundays were good for us.
2. Divide and conquer - like corporate employees, my husband and I had specific duties so that we knew we “owned” them. He took out the trash, did laundry and dishwashing, took care of the car, killed bugs, and dropped off the kids in the morning. I cooked, paid bills, organized the schedule and other things, and picked up the kids in the afternoon.  We knew that there were times when one of us traveled, but we usually checked with the other before booking a business trip (another golden rule).
3. Meals - Spend 2-3 hours cooking on a Sunday and prep all of your meals at once. This is highly efficient because if you start chopping vegetables, you may as well chop 2-3 of them. We also made one run to the grocery store.  I found that if I made 3 large meals, that it lasted through 4 meals - one day being leftover days. I usually made one pasta type of dish(like lasagne or ziti), a curry or a stew (usually Korean), and a casserole. After I bought a freezer for the garage, I made 5-6 meals and froze some. If the meals were eaten in 3 days, the 4th day was grilled cheese night or cereal night.  Not ideal but it works. On Fridays, our kitchen was closed.  We either did pizza, takeout, or got a loaf of bread and some cheeses (our kids loved baked brie with olives).  For breakfasts, we had waffles, cereal, oatmeal, and churros.  And my husband took them out for donuts at least once a week.  For lunches, the kids either bought lunch or packed their own. I did have the kids help or draw or do homework while I did the cooking. Kids are great stirrers and measurers. Cooking can be incorporated with math and science. If the ? cup was used for another ingredient, they learned that 2 ? cup measurements could make a ?.  If they were too young, I just gave them an empty pot and a spoon so they could pretend to cook.
4. Live with chaos - With 3 young kids, the house was always a mess. I just let it go…Hire a cleaner if possible but we understood that the times between the cleanings, that our house would be cluttered.
5. Volunteer at your school - You will make great friends and become engaged with the school. You will also meet your children’s friends. Going to a PTA meeting will only take 2 hours a month.  Being a volunteer for an activity can be done in a small amount of time but it will be impactful.
6. Make time for yourself and with your spouse/partner - I usually went out 1-2 times a month with friends and my spouse did the same.  I also scheduled in 1-2 date nights a month. It’s important for sanity.
7. Be kind to yourself - you will probably “screw up” by showing up late, forgetting picture day, late to work, forgetting to pay your bills, etc.. Don’t be harsh on yourself. Stuff happens.

 I hope everyone enjoys their parenthood experience and can do it while having a career that they enjoy. Everyone’s journey is different and you will find something that works for you. I hope these tips help..