Get Your Volume Right

We all have natural strengths—our “go to” way for getting things done. Using and nurturing them is a fundamental part of who we are. But sometimes, they are so ingrained, we’re unaware of how we overuse them and the impact that has on others.

Imagine your strengths are like a pair of headphones. Have you ever listened to music on headphones on a run or at the gym? Often the volume we choose feels inadequate, so we inch the level up after a few minutes. Then we do it again. After all, more is better, right? The tendency to dial it up is so common that many audio devices come with warnings regarding how you might be putting your hearing at risk by turning the volume up too high.

Our strengths can function in the same way. We grow accustomed to using them at a certain level. Then, without even realizing it, we rely on those strengths even more—especially during times of stress. We turn up the volume bit by bit, making it less likely to achieve the results we want, and possibly risking relationships along the way.

Let’s say your natural strength is being practical; you pride yourself on finding fact-based solutions. But if set too high, this “practical volume” may turn into pessimism: you perpetually find “facts” or reasons for not doing something. Instead of the leader who inspires and engages forward motion, you become the naysayer who slows everything down. Or consider the strength of being loyal. If dialed too high, loyalty may turn into gullibility: choosing to overlook flaws in a project or ignore “red flags” in people in favor of blindly pledging allegiance. Even a great strength like passion, if turned too high, can be damaging. Your constant zeal and energy over time may feel domineering or exhausting to others—or might discourage people less extroverted from contributing.

Get Your Volume Right when using your natural strengths by following these simple steps:

1. Identify three of your top go-to strengths (i.e. I am very proactive.)
2. Describe what it might look like and the impact it would have if you were to set the volume too high on each of these strengths. (i.e. I could be overbearing and step on others’ toes.)
3. Ask a trusted friend or colleague if they’ve ever seen you exhibit any of the negative behaviors you identified . If so, ask them to describe the situation and the impact of your dialed-up strength. (i.e. Lori shut down in the last team meeting when you volunteered to do her part of the project.)

Identify a different strength that might have been more effective in the situation and/or which ways you might turn the volume down on the original strength in the future. (i.e. Get curious. Ask for others’ feedback and input before acting.)

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Get Your Volume Right is one of the 15 proven practices to build effective relationships at work from my new book, Get Better, which is in stores now! Click here to learn more about the book, or to order a copy of your own: