Get Your Story Straight!

I’m a Speaker Coach. I get people comfortable and excited about speaking to an audience (be they, one or many) but here’s what you don’t know about my job...

?65, maybe 70% of the work I do with clients has nothing to do with their voice and everything to do with their content?

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In most cases, I get a call when there’s a speaking engagement or presentation coming up and with the expectation that I help with vocal clarity, confidence, and nerves and provide tips on how to avoid brain fog and those tumbleweed moments.

And of course, that’s exactly what I do.

However, the physicality of ‘speaking’ is just the icing on the cake. It’s not where the confidence to speak to an audience comes from.

The CAKE itself is made when the client is comfortable with the content and believes what they’re saying.

?“Sorry, what...?” I hear you say. “Why would a person not believe what they’re saying?”

?When we’re presenting in a ‘professional’ capacity, we feel the need to be seen as ‘professional’. We use language that makes us sound credible and knowledgeable. Usually, we present a version of us that doesn’t exist. We play at being the person we think we should be and therefore we don’t ‘believe’ what we’re saying. We feel uncomfortable because our words are not aligned with who we are, which makes our imposter syndrome go into overdrive, our mouth go dry, and all the words fall out of our head!

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Before I start working with a client, I ask them to write down everything they need to say. Get it all out and on to paper.

Generally, what I get is a 2000-word essay. A fabulous piece of writing but dry and devoid of any personality. Having said that, we may not use any of it, but I don’t rip it up immediately. It’s a starting point.

“What a waste of all those words,” you say. “Why don’t I just recite what I’ve written. It’s all there.”

Yes, but it’s surface. It means nothing to anybody but you and besides it will sound monotonous because you don’t speak like that!

Nobody speaks like that! You, (we all) write more formally than we speak so why would you recite something that doesn’t sound like you... that you don’t ‘believe’.

Plus, do you know how many words you’d have to learn for a 10 min talk? Around 1000. That’s over 2 A4 pages of text! Good luck with that.

?So, how then do we (me and you) get to a meaningful, effective presentation that’s impactful and entertaining. That you’ll remember and enjoy giving?

Read how in my article: Get Your Story Straight!

You Are The Media Creator Day 2024

The You Are The Media Creator Day 2024 was special for many reasons.

The icing on the cake for me this year though was to be invited to share my career lowlights to the Failed Nights audience and give an energising wake up call to the audience from the main stage.

But the cherry on top was to be in the front row to watch (and support) the lovely?Shelley Rostlund as she delivered her 20-minute talk, Be More You, More of The Time.?

I worked with her over several months shaping the content and getting Shelley to a place where she didn’t fear ‘the bobbing heads beyond the lights’ and the ‘blank trauma’ when she came off stage. She did an amazing job engaging and educating the audience with her vulnerability and honesty. Proud mummy moment!

Shelley is LIVE with me for Speaking About Speaking tomorrow on here on LinkedIn and on YouTube. I know she had some amazing feedback, and I can’t wait to find out more. Our conversation will be the first chance we’ve had to debrief about the day, the talk and the aftermath and I intend to find everything, so why not join us at 4 pm BST. ?https://www.dhirubhai.net/events/speakingaboutspeaking-posttalkd7195479827036917760/theater/

There Is No Failure, Only Feedback.

When?Mark Masters?asked me to speak at?Matthew Denyer's Failed Night event the evening before?You Are The Media?Creator Day?#InPoole, I said yes immediately.? It was only afterwards I thought oh, sh*t, what am I going to talk about!

Not that I've never failed at anything, I certainly have, but which story from my immense back catalogue would be relevant for the audience. I'd attended the event the year before and so knew it was a light hearted look at our career failures (i.e.,?Gus Bhandal realising that his turban might be an issue in following his dream of being a fireman! ??) but I wanted my talk to resonate and educate too.

I decided to call it 'So, I didn't win an Oscar. Did I fail?', a 15-minute whistle stop tour of my early attempts at being a fashion designer and then actor.?

It was quite a cathartic process looking back at disappointments and setbacks, but we've all been there. Unlike me, most people don't end up on stage in a Jacobean Tragedy wearing a boilersuit and a strap-on, but we've all had those 'what the hell am I doing here' moments??

My conclusion - There is no failure, only feedback!? If you don't try you won't fail - but you won't grow?either!?

Failed Nights is a brilliant concept and it was fabulous to hear from my fellow epic fail speakers... Christine Gritmon, talking of failed launches and how sometimes you just need to quit. And my firecracker friend,?Jon Burkhart, who taught us the origin of sabot-age and the meaning of forgiveness! In my opinion - there was no failure here!

However...

?I missed showing the CTA slide and a chunk of my talk.

And guess what no one noticed!

Forgetting lines is the thing that worries us the most when we give a talk or presentation. It makes us anxious, not just about missing the important stuff out but showing up at all!

?Take it from a speaker, speaker coach and former actor, no one cares! ????

I’ve been in plays where we’ve missed whole sections of dialogue (Awkward when another actor is relying on your line as their cue to speak) but it’s not the end of the world.

Yes, it’s annoying and yes it was of course the part that rammed home your point or got the biggest laugh but take it from me, showing up for your audience is what’s important.

SO, what did I miss...

My talk was entitled ‘So I didn’t win and Oscar. Did I fail?’ and was a 15-minute romp through my brief but eventful acting career.

In my conclusion I spoke about how it wasn’t about winning the Oscar but about getting recognition and respect from the people I recognise and respect (my parents, peers etc.)

I was meant to continue...

“...there's still time for me to win the Oscar but I'm 95% sure it won't be for acting. It may not even be an Oscar per se, but it will be for creating something of value, something worth sharing with the world. So, there's no failure here! “

And then I finished with my learnings blah, blah, blah...

So, there, I did get to share my missed 'pearls of wisdom' in the end. If you’d like to hear the whole talk then please book me to speak at your event! ??

DM me and we can have a chat.

YATM and Me: A brief history.

What started as networking evolved into a community and has transcended into friendship!?

I don't know about you but as a solo business owner, I lead a lonely life!?

I work alone 80% of the time - that's why it's important to have a support network of people who know what it’s like to be you.

When I started networking for my business back in 2018, I found it hard to walk into a room full of strangers and make small talk with people who just wanted to sell me stuff!?I became quite disillusioned.?

However, that all changed when I walked into the Shelley Theatre in Southbourne.?

The Shelley is an awe-inspiring space. Original to Mary and Percy Shelley’s house and built for them I assume to impress their friends. It’s shabby chic and historically enigmatic.

I walked into an absolutely packed café area bustling with people chattering, sat at tables, and eating their lunch from a cardboard box. We listened to an invited speaker on a makeshift stage interviewed by Mark. I remember sitting on a table with?John ‘the wire guy’ Jocham.?All the familiar faces were there but at that time we were strangers.?

Not anymore.

Read YATM and Me: A brief history.

Speaking About Speaking - the podcast

?I was honoured and excited to have Philip Daw former CFO of Unicorn Business Gymshark on my Speaking About Speaking LIVE podcast. Phil is the nicest human being ever!

Plus, he is incredibly humble. Just as well as 'Stay humble' was a Gymshark core value instituted by former Gymshark president and Phil's fellow director at We Are Whanau, Steve Hewitt.

Phil was part of the team along with Steve and founder, Ben Francis MBE that helped the iconic brand reach its Unicorn status. In this clip Phil tells me what makes a business a Unicorn and how Gymshark became one. In the full episode we discuss the power of ...

? Developing and empowering your staff.

? Influencer marketing.

? A simple business model.

? The sliding doors moment.

You can listen to the episode on your favourite podcast platform or watch the replay on LinkedIn or YouTube.

Catch up with previously live episodes with Sarah Clay and Michelle Haslam

Thanks for reading! If there's anything I can do for you or if you'd like to find out more about me go to https://powertospeak.co.uk/

Or let's have a chat

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