Get your 16-24-year-old’s attention by turning off all devices

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You may have wondered why your 16-24-year-old seems so obsessed when they receive that text, Facebook like, or beep, chirp, or random noise?

The answer to this seemingly impossible obsession with social media is scientific and brain-related, even though you might find the behavior to be merely disrespectful.

Having this understanding may even make you more compassionate for your child and his or her undeveloped mind, and provide you with practical steps to curb its use.  

Why is it nearly impossible to get their attention while using these platforms?

Quite simply, the answer lies with the chemical dopamine, which is the reward chemical in the brain that becomes activated when we have sex, eat, or perform a new and exciting activity. Basically, any time human beings experience or anticipate doing fun activities, this neurotransmitter gets released. Therefore, when your 16-24-year-old receives a tweet, or other bleep, they will most likely want more because the unknown generates excitement.

In Psychology Today, Susan Weinschenk, reiterated this point: “With the internet, twitter, and texting, you now have instant gratification, . . .” which generates this insatiable appetite. In sum, when an individual, especially a teenager, receives that first dopamine high from one text, email, or Instagram notice, their desire increases and can reach an unhealthy level; even to the point of becoming an addiction.

Knowing full well that you cannot compete with your college-aged child’s brain chemistry, you, as the parent or caretaker, then, must make the decision to turn all devices off to refocus their attention.

If this describes your home life, and you do not like this trajectory, these: “Get your 16-24-year-old’s attention by turning off all devices” tips will support this weaning process.  

1.      Discuss with your 16-24-year-old your concerns regarding their use or overuse of social media.

2.      Decide that there will be times and places that devices will not be used in your home. (Make the area or designated period a great opportunity to bond as a family).

3.      Write out the social media use rules, and place them in a visible area, so that all understand the guidelines.

4.      Do things together that are fun; without technology, even if it requires leaving the house. (I have heard parents say that their children do not like going out. (Realize, that you as the parent must motivate them to want to do activities outside such as: bike riding, walking, playing frisbee, or others physical things because no one was designed to be stationary).   

5.      Make technology a reward or a utility, instead of a habit that dominates all life.

6.      Seek out a mental health therapist or other professional if social media has become an addiction, that is uncontrollable.     

Making the decision to shut down your devices or modifying the usage may seem a bit radical to your 16-24-year-old, but with intentional effort, and a bit of patience and time, his or her ability to focus can eventually return.

Thank you for reading.

Your thoughts are very appreciated.

Link for Full Article: https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/brain-wise/201209/why-were-all-addicted-texts-twitter-and-google?eml

Researcher’s Bio

Karen Bontrager helps 16-24-year-old men make permanent shifts in their behavior from merely surviving in life to thriving through transparent coaching/counseling in one-on-one conversations and in group work, and through topic sensitive workshops. With this ontological approach, I partner with my clients to discover their essence, (aka highest and best self) by powerfully reflecting and listening to them. My clients quickly learn how to generate self-awareness and to voice their own relationship needs in a clear, constructive way by learning key coaching techniques/evidenced based counseling approaches/tools to work past their traumatic events and addictions to move forward. The clients are then equipped to develop healthy relationships with key relationships: parents/siblings/friends, and with intimate dating partners because they have learned how to proactively use their voice.