Get on with Stopping

Leaders run to problems, solve them, challenge the status quo and change the order of things for the better. Leaders make progress. Leaders get things done. Leaders relentlessly prioritize, recognizing that trying to do too much is as self-defeating as failing to do enough. As they think about Preserve the Best, Re-Invent the Rest, leaders undertake an examination of what must Start and what should Continue. They also are realistic enough to understand that some things need to Stop. There’s just no getting around it. For change to happen, some things have to be left behind.

Stopping is the thing my coaching clients find the most difficult. Just in the last week alone, I’ve been on several Zoom calls where participants have confessed that they are finding it really hard to stop doing something they’ve been doing for a long time. They are excited about what they will Start, clear about what they will Continue, but conflicted and paralyzed about what they should Stop.

Why? The status quo is extremely powerful in every organization or team because change is hard at a personal level. People are people no matter what effort they are engaged in. I sometimes say:

“Change is like heaven; everyone wants to go there, but nobody wants to die.”

In other words, change is great to talk about, or even plan for and get excited about, but actually changing is very, very difficult.

Even when we have all the information necessary to tell ourselves that something we’ve been doing no longer serves us well, it’s very hard to change. It’s hard to break a habit. “Old habits die hard.” Our work lives, as well as our personal lives, are filled with actions that might have been new once, but now have become familiar, comfortable routine. It takes real effort, time and focus to give up on something long-standing and easier, learn how to do something new and therefore more difficult, and practice it until you are proficient.

There is another reason “Stop” is so difficult. The things we’ve always done become part of our identity. They are part of how we perceive ourselves. They are part of the value we think we bring. And this is where people agonize. What if I cannot do the new thing as well as I did the old thing? What if my stature in the organization is diminished when this particular piece of work is no longer a priority? What if no one actually notices that the work isn’t being done anymore? All these questions tug at our sense of self and self-worth. This is human nature. We fear loss.

Whatever your reason for avoiding the decision to Stop, you need to get on with it. Change and progress cannot occur otherwise. Yes, there will be fear, uncertainty, and push-back. Which is yet another reason courage and character are essential to leadership.