Get to the Root of the Issue as You Try and Make a Change

We all have barriers or roadblocks to change. And we know if we could just get over them and turn our weaknesses into strengths, we would unlock all sorts of progress and opportunities. For Ahmad, discussed in the previous chapter, there were barriers with networking he needed to overcome. And for Marius, also discussed in the previous chapter, his barrier was shortcomings in his work relationships.?

Before you can start making changes, you first need to know what it is you want to change.

For me, it's being more present with my family, my clients, and with my work. All too frequently, when I am with my family, my mind is somewhere else and I’m not fully present. When my wife notices this, she’s great at bringing me back by saying something like, "Hey, be with us…." At work, I often lose myself in checking email or sports news updates instead of remaining focused on the work I'm doing. In fact, I was feeling pulled to do that right before I wrote this line. Yep, there is work to do!

I recognize that if I can continue to improve my ability to be present in all areas of my life, that will fuel significant progress for me.

Get to the Root of the Issue

So what's your big change? What is the number one thing that would help you unlock your potential? Take a moment and ponder, and possibly journal about this.

Once you have identified the change you need to make, it doesn't mean all the work is done—you're just getting started.?

Even if you have known about the need to change (often for years), you might still resist it. You may have already tried all sorts of things including:

• Taking courses to learn new skills
• Setting up new behaviors/expectations (like a diet or exercise program)
• Reading self-help or leadership books
• Following a focused morning routine before starting your work day
• Trying to "buckle down" and make it happen this time

And yet, you still struggle to sustainably change the behavior. Why?

You are trying to prescribe a solution of new actions to take, without knowing the true cause of your problem. You think just laying out a set of behavior changes will make it all go away.

For each of us, there is something beyond just our actions that is driving our inability to make these changes. It takes a change in belief, a change in assumptions, a change in mindset.

If you change your mindset, then suddenly you can address the real problem and get to a real solution.

If you don't, your efforts to change your behavior will feel like driving a car with your foot on the gas and the brake at the same time. It doesn't work.

To use another metaphor from Harvard psychologists Robert Kegan and Lisa Laskow Lahey in their book Immunity to Change , it's like your mind has an immune response to the change you're trying to make, and fights hard to keep things the way they are. In the book they say, "At the simplest level, any particular expression of the immunity to change provides us a picture of how we are systematically working against the very goal we genuinely want to achieve." (emphasis added)?

Wow, we are systematically working against ourselves? Yes, we are.

An Example of the Need to Get to the Root

Let's take Ian as an example. Ian was a senior engineering leader, trying to build teams, build the business, and build his career while growing his young family (something he wanted to make more time for).?

But he took it all on himself, without delegating and sharing the workload with his team. He was stuck in a mindset that exaggerated his self-importance, thinking he was the only person capable of completing the work correctly. Any new task that came his way, he thought he needed to take care of it on his own. So he quickly became overwhelmed by the weight of all his responsibilities, and wasn’t able to spend the time with his family that he wanted to.

Don't get me wrong, he typically did a great job with the tasks he took on. He worked extremely hard and did great work. But crazy busy weeks piled up over time and he burned out.

He tried some things to figure out how to scale his impact without burning out again:

• He took courses on LinkedIn Learning.
• He attended industry conferences.
• He participated in training available to him through his workplace.

But none of these things seemed to do the trick. He was still stuck in his old ways of doing things. Months of effort and exhaustion with no end in sight.

The problem was, until we met and started working together, Ian didn't even know what the real problem was. Think about that for a moment!

But how do I uncover the real problem? you might ask…. There is a process for this, and I'll lay out the basics for you in the next newsletter.

For now, just be looking for it.?

After working with me to make some internal and external changes, Ian later had a great experience where he told me, "I just took on a new project and was able to assign my team member to take ownership of it from the beginning. The client was cool with it and I hardly have to [do] anything about it. I never would have been able to do this a few months ago."

This was because he was able to get to the root of the issue. Ian eventually realized that he was driven by a fear that if he didn't take primary ownership of virtually all tasks that clients were counting on, the quality of the work would suffer and would result in poor performance. Ironically, trying to do it all himself actually made things worse. As he changed his mindset to being more trusting of his coworkers and oriented towards building the team, he started experimenting with delegating more and letting go of the emotional need to do everything himself. And as he changed, he received great results.

The real key to sustainable change is going through a mindset transformation. Shift your mindset, then let it shift your behaviors, which will bring the results you want.?

Take Intentional Action

Identify one big change you’d like to make that would make a huge impact in your life or career.

Then, start asking yourself - what is actually happening beneath the surface? What might be the root cause of this?

Then, come back in a couple weeks for a process to make the change sustainably.

Accelerate Your Progress

This newsletter is an adapted excerpt from my new book, The Intentional Engineer . It was written just for intentional engineers like you. Go grab your own copy today at: https://amzn.to/3u6bJF2